TOS Caption Contest #173: Sabataage

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kelso: "Hey Gary, you there? I figured since you're all laid up in bed and all, I'll tell you a few jokes I heard on this programme called the Muppet Show... There was this rabbi, priest and..."

Kirk: "What the hell happened here."
McCoy: "Haven't the slightest, but I don't reckon you should taste test the white powder."
Kirk: "Why, what's wrong?"
McCoy: "Have you seen Red Dwarf?"

Spock: "The candy floss isn't flossing, and the popsicles look like turds on sticks."
Scott: "I'm an engineer, not a carny."

Kirk: mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble gelati

Chekov: "What d'he say? What d'he say?"

Sulu: "The Godcaptain said that if we got Klingons, you should go outside and scrape them off."

Kirk: mumble mumble

Sulu: "And show some respect to your poor mama. You don't write, you don't call..."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

McCoy (offscreen): "The lightning rod is in place, the storm clouds are gathering; Kirk! Bring me a body!!"

Kirk: "At oneth, Marthter!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

McCoy: "Captain?"

Kirk: "My god, Bones. It's worse than we thought...According to this, Mr. Scott has already found our supply of scotch".

*Drunken scottish singing and loud crashing noises are heard*

McCoy (grimly): "I'll bolt the door"

 

[jep]

I must say that I like the avatar you're using.




.

 

[jep]

DELETED

 

[jep]

Spock: "Who's your bifurcated daddy?"


.

 

[ItsGreen]

"Mechanical rice picker" accident again,
I don't believe that for one Vulcan second!

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Aye, this is the little bastard that gave me this shitty haircut."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Aye, sir. Mr. Spock's just adding the barley now. The beer should be ready in a few hours.

Kirk (filtered): We don't have a few hours, Mr. Scott. The ship's kegger is at 1700 hours!

 

[T'Girl]

`

McCoy: "Damn it Jim"

Kirk: "What is it Bones?"

McCoy: "The entire crew is reduced to crystals and Tracy on the surface massacring the natives!"

Kirk: "What's your point Doctor."

McCoy: "This is no time to be surfing Vulcan Love Slave porn."

~

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "Captain's log, entry made by second officer."

 

[Nerys Myk]

[

SCOTTY:Yeah Captain, we pulled the muffler, but me 'n Spock kinna make heads nor tails of the rest.

SPOCK: Damn foriegn cars!

 

[ItsGreen]

Even the colorizer tech on the remastered DVD set
knew a red shirt when he saw one!

 

[Isis]

Spock: "So you think we'll be a hit at the arts and crafts fair?"

 

[Ssosmcin]

MENTOS! The fresh-maker...

Scotty: "Aye, there's bloody tribble all over the matrix sir."

Spock: "I told you that screeching under the hood wasn't the fan belt."

 

[ItsGreen]

There's a.....creature, OUT THERE!.........on the..........Nacelle....

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: See if you can find a gold command shirt that fits me, Bones.

I do NOT feel like doing any damn laundry this weekend.

SHATNER: And then Brando did like THIS...and started riding my back like I was a stallion in a derby.

Weird, really.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY: Give it to me straight, Mister Spock...

The thing-amajig is broken and the whatchamacallit connected to the whatz-it isn't working anymore...right?

 

[Tan Ru]

[Kirk in The 'Nam, fightin' with The Pig]​

"Charlie's in the light!! Charlie's in the light!!"​

 

[ItsGreen]

I found it in my technical journals...only one problem, we need 1.21 gigawatts of electricity.
(Scotty thinks to himself..one point.twenty-one gigawatts....where am I gonna get that kind of power?
Apollo, maybe! but the bolt of lightning hurt, Nomad? perhaps, but I died..How about Spocks run in with Vaal? YES!! )
Captain, how far to Gamma Trianguli VI?