TOS Caption Contest #127 - Very Strange New Worlds

[Mistral]

"The check-out line said 'Ten items or less' . We take that very seriously around here!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Herr Flick: "Your Happy Trail intrigues me, barbarian."

Kirk: "You cut me with that, and I'll beat your tiny little ass, fucker."

Kirk: "Look, I'm sorry I kissed the one you wanted. But believe me, you'll get your turn with her ..."

Kirk: "Widdle gwumpy-wumpy has a widdle milky-wilky on his cheeky-weeky ..."
Alexander: "I'LL CUT YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF, MOTHER-FUCKER!!!! <rushes Kirk>"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Ho, ho, ho."

 

[Mistral]

"Don't call me Garth! The name is Glitter-Gary Glitter!"

 

[Mistral]

"Ok, Cool Eddie, your captions were funnier and they should have won! But why do you keep calling me 'Outpost4'?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I'll address your concerns, but first, let me pick up the one leg of Spock's penis you cut off over there ..."

Garth: "You'd think a coat made from Marta's pubic hair would be gaudy, but here we are ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Alexander: "Since I'm short, I'm in the perfect place to cut off your dick."

Kirk: "I'll give you whatever you want."

 

[Shatmandu]

<Herr Flick struts closer and licks Kirk's sweaty chest.>
Kirk: "Maybe Captains shouldn't go on so many landing parties ..."

Kirk: "<out side of mouth to Spock> This better be the best Valentine's Day present you've ever been given. <then, nodding forward, louder> Okay, go ahead, Scotty ..."

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "Hold on just one damn minute!!! They told me Rabbi Gornstien was going to do my circumcision."

 

[highlander]

WOOO HOOO Double digits!!!!!! Thanks Outpost4!!!!

Kirk: "Weren't you in Willow? I love that fuckin movie."

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "I told you we should have gone to San Francisco, but nooooo. You said Berlin would be more fun."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Spock, whatever you do, don't ask for a waxing. These guys are like Nazis, man!"

Spock: *sigh*

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Kirk: No, this is not what it looks like.
Spock: Yes, it is, Captain
Kirk: (turning red) Spock!

The short ones are always the most dangerous...

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Anyone else hot?

KIRK: Bad! Bad Alexander!

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Niiiice circumcision."

 

[Cakes488]

Everyday is Mardi Gras at the Elba II insane asylum!

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk was staring death down straight in the face. He astutely noticed a pipe to the right of the perpetrator and intended to "lay some pipe" on him...with the pun fully intended.

 

[Gertch]

It slowly dawned on Kirk that it was Mr Midget, with the knife, in the living room.

 

[Rat Boy]

Major Hochstetter: "Yes, you two will do nicely for General Burkhalter."

 

[Gertch]

"Und It rubbed the lotion on it's skin already!"

Just after it rolled off his tongue Kirk realized he had Godwin'd the Caption thread.