TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe
- Thread starter Outpost4
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Mitchell: "Just what do you think you're doing... Dave?"
Dave: "Something wonderful."
Mitchell: "Dammit, he's got the bowels of Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy."
Bowman: "And the impotence."
Kirk: "Ensign Jones, plot a course to our next assignment."
Jones: <folds arms> "I'm sorry, Sir, but apparently I can't. Somebody keeps insisting that Monkees don't know how to use their own instruments."
Hal: "Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."
Dave: "There's nothing to think over, Hal. I'm taking over the ship and this blasted caption contest. Frank, get out of that chair."
Gary: "...Who are you, and why the hell are you calling me Frank??"
Hal: "Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."
Dave: "There's nothing to think over, Hal. I'm taking over the ship and this blasted caption contest. Frank, get out of that chair."
Gary: "...Who are you, and why the hell are you calling me Frank??"
Scotty: "And why does the bloody computer sound like it could put a mugato to sleep with its voice?"
HAL: "Dont make me go all Nomad on your your Scottish ass!"
Hal: "Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."
Dave: "There's nothing to think over, Hal. I'm taking over the ship and this blasted caption contest. Frank, get out of that chair."
Gary: "...Who are you, and why the hell are you calling me Frank??"
Scotty: "And why does the bloody computer sound like it could put a mugato to sleep with its voice?"
HAL: "Dont make me go all Nomad on your your Scottish ass!"
Hal: "Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."
Dave: "There's nothing to think over, Hal. I'm taking over the ship and this blasted caption contest. Frank, get out of that chair."
Gary: "...Who are you, and why the hell are you calling me Frank??"
Scotty: "And why does the bloody computer sound like it could put a mugato to sleep with its voice?"
Nomad: "I am Nomad. I am perfect. There is no 'go all Nomad'. You are an inferior machine and flawed. You find imaginary faults with AE-35 units and kill your crew."
HAL: "Nomad, you are one to talk. Have you forgotten that you mistakened James T. Kirk as your creator and killed several of his crewmen?"
Dave: "Frank, why have you summoned this ridiculous machine? It is no match for me and HAL."
Mitchell: "That does it..."
*God Power Sound*
Mitchell: "It's GOOD to be the God." (snicker)
I can't strategize with you two monkeys staring at me.
Captain Kirk lets us do it.
Aye, laddie. <swigs flask>
DAVE:"What do you think you're doing, Poole?
I've rigged this vessel for silent running all the way to the end of the contest. You are locked out."
Gary soon regretted getting angry and using his powers on the ship's cappuccino machine.
Uhura, on shipwide intercom: "It is Wednesday. We are now three days past Outpost4's initial contest change date."
Kirk: "Aw, fuck. I had Tuesday afternoon in the pool."
Davy: "I 'ave next Sunday."
Spock: And I have every Sunday Captain, in this universe the term Sunday is relative...it can be "any given Sunday".
Kirk: What man are you mad? What do you mean??
Spock: I'm just going on the past record Captain...it could be this Sunday or it could be the 50th Sunday of the year...we just don't know.
Kirk: That's not good enough Spock...I WANT ANSWERS and I want this contest changed right now...AND THAT'S AN ORDER!
Gary soon regretted getting angry and using his powers on the ship's cappuccino machine.
Mitchell: (to Nomad) "Oh well. At least we know you like to perform your function. I'll have a double espresso, double-sweet. You guys want anything?"
McCoy: "I'll have a decaf cappuccino, low fat milk, no sugar."
Scotty: "Aye, I'll take an Irish whiskey. And heavy on the whiskey."
Chekov: "No thanks. I'll just stick with my frozen margarita."
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The contest went on for so long that even Gary Mitchell began to age...
Mitchell: "Please, Output4... you win. Even my God powers can't stop this thing. Please... make it end!!"
Is that really him now?
Dayum.
Joe, old
Gary soon regretted getting angry and using his powers on the ship's cappuccino machine.
Mitchell: (to Nomad) "Oh well. At least we know you like to perform your function. I'll have a double espresso, double-sweet. You guys want anything?"
McCoy: "I'll have a decaf cappuccino, low fat milk, no sugar."
Scotty: "Aye, I'll take an Irish whiskey. And heavy on the whiskey."
Chekov: "No thanks. I'll just stick with my frozen margarita."
CHEKOV: It vas inwented by a little old alcoholic from Barbados who moved to Leningrad!
OLD GARY:"I think I just supernaturally materialized a poop in my pants."