TOS Caption Contest #166: The Classics, Part 2

[Rat Boy]

Forget, because it's time for a new caption contest. First, let's shrug our shoulders at...

For pointing out a curious case of mammary migration, our dual winners are...

Spock: "Yeoman Rand, I can't help but notice that your left breast seems to be missing..."


.

Rand: "It's under my hair."

For the worst dance related illness since the crew contracted Boogie Woogie Fever, our winner is...

KIRK: What've I got, Bones?
BONES: Jazz hands, dammit. And there's no cure!

For the double entendre that I'm not entirely sure why it's dirty, our winner is...

Always the gentleman, Spock offers Zarabeth some finger food.


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For showing that smugness transcends different universes and different actors, our winner is...

KIRK: I'm in the wrong universe, aren't I?

MCCOY: Wrong universe. Wrong forum. Wrong contest.
I swear, they shouldn't let you newbs leave the waiting room with out a map!

Seriously, check out this video and you can see Chris Pine's channeling Shatner even when he's not playing Kirk. Finally, here's a special award for captioning an old Photoshop I did...

Kirk: "He's hopeless, Bones! Six hours of boxing lessons and this is the best I can get out of him!"

Congrats, folks. As I mentioned in the last thread, we'll be continuing the theme of reusing old caption contest images. Our first trip down memory lane dates back to February of 2007, where Spock gets the distinct feeling that he's being ignored. Our second hails from June of that year, where two separate Photoshops gave us Whiskey Lips Sulu and allowed George Takei to dispel a certain myth about Asian men. Finally, our last one comes from May of 2008, where a simple image involving a map devolved over the course of multiple Photoshops into the biggest hoedown in TOS Caption Contest history. Have fun with them:

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Don't worry about it. Since you have a name, the odds of you surviving this away mission have gone up by 50%."

Sulu: "Don't worry, I've got us covered."

Barrows: "With a starter's pistol?"

Vanderburg: "As you can see, the king is hidden somewhere here in the dungeon. I recommend you take two fighters, a wizard, and a thief with your party."

Kirk: "I can't believe we're LARPing Tunnels of Doom."

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"If I hear one more gay joke, so help me..."

"Aw shoot, and the kids really loved these baby Horta farms."

 

[jep]

Spock: "Now, is it perfectly clear what I will do to you if you ever rub Icy-Hot on my special custom fit bifurcated penis Vulcan underwear again?"


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[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "Curious, Dr McCoy clearly stated that the only cure for your depression would be a Jimmy Cagney impersonation. However it's efficacy is debatable. Nevertheless, I shall continue for now... You dirty rat!"

Barrows: "The way you're stroking that barrel and smiling, gives me the impression that shore leave isn't going to be as much fun as I hoped."

Vanderburg: "Trouble is, I'm colourblind. We lost twenty men until I figured out that the narrow tunnels are the dangerous ones. Still, live and learn."

 

[jep]

Barrows: "Geez... you're stroking that gun like it's a penis."

Sulu: "Uh, yeah.... say, how 'bout them Bears or other manly sports team????"

Barrows: "Oh give it UP, Nancy."


.

 

[jep]

"The blue areas represent the area of Kirk's intestines that will be completely clogged in 30 years.


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[Yeoman Randi]

Thanks RATBOY for the co-win! And thanks JEP for starting it with such a great caption! Now i really miss you keeping the scores!!! (note to self: get life)

Vandenburg: "Well, it says, 'You Are Here' but goddamn if i know where "here" is!"

 

[jep]

Kirk (Looking at table): "Wow. somebody's got a bad case of the purple balls."


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[M'Sharak]

Vanderberg: Let's check the map... aaaand nope, no Starbucks yet.
Kirk (thinking): Crap. Lousy day-old cafeteria coffee or just do without?
Vanderberg (upbeat): Could happen any day, though!

Sulu: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well,
to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "As Captain, I naturally should go first..."

Vanderburg: "You'll wait your turn boy-o, or it's a knuckle sandwich for you.


.

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Don't worry; it never goes off early."

*bang*

 

[Nerys Myk]

VANDENBERG: Who's up for a game of Dig Dug?

 

[Captain Crow]

Sulu: I love fondling big long black guns.

Spock: Can you speed up your lame ass story, Pal? I gotta take a shit that could choke a hores!

Kirk: How do we get there, Vanderburg?

Vanderburg: Simple. [pulls out map] You take the I-95 to the M-1, then M-7 to the Little Dipper off ramp, then you get off, then you get back on until you come to the Slauson Cutoff, get out of your car, cut off you Slauson, get back in your car, then drive six miles until you see the giant fire-breathing Conway Twitty Statue.

 

[jep]

Barrows: "Hey big fella, wanna put your gun in my holster?"


.

 

[jep]

Kirk, McCoy, Spock: "What the... ???"

Vanderburg: "Oh sure, it's easy for you to judge. But you have no what it's like to be
stuck on a rock in the middle of nowhere, the closest woman 10 parsecs away!!!"


.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Barrows: "Hey big fella, wanna put your gun in my holster?"


.

Sulu to man offscreen: "Hey big fella, want me to put my gun in your holster?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: I regret to inform you, ensign, that you'll be beaming down with the captain and I.
Garrovick: Well, it's been a good life.

Sulu: You've got to gently stroke the shaft...
Barrows: So that's what I've been doing wrong in my hand jobs.

Vanderburg: We've had this map drawn up for months now and I still can't find the fucking Orange Julius.
McCoy: But you can still smell those Mrs. Field's cookies from a mile away.

 

[jep]

Garrovick: "I'm sorry about my attitude Mr. Spock, it's just that... that... Mr. Sulu... well sir, he... put his gun in my holster."

Spock: "Ouch."


.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Sorry Mr. Spock, I'm just not in the mood tonight."