Kirk vo: "Captain's log supplemental, after due consideration, and the sight of Uncontrollable Diarhhea McCoy walking out of the turbolift, putting his dentures back in, I have decided that a gloryhole on the bridge is a bad idea."
TOS Caption Contest #157: No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye ...
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Kirk vo: "Captain's log supplemental, after due consideration, and the sight of Uncontrollable Diarhhea McCoy walking out of the turbolift, putting his dentures back in, I have decided that a gloryhole on the bridge is a bad idea."
Khan: "This crewman of yours...Chekov was his name...when I ordered him to bring me some brandy, he told me I should stand up in bed, bend over, and back up onto this rather pointy device on the wall behind me!"
Chekov: "Keptin! Meester Sulu is giving me 'that look' again!"
Kirk: [muttering] "Where the hell is that coming from?
[listens intently] *There is is again*
[listens intently] It's coming from the gods damned ship!! That music is buried in the frakkin' ship!"
Kirk (thinking): Genetically engineered and superior intellect, my ass! Once he gets that injection he'll be a friggin' mu-tant just like the rest of us!
"Keptin, I look over my shoulder, Mr Sulu looks over his shoulder, do you?"
"Only when you're not looking Mister."
KHAN: This material, it is not Corinthian Leather.
KIRK: Bubblewrap.
KHAN: Then, that was not me.
Kirk: "...sixteen channels of gay porn as well. Oh, and the dildo is in the holder on the wall behind you."
Kirk: "Lt. Uhura, please contact Deck 14 and ask them to send someone up here with my hand."
KIRK: And these are our navigators: Bailey ...Farrell...Hadley...Riley...
Stiles...Latimer...DeSalle...Osborne...Painter... Leslie...Chekov
KHAN: Can't we do this later? I grow fatigued.
KIRK: No, this is important. Now, communications.
Sadly, the dick was not in the door, but rather lopped off instantly when the surprisingly sharp-edged doors slide shut, leaving Kirk momentarily stunned.
Meanwhile, on deck 12, waiting lift patronizers were greeted to a most disturbing surprise.
In a stunning retcon, Paramount Studios adds a deleted scene where, digitally added on the comptuer screen, Khan is shown Chekov's face for no appearent reason.
Though Berman is no longer part of Trek, when reached for comment, he was "Very pleased".
Sulu: "But ... I have to go to the bathroom."
Kirk: "You should have thought of that before we entered intergallatic space. You know damn well, mister, starships don't have toilets."
KIRK: So, its nighttime?
Casual Stardate FRiday's.
Khan: "Yes I knew her, but thats not Sarah Palin it's Lisa Ann"
Kirk: "Shut up guys one more UFO in asteroids and I break my record..."
Kirk finally knew what embarrassment was by walking into the door with a hard-on and breaking his nose
