TOS Caption Contest #122 - Into the Arena

[scottydog]

Gorn: "This is Cobb Mountain, and it's mine."
Kirk: "Hmm, that means you're Gorn on the Cobb."

You don't like that? How about this one:

Gorn: "There aren't enough resources here for both of us."
Kirk: "You kidding? There's a gornucopia of plenty."

 

[Civil Shadow]

Sarek: Excuse me gentlemen, but your fight is interrupting my newborn son's meditations.

Lt. Fredersen was less than enthusiastic about going down to Mudd's planet of female robot clones.

 

[Shatmandu]

Starfleet's first mutiny was almost caused by overuse of the old "Pull My Finger" joke.

 

[Shatmandu]

Gorn: "My 'Gassss, Grassss, or Assss: Nobody Rides for Free' bumper sticker was not a joke, pal."

 

[Outpost4]

Ninety seconds later Kirk wasn't wearing any pants...and not by his choosing.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Captain, I modified ship's sensors to reveal who has been doing the ... 'cropdusting.'"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "No, no, no! It's turn, pivot, dip, pivot, turn! We're going to keep doing it until you all get it right!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Bill: "Hey dude, like I've totally possessed the fat guy with the wig."
Ted: "Dude, I'm a big gnarly lizard."
...

...

...
Both: "Excellent!" air guitar

 

[Triskelion]

Alright! Alright! I'll try your Brown Betty. Sheesh.

Kirk: ...and on the pod bay door handle - was a bloody hook!
Spock: What happened to the monkey?
Kirk: What monkey?
Spock: The one in the beginning. With the bone.
Scott: Bloody hell, he doesn't get it.
Sulu: I'm outta here.
<everybody leaves>
Spock: I mean did they make him the alpha monkey, or what?

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "Did the sparkly young man in the dress mention my name at all?"

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk, quietly: Let's not talk about Lt. Leslie.
Uhura: Definitely, we won't talk about Leslie.
Sulu: No Leslie.
McCoy: Definitely not Leslie.
Leslie: Come on, are you guys talking about me?
Kirk: No, Mr. Leslie, we certainly aren't talking about you. <snicker>

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Okay, the joke's over. Ha ha, very funny and all that. Now where's my command chair."
Scott: "Where did yae last leave it Captain?"
Kirk: "Enough! I expect better of a Starfleet crew, I'm taking names, so watch that lip. Where's my damned chair!"
Navigator mumbles: "Lardass probably broke it."
Kirk: "I heard that, what's your name."
Spock: "Don't tell him Pike."
Kirk: "Pike, your name is top of the list of suspects."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: All right, it's bigger. It's bigger. Jeez, I know you can grow another, but you didn't have to break it off just to prove your point.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"How the hell was I supposed to know a styrofoam boulder would HURT?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Nun says same as in town?

Accch, sir. I just don't bloody get it."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "With the significant levels of methane coming from the area, I suspect there is life on the seat of your pants."

Gorn: "If my teenaged daughter usesss the hottub, it isss no busssinesss of yourssss, INVADER."

 

[cooleddie74]

GORN:"Your wallet, bitch!"

KIRK:"Sorry. I gotta apologize.

Had the Five-Alarm Texas Chili last night."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Would it kill you to trim those toenails?

Sheeeeesh. Warp drive and sophisticated weapons...and you people walk around looking like guitar picks."

 

[Shatmandu]

Gorn: "We haven't had that 30-Minute Guarantee thing for a while, now, dude."

 

[Nerys Myk]

GORN: You sssscream like a little girl!

KIRK:Shut up! I wasn't screaming like a little girl!!!!