TOS Caption Contest #152: Assignment: Mirth

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Shows you how smart I am: I thought the Janice Rand door plate shot would be a dud.

Another week nigh-impossible to judge. The best of the best, including two first time winners (Mysterion and Volphone_the-Fox), one poster getting his second-in-a-row Spock Award for a double-win (Nerys Myk), and another getting his unprecedented THIRD-in-a-row Spock Award for a double-win (captain crow), are:

Crowd: Are you the ovum?
<Kirk points to girl>

Kirk: You know, the extra fifty bucks for one-way glass isn't sounding so bad right about now...

"This sign is not logical," Spock thought, "Every man on board know's how to find this room!"

Kirk: What do you mean "weight limit exceeded"???

Janice knew that Spock was the only one who could decipher hexadecimals, and that he couldn't resist boyish hips...

McCoy: "Yeah, like THAT ain't gonna cause any problems!"
Spock: "...!"

Fat Kirk: Damn cheap set!

Great stuff. Very hard to whittle it down to these, there were so many worthy entries.

I'm going to break my new rule already and have three main shots and one oddball. This week's bits are:

(The above was nicely recommended by johcomp. Thanks much!)

And the oddball:

Do your worst.

Joe, oddball




TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (3x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik (2x)
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow (8x) *** THIRD SPOCK AWARD DOUBLE-WIN IN A ROW! HOLY SHIT!***
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (23x)
cultcross
Cuhl
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Deranged Nastat
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (14x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper (2X)
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (26x)
goldbug (3x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (3x)
highlander (12x)
Isis (2X)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Jeri
Johnnyracefan (2x)
John_Picard (4x)
Jonas Grumby (3x)
jptrekker (4x)
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby (2x)
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (10x)
Milo Bloom
Mistral (3x) *** BIG WINNER ***
Mojochi
Mr. Adventure
Mysterion ***FIRST TIME WINNER! ***
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (43x!) *** SPOCK AWARD DOUBLE-WINNER -- TWICE in a ROW***
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (47!x)
Redfern (2x)
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (27x)
Sector 7
seigezunt (4x)
Shatmandu (25x)
Shaw (4x)
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Sovay
SRFX
ssosmcin
Super Grover
Tallis Rhul
Tan Ru (2x)
T'Bonz (8x)
T'Girl (2x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith
The Badger (4x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (21x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (11x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Tribble (9x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Triskelion (29x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn (2x)
Volphone_the_Fox ***FIRST TIME BIG WINNER! ***
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Yeoman Randi (2x)
Zachery Smith

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"I swear I will choke the first person who comments on me stroking my pussy."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "'Black pussy' jokes have taken on an added weight lately, Captain."

Kirk: "Can this thing fix my pantlegs?"

Gus the Guard: "Kiss each other, and I'll let you go."

Miss Blonde: "President Johnson is on the phone. He'll stop the Vietnam war tomorrow if you don't release the album."

 

[UssGlenn]

Spock:"Why am I suddenly reminded of Lt. Uhura?"

Kirk: "How's that Windows upgrade going?"

Gary 7: "Not well"

 

[Alrik]

Spock: "I prefer them unshaved, why?"

Cop: "Freeze, Miami Vice."

Nimoy: "I'm sorry, it doesn't include 'Rocket Man', that's the other guy."

 

[Alrik]

Gary 7: "Not well"

You totally beat me to it. I didn't even get the chance to save the pic and shop it. Nicely played.

 

[backstept]

Gary 7: "Yes, this is the portable Home Version."

 

[Shatmandu]

Seven: "Not sure where the hell that's from ..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ROBERTA: Should I get the instruction book?

GARY 7: I know what I'm doing!!!

KIRK( thinking) We are so missing the kick off

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK (thinking): heh heh, secondbase

COP: You see a chick in a Genie costume come his way?

NIMOY: A little music to set the mood...

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "No, Mini-Me, we don't gnaw on our kitty."

Little did anyone know that Shatner and Nimoy sabotaged the Nielsen-o-tron 5000 to ensure there'd never be an Assignment: Earth spin-off.

Kirk: "Look, I told you that you should have picked a matching suit and a hat to go with it. Now you've pissed off the Fashion Police."

Nimoy: "The difference is that I can actually sing."

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for another bifurcated win Shatmandu

Gary Seven: By the year 1999 every house will have one of these 10 kilohertz, 2 byte memory, vacuum tube, super computers that use punch cards.

Gary Seven: Damn! I'm out of quarters.

Slocombe Spock: You are weak as water Jim. Weak as water!

 

[Rat Boy]

Slocombe Spock: "Bloody hell, it's Captain Peacock again. My arse can't take much more of this."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock, strumming, croaking: "Take care, young ladies, and value your wine ..."

Kirk, whispering: "He'll frisk you, and I'll jump him when he's distracted by your forked penis ..."

Nimoy: "Listening to this while we have sex is part of the interview process."
The Brunette: "Keep a straight face during both, and you're in."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Spock to Sulu. Good news for you. I have found Chinese food on the planet's surface."

Nimoy: "My musical anus is a feast for the ears. And nose."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: That milkman looks pissed.

Murray the Milkman: Who the fuck has been jizzing in my bottles?

[Kirk points at Spock]

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "I've collared the suspect. There is litter chance for escape."

Two guys, one cop.

 

[Nerys Myk]

NIMOY: So you drew that portrait of Spock and have my album?

BLONDE: Yes, we have copies of everything you've done, even "Zombies of the Stratosphere."

BRUNETTE: We're your biggests fans.

Noting the locked door,a chill runs down Nimoy's spine.

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock: It is a very talented pussy Captain.

 

[Botany Bay]

Thankyou to all for the best laugh of the week