TOS Caption Contest #158: Bag of Cats Edition

[Santa Kang]

K'LETUS: I gotta pee.

KOR(under his breath): I told you to go on the ship

 

[Gil T.Azell]

All: [Thinking] Now I know where I was when my Diarrhea returned!

Kor: "You must take me as a fool Kirk. The affection Karibdis had for me was akin to that of a son for a father. He would never be a threat to my life.
!"
Kirk: "Then why is his gun pointed at you?"

 

[Captain Crow]

Fl'unkey: Captain you do know if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it?

Kor, grits teeth: I'm not playing with it. I'm shaking it in a manly warrior way.

Fl'unkey: Looks more like you're beating it because it owes you money.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Ok, who tuned the viewscreen into the 24 hour Sewer Planning Committee channel?"
Pike-ov: "I thought it vas the beg of kets chennel, honest..."

Kor: "I want you to take this... trader of kevas and trillium and subject him to the mind-sifter."
K'Letas: "By your command."
Kor: "I told you to cut that out!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk (off camera): "So that's where all of M.C. Hammer's pants ended up."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kor: "Fizzbin? Excellent! I've been playing Fizzbin since I was a little boy!"
Kirk (OS): "Oh, crap...'

 

[Santa Kang]

KOR: Boner?

KIRK: Thats "Baroner"

KOR: Check your tights.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "Conan thinks he can take on NBC and win? Bah!"

Shatner, Takei, Nichols, and faux-Hunter are still waiting to log into Star Trek Online.

 

[johcomp]

DePaul: Captain! I believe we have located Shatmandu......

Sulu: He appears to be attempting.....O my!

Uhuru: Captain, I'm frightened!

Kirk: O................MyGod!!!!!!!

 

[Mistral]

faux-Hunter: "I'm sorry, Captain! I must have hit the wrong button! I didn't mean to put the Caption Contest Waiting Room on the main viewscreen!"

 

[scottydog]

 

[scottydog]

 

[Santa Kang]

KIRK: So what's with K'leatus? I thought all you people had goatees and cheesey moustaches.

K'LETUS: That's racist!!!!!

KOR: Baroner, you will have to go thru Klingon Racial Sensitvity Training.

KIRK: Big deal. I get to sit through a lame lecture and DVD.

KOR: We are Klingons. (Smiles) It means K'leatus gets to beat you sensless.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

K'Letus: "You want me to catch that Vulcan?"
Kor: laughs like Muttley

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: "Sir, McCoy's colon-cam... your lower intestines..."

Uhura: "Captain... I'm afraid...."

Elvis: "I'm all shook up...."

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "...and this device will respond to any attack by immediately adding inches to the attacker's waist. Do you really think you have the twinkies for a prolonged fight?"

Sulu (gasping): "My God, the Cellulite Manuver."

 

[Santa Kang]

KIRK: I shouldn't have eaten that last corndog. I'm gonna hurl!

SULU: Battlestations!!!!!

 

[Isis]

Faux-Hunter: "Bill, you've really got to stop ticking people off. Last time it was Sarah Palin, and this time I can't make out the face yet, but I bet you 100 quatloos it's Richard Simmons."

 

[A beaker full of death]

I thought about giving it to A beaker full of death's homage to The Twilight Zone, but I must have been too distracted by his avatar.

I see no good deed goes unpunished. Hey, I brought the porn. That qualifies as a good deed.




Speaking of which....

Captain Kirk thought the outbreak of Ponn Farr fever was a lucky thing for him, until...

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: "They put an F-bomb in a Star Trek novel?"

Takei: "Oh my."

Nichols: "About fucking time. You know how much I've had to bite my goddamn tongue around here?"