TOS Caption Contest #129 - Time

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Actually I think it's my first time resurrecting that decrepit gag. I should have used it on that Alexander pic a few compos ago, but still. Spocky the Vulcan Kangaroo will have to do.

Sorry. I should have know it was Rat Boy instead.

I think somebody else used it, too. Maybe it was Nerys Myk. And I'm with Joe. If I couldn't post old jokes, I'd have no jokes at all.

I find that switching the word "penis" for the word "fart," and vice-versa, opens a lot of doors.

Joe, flexible

Crewman Edison didn't know what hit him when Spock unzipped his bifurcated fart.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"DAMNED accelerated aging disease..."

SPOCK:"MOST tragic."

McCOY:"Y'know the worst part? I went to the bathroom at 0300, 0420, 0455 AND 0617 hours this morning...

and I didn't even WAKE UP until 0700!!"

 

[Outpost4]

That's an old joke:

Three guys are comparing their regrets about growing old. The first one says, "You know what I miss? Every morning, right at 6 AM, I used to get up and take a world-class piss. That strong pee was one of my favorite parts of the day. Now it sort of dribbles out instead."

The second guy goes, "What I miss is my morning dump. Seven o'clock every morning, I'd sit on the toilet and take a solid crap. Nothing feels better than a good morning dump. I can't do that any more. Little runny poops are the best I can manage."

The third guy replies, "I don't have your guys problems. 6 AM, right on schedule, I take a long, good piss. 7 AM, like clockwork, it's a time for a satisfying crap. My problem is I can't get out of bed until 8 AM."

 

[cooleddie74]

Spock had the blue tag ball.

But Crewman Skippy was never told he was supposed to be "it."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Old jokes? Are you sassin' us, boy?"

Spock: "Doctor, that is not Outpost4."

McCoy: "You stay out of this, Gertch!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "... and the Invisible Man says, 'I don't know, but my butthole is killing me.' <wheezes a laugh>"
Kirk: "I thought it was Chicken Pot Pie day."
Spock: "To have The Invisible Man in a joke with two characters from the DC Universe is illogical."
McCoy: "Aw, you two can go fuck yourselves ..."

 

[Gary7]

Crewman: (muttering to himself) "What the... the pool water is at 100 degrees again? I'm sick of Spock and his Vulcan tolerance for heat. I'm just gonna turn it down a bit and--"

 

[Shatmandu]

Crewman: "Seems a bit elaborate to make the Captain's bed vibrate, but here we are."

 

[Gary7]

Crewman: "I'm sick of being on laundry duty. I think I'll turn up the heat on Spock's load and cause a little shrinkage (hehehehee)".

 

[Rat Boy]

Leslie: "Shhhhhh! Keep quiet or they might replace us with old people."

 

[Shatmandu]

<Sulu walks in, smiles and nods at Mr. Leslie, and enters restroom.>
Leslie: "Pardon me, I've got to take a piss."

 

[Rat Boy]

<Sulu walks in, smiles and nods at Mr. Leslie, and enters restroom.>
Leslie: "Pardon me, I've got to take a piss."

Chess-playing gold shirt guy: "I always wondered why Leslie has such a wide stance."

 

[Gertch]

Spock could smell what the Rock was cooking and had to put an end to it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Spock knew there was an illegal party going on somewhere and he was going to find it.

 

[26138]

Spock sneaks out of the head after leaving a duke in the urinal.

 

[tharpdevenport]

McCoy: "And you smack 'em like this again and again."

Kirk: "And you said you say 'fap, fap, fap'?"

MCCoy: "Yes. Hey -- what are you doing under there?!"

 

[Rat Boy]

The makeup budget on Star Trek VI went through the roof.

 

[NathanielM]

McCoy: Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a vulcan.

Kirk: And thank god too, we'd have two walking computers around here.

 

[Triskelion]

There's...something different about you Bones. But damned if I can figure it out.

 

[Outpost4]

Has somebody been doing mushrooms?