TOS Caption Contest #151: Early Bird Special

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

What a great week. So many great posts to choose from.

The best, including a first-time winner and a slew of Spock Awards for double wins, were:

MCCOY: Your zipper's undone.
KIRK (looks down)
MCCOY: The other one.

Thanks to Scotty "Flashdance" was the only movie banned on all Federation starships.

McCoy: "Spock, why won't you lie down?"
Spock: "The Captain farted on my pillow."
McCoy: "I can guarantee you the Captain did not fart on your pillow."
<Spock lies down>
McCoy: "I'm the one who farted on it."
<Spock bolts back up>

On some days, Scotty felt like Sisyphos when working in the engine room.

Scotty's moonwalk left a lot to be desired.

Spock: Would you like some popcorn Doctor?

DOOHAN: You're on the wrong set!!

Terrific job, all.

This week's shots are a little higher on the difficulty scale:

And the wildcard is especially odd. Not sure what we can do with this one:

Have at it.

Joe, rakish

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (2x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik (2x)
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow (6x) *** SECOND SPOCK AWARD DOUBLE-WIN IN A ROW ***
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (23x)
cultcross
Cuhl
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Deranged Nastat
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (14x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper (2X)
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (26x)
goldbug (3x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (3x)
highlander (12x)
Isis (2X)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Jeri
Johnnyracefan (2x)
John_Picard (4x)
Jonas Grumby (3x)
jptrekker (4x)
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby (2x)
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (10x)
Milo Bloom
Mistral (2x)
Mojochi
Mr. Adventure ***FIRST TIME WINNER ***
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (41x!) *** SPOCK AWARD DOUBLE-WINNER ***
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (47!x)
Redfern (2x)
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (27x) *** BIG WINNER ***
Sector 7
seigezunt (4x) *** SPOCK AWARD DOUBLE-WINNER ***
Shatmandu (25x)
Shaw (4x)
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Sovay
SRFX
ssosmcin
Super Grover
Tallis Rhul
Tan Ru (2x)
T'Bonz (8x)
T'Girl (2x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith
The Badger (4x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (21x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (11x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Tribble (8x) *** SPOCK AWARD DOUBLE-WINNER ***
Triskelion (28x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Yeoman Randi (2x)
Zachery Smith

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "How was shore leave, Captain?"
Kirk: "Check the Transporter's VD filter."
Spock, after fiddling with controls: "Indeed."

Front Row, Green: "Is it an Earth tradition to yell 'BOOYA!' during ejaculation?"

Passerby: "Fewer men have come out of comas than out of there."

 

[Shatmandu]

The font is roughly Arial Narrow, by the way ...

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Ready to transport "Evil Kirk", Mister Spock?

SPOCK: Controls set for wide dispersal, Doctor.

KIRK: Wha...?

KIRK: Mummenschanz?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "You know, Bones, the way this light shines up from the floorpad, and those short little skirts on the women's uniforms, I was just thinking...with a strategically concealed mini-cam..."

McCoy: "Oh, for Christ's sake, Jim, will you grow up!"

Kirk: "I don't care what the customs are on your planet, I am not boinking you in front of your whole damned family!"

3C 46: Standard Starfleet radio code for "Three Chairs, No Waiting."

 

[scottydog]

Thanks for the win!

Kirk: "Why are you beaming me into space?"

Spock: "Look at my hair. Because you left another one of your ejaculate stains on my pillow."

McCoy: "And because you didn't leave one on mine."

Kirk: "I hate visiting the Gaypajama Planet."

Kirk: "Get the video equipment ready, gentlemen. Prepare yourself for 46 women, 3 cups."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: You can't all be THX 1138.

 

[Triskelion]

Crowd: Are you the ovum?
<Kirk points to girl>

Kirk: Very funny, Spock. And now the left one too, if you don't mind.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Have a good time at the Jonathan Archer Museum."
Kirk: "He was my childhood hero."

Kirk: "Requests? Sure, what'll it be, folks? You look like a Rusty Trombone crowd ..."

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for the bifurcated win Shatmandu.

Kirk: Is this picture suppose to be some arty representation of sperm?

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHATNER: Maybe it was better that we don't see the audience at these test screenings.

 

[Mysterion]

Tom Bodett (VO): Motel 3C 46...she'll leave the light on for you.

 

[Shaw]

Kirk: Those TrekBBS people are sure crippy lookin'.

 

[Mysterion]

Kirk: You know, the extra fifty bucks for one-way glass isn't sounding so bad right about now...

 

[26138]

Kirk: What do you mean "weight limit exceeded"???

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "If I'm not back in two hours, beam down a bottle of champagne."

Kirk: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What kind of guy do you think I am? I never do it in front of an audience!"

That's not her room number; it's her measurements.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Crowd; "Shake the ship, see if they fight!"

Now screening, "Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask, in the 22nd Century!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Call Scotty, there's something wrong with the transporter. Everytime I beam up, I gain two pounds."

McCoy: "Yeah right Jim, that's how it happens."

Spock: "Lardass!"

Tannoy: "Mmghh nrmphh grrrnnn Northern Line. Grb sssnn ghtsss Mornington Crescent. Move right down inside the carriages please."


[I swear that's my commute on a good day. Normally you wouldn't be able to travel on the Underground unless you were very comfortable with your sexuality]

From inside cabin: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Passerby: "New batteries for the substitute Captain, I hear."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk; "I'm not that hungry, let's move onto the lobster tank."

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "What the heck? Her prices have doubled since yesterday!"

Spock: "It was a most... inopportune time for you to have explosive diarrhea, doctor."

Spock: "Disappointing that there is no bifurcation discount, but no one gives heads like she does."