TOS Caption Contest #164: Soup's On!

[jep]

Kyle: "You better get a few of them... Sulu knows you're here."


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[Jonas Grumby]

Sergeant: "Seventy-five cents each? You really are from the future!"

 

[jep]

Bum: "What do ya mean, funny? Let me understand this 'cause, I don't know, maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh... I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"

Spock: "Jeez.... who put the bug up his ass?"


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[jep]

Edith: "One day soon, man is going to create a form of communication known as the "Internet". And the men that create the Internet
will be able to find ways to feed the hungry millions of the world and to cure their diseases. They will be able to find a way to give each
man hope and a common future... and free porn."


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[Maurice]

Edith: "One day soon, man is going to create a form of communication known as the "Internet". And the men that create the Internet will be able to find ways to feed the hungry millions of the world and to cure their diseases. They will be able to find a way to give each man hope and a common future... and free porn."

SPOCK: Well, she got the porn part right.

 

[Isis]

Bum (to Kirk): "Put your eyes back in your head, Sonny. She's already completely booked. I'm glad to say I have the third Wednesday of every month, and Wilbur here has the second Tuesday."

 

[Isis]

Kyle: "I'm sorry. We're on the outs with the Soup Nazi and this is all we have."

 

[jep]

Air Force: "Great, first the weird guy and his black cat kidnap me and use anal probes on me, and now you guys come along and offer me soup? What is this, bad alien, good alien?"


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[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Hobo: She's a'right. But I like a bit more rump in my woman's trunk.
Spock: As do I.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "What's with the glass?"

Bum: "It keeps the horny bums away from her... but it isn't glass."

Kirk: "I know glass when I see it."

Bum: "Yeah, I thought I did too. But some guy wearing funny clothes showed up about two years ago,
screaming about assassins and murderers. Once he sobered up, he made the walls for her to repay her
kindness to him... and he said it was called 'transparent aluminum'."



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[M'Sharak]

Bum: The guy next to me? That's Wilford. Only talks about oatmeal and some other thing. Stutters, too.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BUM: Classic bait and switch. Edith drags them in, but it's Eleanor you get.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Hobo: The soup tastes much better than she does.

 

[Rat Boy]

Bum: The guy next to me? That's Wilford. Only talks about oatmeal and some other thing. Stutters, too.

Bum: "And what the hell is 'diabeetus,' anyway?"

 

[Mistral]

Kyle: "See, you put one of these things in the slot and it gives you an empty bowl and a spoon."

Air Force Sergeant: "And where do you get the food?"

Kyle: "Food? Are you kidding? This uniform used to be a tight fit..."

 

[jep]

And now to really mess with "reality":

Kyle: "You think you are worthy of our food, Zeon swine? Get your filthy hands up, so they touch nothing Ekosian!"


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[Gertch]

KYLE: "Everything on a space ship is recycled. Well except for the corn."

KIRK: "Who's the little woman?"

 

[jep]

Kirk: "I must say, I am really enjoying the way this appears to be heading."

Bum on the Right: "Boobies.... boobies.... boobies.... boobies....

Spock: "Sigh."


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[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kyle: Bourbon and beans. It's the doctor's explosive recipe.

 

[Isis]

Guard: "Plomeek? Can't say I've ever heard of it."