TOS Caption Contest #173: Sabataage

[Rat Boy]

Quit laughing like that, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's strut our stuff for...

Sometimes G-rated is the way to go and that's certainly true of our first winner...

Uhura: "Lyre, lyre, pants on fire."
Spock: "Sticks and stones my break my bones, but illogical names will never hurt me."

Our next winner not only won but inspired this week's contest, as well...

McCoy (winks at Scotty): "Jim, I wonder if you could help me out with a crossword puzzle problem I'm having. What's an eight-letter word that means 'to intentionally damage'?"
Kirk: "Sabotaage. What? That's the right answer, isn't it? What's so funny?"

And our next winner (again, thanks to DS9Sega for supplying the picture) supplies us with further evidence why Garth was locked up in a mental institution...

Garth: "Yes captain. I challenge you... to a pissing contest!"
(explains that carpet)

Indeed it does. And for proving why Kirk might not be able to hear you over how awesome he is (and for providing an explanation as to where the heck this picture came from), our winner is...

Not only did I nail his girl Drusilla, I also stole Claudius Marcus' Jupiter 8!

Considering the sheer number of Photoshops this time around, I'll be handing out the (virtual) hardware for each of the above photos that were Photoshopped. First, a rather obvious one, I must say...

Uhura: I guess you can fit both of them in the "back door" at the same time.

Spock: You damn right I can Bitch. Now say my name.

And he's on fire, folks, for this second one...

Fat Kirk: Oh, fuck! Not again.

Next, our latest entry in the Assless Chaps milieu...

Kirk: "I've got hand it to you Lord Garth, that is some impressive shape shifting."


.

And finally a Batman reference that surprisingly didn't involve Yvonne Craig...

ROBIN: Try the rocket booster!

BATMAN: Done...old chum. The car's still not moving.

Congratulations to our many and multiple winners! This week, we head on down to engineering and various engineering-related locations. First, Lee Kelso becomes yet another victim of the lesser-known Muppet called Hose Monster. Next, Kirk and McCoy discover what Scotty's been hiding on his hard drive. Third, we have a picture of Spock and Scotty that's begging to be 'Shopped. And finally, in honor of the man whose...unique way of speaking gave us this week's title is a picture from TrekCore's Rare Photos section of William Shatner hamming it up. Caption smartly:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kelso: "So Mitchell's a God now? Figures; he's always been a douchebag. He won't stop whining about how I owe him fifty for...*ACK!*"

McCoy: "It ain't that hard, Jim. Sabotage."

Kirk: "Sabataage."

McCoy: "Sab-o-tage."

Kirk: "Sab-a-taaage."

McCoy: "Fine, you figure out what the hell happened here. I quit."

Doohan: "Nobody's going to believe that a starship is powered by these rocks."

Nimoy: "They already believe it's powered by glowing popsiciles. They'll believe anything."

Don Kirkeone: "Tataliga's a pimp; he never could have outfought Santino. But I didn't know until this day that it was Barzini all along."

 

[jep]

James T. Mussolini:

"The Fascist State lays claim to rule in the economic field no less than in others;
it makes its action felt throughout the length and breadth of the country by
means of its corporate, social, and educational institutions, and all the political,
economic, and spiritual forces of the nation, organised in their respective associations,
circulate within the State."


Offscreen: "Bridge to Dr. McCoy... he's doing it again."


.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Well see, there's your problem right there... someone has replaced your dilithium crystals with gummy worms."

Scotty: "I am goin' ta kill that poppin' jay Sulu!"


.

 

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell (on the communicator): "You know what they say, Lee. Anything goes when it comes to hose."

Kelso: "What the heck's that supposed to mean, Mitch...*ACK!*"

Kirk: "Maybe you should do an autopsy."

McCoy: "With what, a coffee grinder?"

Spock: *sniff* *sniff*

Scotty: "What is it, suh?"

Spock: "I just realized this wasn't a necklace. These are anal beads."

McCoy (off camera): "That blasted transporter's blended him with Donald Trump!"

 

[jep]

McCoy: "Another senseless Red-Shirt death..."


.

 

[jep]

"Say hello, to ma lil' friend!!!"


.

 

[T'Girl]

Announcer Voice:
"We've taken the fine crewmen who usually run the USS Exeter and have replaced them with Folger's Crystals."

Uhura: "It's the Klingon Commander calling again."

Sulu: "What are you going to do Captain?"

Kirk: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

 

[cooleddie74]

KELSO: Naaaaaaah, sir.

An illegal cable hookup might be against the LAW, but it sure as hell ain't dangerous in any way...

KIRK: This must have been the worst...or the BEST rave in history...depending on your point of view.

SPOCK: Curious. This component is just a clear plastic tube with a red coiled spring inside it. How does it even function?

SCOTTY: Got me, lad.

I've been chief engineer on this bloody ship for almost four years now...and I STILL dunno where the borgas toilet on this deck is.

I coulda been a rear admiral...instead of a ham...which is what I am, let's face it...

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Four hundred dead crewmen...reduced to piles of white crystals. I just don't GET IT.

McCOY: Based on my tricorder scans, Jim, HALF of them have already been snorted at a party.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK:There's a drug fueled orgy somewhere on this ship. I wont rest till I find it!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Keep Yeoman Rand out of the white stuff, Bones.

I don't think I even need to explain that.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Vulcan Shoots and Ladders is very complicated Mr Scott. SO BACK OFF!!!!!

KIRK: Atssa one spicy a meatball!

GIOTTO (Sighs) : Funny sir.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY: Borgas Pop Rocks.

I knew they wouldn't bloody work in the engine.

SPOCK: We have not added the root beer yet, Mister Scott. Please...be patient.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "The DNA doesn't lie, Jim. It's Sandy, alright. There's nothing left of him now except these tiny, little grains. Hey, that's kinda ironic, when you think about it!"

Scotty: "Och! This'll never work! I was a fool to think I could find real cheap dilithium crystals in an El Paso handmade-jewelry shop!"

McCoy (OS): "Time to knock it off, Jim! I know you're just trying to be funny, but it's been three weeks since we left the Iotian planet. And Yeoman Rand says if you ask her one more time where your 'piece of the action' is, she's going to file formal harassment charges with Starfleet Command!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PAUL CARR: This is a pretty cool sounding show. If it gets picked up, maybe I'll be a regular,

 

[Rat Boy]

Kelso: "Wait a minute, they use Comcast Cable Internet here on Delta Vega? What a bunch of goddamn...*ACK!*"

 

[A beaker full of death]

"Red shirt? Why would I be wearing a red shirt?"

"Blast it, I'm a doctor, not a laundress!"

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Whatever diet the crew of the Exeter was on, Jim, you should think about going on it. Sure beats green salad.

Kirk: STELLA!!!!! STELLA MUDD!!!!

 

[A beaker full of death]

Hey Spock! You were right!