TOS Caption Contest #122 - Into the Arena

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk struggled to remember the agreed upon "safe word"

KIRK: Why didn't anyone tell me Captain Pike was on board?

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk:...and we could turn this console into a DJ station and have a dance floor up here - look at all the room!

 

[Outpost4]

You do not want to participate in a Gorn bris.

Even a force field couldn't save you at a Ozzy Osborne concert.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Lengthy absence huh? Well it wasn't through lack of trying. I guess no one got the jokes but me

Kirk: "So what do you think, a casual lean back like this, an upright pose, or leaning forward?"

Spock: "I beg to differ sir, the Enterprise does not need a hood ornament."

Gorn: "Congratulations friend, you just hired the A-Team"

Getting a blowjob from an Organian could just ruin your whole day.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Who the hell is this guy standing next to Uhura?"

Spock: "His name is Shatmandu. This is his new job."

 

[Outpost4]

^ Leslie: What? A new guy at navigation? And I'm stuck back here? This starship sucks!

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Shatner: Your zipper's showing.

 

[Outpost4]

Ensign Thomas Edison reinvents the light bulb.

 

[Triskelion]

How do you rip your tunic without it falling off?

Kirk: It's the new Captain's Mojo for Men. Why do you ask?

At least I now have a cover for voiding my bowels in my pants.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Look, I'm sorry; I didn't know the Creature from the Black Lagoon was your girl."

*At the end of Star Trek XI*

Pike: "Wait a minute; they're making you captain? Over me? What are you, like twenty?"

Only latrine on the whole planet and it was protected by a force field.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Spock: I fail to grasp the logic of having a donkey show on the bridge.

McCoy: Son, you don't have to understand it to enjoy it.

 

[Mistral]

The crew looked on in shock as Kirk hit on the navigator. Sulu was particularly upset-he's had some designs of his own.

 

[M'Sharak]

I guess cooleddie74 is the funniest guy here this week.

eddie's funny pretty often. It's just that a lot of the time, your brain is off looking for the bleach immediately afterward.

As for our other winners, M'Sharak takes home the honors for a second week in a row...

Thanks!

O'Herlihy couldn't believe he ate the whole thing.

"Excuse me - is this Creature from the Black Lagoon: the Musical?"
"Nooooo. That sssssshow hasssss not opened yet. Come back in
Ssssspring; I will be mercy-foollll."

"As it turned out, I wasn't able to make it. I was all tied up at the time."
[fade in humourous music cue, as crew groans]

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wait a minute, this isn't merciful or quick at all!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock: "Yes, Captain. Gorn in sixty seconds."

"That pun... too... awesome..."

Where will you be when pan-dimensional, hyperparabolic diaharrea strikes?!

"Remember me as... willing cannon fodder."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Unknown extra; "But, that was my bike."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Fine!! FINE!!!

I'll pay back the used car loan!!!"

The Enterprise crew had never seen the survivor of an all-rubber and -velour deathmatch before.

Ensign Ricky never learned the first rule of messing with downed power lines.

Will YOU?

 

[cooleddie74]

"Dang.

Penalties for jaywalking on this planet are stiff."

 

[Mistral]

"Look, either you tell me how to get to the 405 from here or I drill you with this thing!"

"But I don't know how to get to the 405! I'm from Iowa!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Look, I'm SORRY I said your eyes didn't start blinking until recently!!!"