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TOS Caption Contest #129 - Time

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McCoy: "Nurse, I think I just crapped myself again!"

Kirk: "Someone mind wheeling me to another table?"
 
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Kirk: "You know what they say Bones .....A Spock in the hand is worth two in the bush."
Bones: "Is that a bifurcated penis joke?"
 
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McCoy: "Dammit, Jim. Space just isnt as classy since The Borrowers were admitted to Starfleet!"

Kirk: "(Breaths in) Thank god for that Bones... I thought someone had put LDS in the Cheese puffs again!"
 
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LESLIE:"You know...I just realized something.

I've had sex with five of the people in this room."
 
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"The nurse on the Third Floor keeps eyein' me funny when she changes my colostomy bag, Jim...I think she wants a taste o' the ole Southern mint julep!"
 
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McCoy: They say on your way down you run into the same little people you ran into on your way up.
 
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Kirk: "I think now people would understand if you started crapping your pants, Bones."

McCoy: "Too late."
 
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Tiny Spock On McCoy's Shoulder: "Here's some logic for you, asshole. <smashes pink chunk into McCoy's ear, then kicks him in jaw>"


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McCoy: "Jim, thirty of them watched me have sex with Uhura last night."
Kirk: "Yikes."
McCoy: "They shouted out things in those tiny little voices of theirs: <pitched higher> 'Faster!' 'Smack her ass!'"
Kirk: "No shit?"
McCoy: "One claimed to be bigger than my penis and offered to step in and take over."
Tiny Spock on Kirk's Shoulder: "'Claimed?'"



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McCoy: "There used to be five tiny Spocks."
Kirk, shifting in seat: "Found him."
 
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Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: My nickname's not so funny now, is it Captain poopy pants?
 
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McCoy: He's gone too far!
Kirk: Bones, calm down.
McCoy: He's making us eat Lemon Cubes because he thinks it will make us think more logically!


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Spock: Crewman Wilson, I believe you failed to eat your dinner.



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Leslie: Do you think if we smile a lot they'l invite us to the cool kids table?
 
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Spock decided to take Kirk's approach to the Kobyashi Maru test, but first he had to incapacitate the simulator programmer.
 
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Kirk: "Funny, it's been twenty minutes and the Viagra hasn't kicked in."

*slam*

Kirk: "There it goes."
 
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