TOS Caption Contest #192: Who Invited You?

[Gary7]

 

[jep]

Klingon, Thinking to Self: "Look at these doofi. The only way a Klingon could look so stupid would be if they had ridiculous looking ridges on their foreheads."



.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Next week on Star Trek: The Klingons stir up trouble on the Planet of the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tubemen!

McCoy: "These new-fangled holodecks still need a lot of work, Jim. I asked the computer for a simulation featuring Nancy Crater, not Nazi traitors!"

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Klingon: "*psst* I know it was you that stole my rug."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kraas realizes he's stumbled into an avant garde production of Equus.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Kirk: Spock, I know you love Ikea but what is this thing?
Spock: Jim, please do not be so dismissive of the Åbrök. And it was on sale anyway.

Only with hindsight was the inspiration for Jeff Dunham's "Peanut" puppet obvious.

[/QUOTE]
Kirk: Come on, don't tell me the Fuhrer wouldn't want this piece of Grade A Deutsche Beefcake.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Whatever you do, Bones, DON"T MENTION THE WAR! I mentioned it once or twice, but I think I got away with it . . .

Winner!

 

[Hambone]

KIRK: Colonel McCoy is drunk again...we've got to sober him up!

SPOCK: Try massaging his left breast briskly.

DARAS: (*snort*) That'll never work!

KIRK: Don't laugh...you're next.

 

[Nerys Myk]

NIMOY: I gotta get a better gig. Space Nazis?????!!! Who writes this stuff?

 

[ItsGreen]

Kirk: Nomad, I am the creator, The Kirk
Nomad: You are the creator.
Kirk: I created that which is perfect.
Nomad: I am Nomad, I am perfect.
Kirk: Therefore as the creator I must be perfect to create that which is perfect.
Nomad: You are the Kirk unit, you are perfect.
Kirk: You see Mr. Spock, I knew it all along.
Spock: Captain, your logic is flawed and imperfect.
Kirk: Shut up Mr. Spock, I am Kirk, and I am Perfect!

 

[Isis]

Spock (from his post): "Captain, I realize you're not very selective in giving your 'come hither' look, but aren't you going a bit overboard?"

The dude in orange stood to make some serious money when his bra became the object of a bidding war between Katie Perry and Lady Gaga.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Readings indicate the device can not hear you over the sound of how awesome you are.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kras: Eleen's really going at it, isn't she? I get sloppy seconds.

Maab: Is that a llama?

 

[ItsGreen]

The Sid and Marty Krofft-Roddenberry Productions,
"Kras and Maab's Saturday Mornings Children's Hour"
was a dismal failure!

 

[Rat Boy]

Maab: "I don't get it. Where's Lord Helmet pointing his ring?"

Kras: *whistles innocently*

 

[LeadHead]

Maab: Welcome to Capella Doctor McCoy, the wife of our teer is expecting a child.

McCoy: You want me to handle the delivery?

Maab: No, we need you to do the Paternity test.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kras: What are you staring at, Capellan scum? Have you never heard of Amish Klingons?

 

[Gary7]

Kras: "Maab, as I advised you earlier, the Federation men are a devious lot. In kind, I think it would be only fair if you'd assign one of your guards to me."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

McCoy: Yes Captain. They're real and they're spectacular!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kras: As you Capellans will notice from this demonstration, this is how a handjob is done.