TOS Caption Contest #164: Soup's On!

[Rat Boy]

Lay off the munchies, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's gaze in stoned bewilderment at...

For showing the downside of season three's budget cuts, our winner is...

McCoy: "Missing walls aren't the half of it. Jim, did you know that there are no bathrooms? Hell, I had to piss in a half-empty bottle of whiskey."

<Kirk and Scott slowly put their glasses down, stare at them awkwardly>

For a moment in television we're all trying to forget, our winner is...

Hey Charles Napier! Be sure to mention this part in your future interviews! I say that knowing you won't!

(Why Charles? Embarrassed?)

Photoshops were hard to judge this week, with the likes of Worf, Britney Spears, the crew from Mass Effect, and that guy who cusses a lot from Deadwood all dropping by. Nevertheless, I waded through all the fun and games and narrowed it down to two:

MCCOY: What kind of bar did Sulu say this was?

Axl:
"So never mind the darkness,
we still can find a way.
'Cause nothing lasts forever,
even ultrasonic pain."


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Congrats, everyone. This week, it's food-themed. Our first pic has Mr. Kyle desperately trying to avoid having a debate as to whether or not that's a replicator. Second, a hobo warns Kirk and Spock about what's really in their soup. Enjoy:

I sense a lot of Photoshops coming...

 

[Rat Boy]

Air Force Sergeant: "How does it work?"

Kyle: "No time to explain. We actually have plots on this show instead of hours and hours of meaningless technobabble."

Kirk: "She's going to sing?"

Hobo: "Pray like hell she doesn't. Last time she did that, every cat in the Lower East Side jumped in the river."

 

[T'Girl]

Air Force Sergeant: "What's in the bowl?"

Chief Kyle: "Klingon aphrodisiacs."

Question - Who is gay on TOS?
Answer - Chief Kyle.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kyle: Care for today's lunch special? Cream of some young buck. I made the soup myself.

Hobo: Ellison didn't write this part.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I hope this is a burlesque show!"

Hobo: "Trust me, you don't."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Air Force Sergeant: "Does that thing make KFC?"

Kyle: "No that shit was banned when it was discovered one of the secret ingredients was Mountain Dew The anal glands of a beaver."

Kirk: "Nice ass!"

Hobo: "hey pal,that was your outside voice."

Hobo: (on other side of table) "Could you help out a 49er?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kyle: *snort* "I'm just messin' with ya, man. This isn't real chicken soup. It's just a holographic image. Suffer, bitch!"

Kirk: "What I wouldn't give for a good gust of wind right about now."

 

[Maurice]

KYLE: You'll eat your chicken soup, or no transporter for you, young man.

KIRK: What's that fine bit of tail's name?
NOT TROOPER: Edith Keister.
EDITH: That's "Keeler"!
KIRK: Not from where I'm sitting!

 

[T'Girl]

Kirk: "Nice ass!"

Hobo: "You don't get out much, do you?"

 

[Isis]

Bum (to Kirk): "Yah right, and I'm the President of Mars."

 

[Nerys Myk]

HOBO: That's Miss Keeler. She runs the place.

KIRK: Looks like Bones and the future are on their own, Spock.

 

[jep]

Air Force: "I don't really like soup all that much. Got anything else? What's that in your hand? Food?"

Kyle: "These? They're wafers... want to try them?"

(Air Force eats one of the wafers)

Air Force: "Wow, those taste great... what are they called?"

Kyle: "Soylent Green"


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[jep]

Bum: "I'm just saying, if she really wanted to help a guy out..."

Kirk: "I'm way ahead of you."



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[jep]

Kirk: "Paradise By The Dashboard Light!!!!"

Bum: "She doesn't take requests."

Kirk: "Did I ask you, Homeless Harry?"



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[jep]

Bum: "It's true, I did!!! All the way up to my elbow, with my fist clinched like this."


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[jep]

Kirk: "Jeez, when was the last time had a shower?"

Bum: "Let's see.... what year is it...?


.

 

[jep]

Bum: "You're lucky it's not Christmas. That's when she does her one man performance of 'A Christmas Carol'."


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[Nerys Myk]

KYLE: Or if you want we can head over to Hot Dog On A Stick. Rand will supersize your drink for free.

SGT. Wow, the future is amazing!

KYLE: Wait till you see the bowling alley.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Spock, we now have proof that McCoy has arrived and that he knows Edith Keeler."

Spock: "Indeed. McCoy's specialty: Ass Enhancement Surgery.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "I guess this was inevitable."

Spock: "It was the next logical manifestation of the phenomena, Captain."


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