TOS Caption Contest #127 - Very Strange New Worlds

[Outpost4]

Kirk: "Looks like I have a little problem."

Kirk: "I hope you don't think I'm belittling you in any way."

Kirk: "I know you're probably feel a little shortchanged."

Kirk: "It's understandable you look up to me."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "I shall call him... Mini-me"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "You got a sweet, sweet ass, boy. You should appreciate the grabs."

Kirk: "Look, pee-wee: I've got a lot of shit to do today, but I'll be glad to add 'Beat the shit out of a midget' to my list, if I have to."

 

[Lashmore]

"Spock...look...he's got wood."

 

[Lashmore]

"I'm not joking little fella...there's a snake behind you."

 

[Lashmore]

"And we thought starfleet had bad fashion sense...that's original BSG Baltar on drugs!"

 

[Tan Ru]

Kirk: "Ho, ho, ho."

Alexander: WTF Santa?? You're like two months late dude!! And WHY are you all green anyway? You got the clap again??

 

[Tan Ru]

Shatner: Wait a minute, 'lemme get this straight: The term "Midget" is no longer applicable? All of you would now prefer the term "little people"??? REALLY??? Dude, are you serious? I mean, "little people" makes it sound as if we're referring to frickin' leprechauns and elves forkristsake! This is a joke right? I cannot believe that anyone would prefer "little people" over "midget". C'mon now! Use a little common sense, will ya? Oh man..........now you're just being silly..........<grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble etc.............>

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I hope you don't think I'm belittling you in any way."

Kirk: "I know you're probably feel a little shortchanged."

Kirk: "It's understandable you look up to me."

Kirk: "I can see why you'd be a little cautious."

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk: Dammit!!! I knew that seafood was "off" at the welcome banquet. Now you listen here little mister, I didn't force you to eat that whole shrimp platter (kirk snickers) , so don't try to blame me for your unbridled gluttany.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "How do you know I fucked your Orion girlfriend?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I know you're probably feel a little shortchanged."

Kirk: "It's understandable you look up to me."

Kirk: "I can see why you'd be a little cautious."

Kirk: "Feeling a little low today?"

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Great, another round of 'spin the midget' and I'm it. I refuse to kiss Parmen!!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Hey Short Round, where's your hat?"

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "It's understandable you look up to me."

Kirk: "I can see why you'd be a little cautious."

Kirk: "Feeling a little low today?"

Kirk: "Let me guess: You're a fan of Tiny Tim."

 

[Gary7]

Alexander: "Captain, I'm really hungry! Please... just a little slice off your thighs. I need my protein!"

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "I'm sorry mister, but I don't belong on your dinner plate. I don't belong on your planet at all!"

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: (singing in his style)

"Do you... really want... to hurt me? Do you... really want... to make me... cry?"

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk: Sorry little man..... you can threaten me all you want, but only us big boys get to wear this macho laurel wreath atop our heads.

 

[Shatmandu]

Alexander: "Blame your farts on me again. BLAME YOUR FARTS ON ME AGAIN! <knife shakes>"

Kirk: "You are cute when you're angry."
<Alexander swipes at Kirk with knife.>
Kirk: "Hey, jeez, c'mon ..."
<Kirk grabs knife, pulls it away, spins Alexander, and kicks him in the ass to offscreen.>
<Kirk follows, kicking and grinning.>