TOS Caption Contest #188: Doctor, Who's On First?

[LeadHead]

Spock: If you're not gonna do anything, just give me the phaser you moron!

 

[T'Girl]

McCoy: "I thought you were going to beam down to Talos Four, what happen?

Spock: "THE WOMEN !!!!"

 

[Mistral]

Piper: "We look silly."

Scotty: "It's Dragoncon-we all look silly-except for the Caution Tape gang. Just pose for the picture."

 

[milo bloom]

Voiceover: "Here we see the ship's psychiatrist, chief engineer, chief medical officer and ship's mathematician. Note how the ship's psychiatrist is in a standard uniform, instead of a more casual, civilian styled outfit. This is to ensure that any crewmember or officer needing her services are reminded that she is an academy-trained professional, and understands starship operations well enough to be truly empathetic to any work-related problems they may be experiencing.


As to why a gigantic starship with massive supercomputers needs a specialized mathematician, well, you got me. "

 

[Isis]

Pike: "Doctor, I hope you didn't mix things up again. You really have to move your liquor supply away from the colonoscopy prep solutions."

Spock: "Dr. McCoy, don't get so defensive about shrinking my pants. You've already educated us quite thoroughly that you're a doctor, not a launderer."

 

[Isis]

Pike: "No, I'm not worried about tomorrow's mission on Talos IV. It's not like I'm gonna get stuck there or something."

 

[T'Girl]

Piper: "We look silly."
Scotty: "It's Dragoncon-we all look silly-except for the Caution Tape gang. Just pose for the picture."

Piper: "Let me get this straight ...

The fans pay to have a picture taken with us?
Then the fans pay for the picture?
Then the fans pay to have it signed?

Scotty: "You got it."

Piper: "My God, have we all sunk this low?

.

 

[Vurok]

I can see your proud of yourself, but you don't need to show it to everyone...

Montgomery Scott was a fine engineer, but sadly his chronic colour-blindness let him down when it came to hide-and-seek.

Spock: You cannot be serious!? That ball was on the line! Chalk flew up! The logical conclusion therefore is that the ball transferred part of its kinetic energy to loose surface chalk particles on the line and as such, is correctly classed as 'in' giving me the point.

 

[T'Girl]

Gene Roddenberry:

Okay if everyone will face the viewscreen, I need you to react to the interesting special effect we'll be adding later and ...

... alright yes, we put pointed ears on one of the other actors, now can I have everyone's attention please?

 

[F. King Daniel]

Scotty(whispering): "Look, sooner or later one of us is gonna have to tell the captain that his butt's showin'!"