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Kirk: My god man! Do you not understand the concept of proper male grooming? It looks like you've got a Tribble with a visible nose inbetween your legs.
Uhura: "Lyre, lyre, pants on fire."
Spock: "Sticks and stones my break my bones, but illogical names will never hurt me."
Spock (OS): "Gentleman, you're violating General Order Number Two. You're not laughing on the bridge and you're not waiting for the end of the episode."
Kirk: "Well, Garth, I see my suspicion that you have no cojones is correct."
Kirk: "This one just doesn't do it. Too bad--if they'd only put that exhaust pipe in the front, it would have been a no-brainer for me and they would have had a sale."
Spock (to himself): "I've finally determined why I like my lyre better than Miss Uhura. Although they both provide me with tactile pleasure, the lyre doesn't talk back."
Kirk: "So you threw a custard pie at Mr. Spock and he reprimanded you for not using something more nutritious?"