TOS Caption Contest #117 - Feet Don't Phallus Now

[Outpost4]

One thing about my being a Green Bay Packers fan is that I became one thirty years ago, when Lynn Dickey was our quarterback and Bart Starr was our coach. The Packers may suck this year but we don't suck as much as we did back then. Being a Packers fan builds patience.

Last week we had a new crop of funny folks, people not normally in the winners circle. In fact, it was Nebusj's first win, Alyssa's second, with highlander the accomplished veteran with his fourth win. Way to go, all of you. Keep the old farts relegated to the sidelines. I like that.

The Miss Enterprise Pageant drew in a great crowd, unfortunately no one mentioned that Spock was the host.

This is the precise moment that Jim realized there was a control collar around his testicles as well.

``No, seriously, what are we filming next week? Not that the `Spock's Brain' script isn't a riot ... ''

This next week's pics were submitted by Shatmandu (you'll know which one) and Rat Boy (the bonus pic). That leaves me precious little to do, which is just fine by me. That's when I'm at my best.

Anybody want to make an over/under prediction on "dick jokes" for this week's contest?


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa

Plus one this time for a total of 2!
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (18x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (10x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (5x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (3x)

Plus one this time for a total of 4!
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard (2x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nebusj

First Time Winner!
Nerys Myk (21x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (15x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (30x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (17x)
Sector 7
Shatmandu (19x)

Sir Rhosis (2x)
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (13x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (10x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Wallace: You're supposed to take it out of the wrapper first?

Kor: Get your lines right, Kirk, or I'll find someone else to play Hamlet!

Spock: We seemed to have put on each other's shirt.
Sulu: That's not all we exchanged.

 

[Turbo]

Kelley: We're redressing props with tinfoil now? What is this, Doctor Who?

Kor: ...And that should distract the Organians long enough for us to blow them and then each other to bits.
Kirk: It's a good plan, Kor, but where are we going to get that many albino dancing monkeys?

Spock: Jim! What are you doing here?

 

[Outpost4]

Wallace: It's a Charlie Brown Christmas, Dr. McCoy.

 

[Turbo]

Spock's rapid aging produced one or two side effects that required rather extreme measures to deal with.

 

[Outpost4]

Kor: Clearly the injector manifolds are not covered under warranty. You are responsible for the repair. Pay the cashier.

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: Let's run, Sulu. It's the velour police!

 

[Turbo]

Kor: I did not see this provision before the treaty was signed.
Kirk: Neither did I. Why do I get the feeling someone's playing with us? I suppose we'd better get it over with. Strip.
Spock: (hidden, with a videocamera) Councillor Ayelborne, I believe I owe you an apology. I did not think this plan would work so well.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "And now, my lovely assistant will demonstrate how to properly apply a condom...using only her mouth."

Wallace: "WHAT?!"

Kirk: "These words, and the words that follow, were not just written for the Yangs, but for the Kohms as well!"

Kor: "Wrong planet, idiot."

Spock: "Christine?! This isn't how it looks."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "'Feet Don't Phallus Now?' That sounds familiar."

Kor: "He used almost the exact same title a year ago."

 

[Outpost4]

Wallace: Are you cracking the same old jokes, Doctor?
McCoy: How many times do I have to tell you, Dr. Wallace? There is no such thing as a new joke!


EDIT: A few weeks ago, I almost repeated a bridge picture that I used about a year ago. I knew it looked familiar.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "The BCS computer has finished its calculations. Go inform the people of the bowl game line-up, Baroner."

 

[Mistral]

Kor: "...so it will cost you a cool million to keep that photo...hidden."

Kirk: "It's a bit blurry. That could be anyone with the Gorn."

 

[Captain Zog]

Wallace: This is what you treat your female patients with, Doctor?

Kor: Ah Jaysus, Bill. Will you learn your bloody lines in future?

Sulu: Let's never talk of this again.
Spock: That would be most wise.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I told you to get me a prop from the ORIGINAL Wizard of Oz, not the porno remake!"

Kirk: "Look, I only had two refills of my beer."

Kor: "Bullshit!"

Spock: "Fascinating."

Sulu: "Oh, my."

 

[Mistral]

Spock: "Mr. Sulu-I'm male. I don't have breasts."

Sulu: "I don't like breasts, Mr. Spock. Or females, for that matter. Now let's get out of here before someone-oh, hello Mr. Scott. No, just checking his rotater cup. Why?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I don't care how your back feels, Mr. Scott. The sign says Lift 7 and we're lifting seven people!"

 

[Outpost4]

Kor: It's the Sombreroprise. Don't ask.

 

[26138]

Kirk: It says here that the Organians want us both to do nude jumping jacks... wait a minute, have they been talking to Bones lately?

 

[scottydog]

*transporter effect begins on penis*
McCoy: "No, Nurse! That's not what I meant when I asked if you knew the best way to make an erection disappear!"

Kirk: "I see in this report, and by your posture, that the giant dick was beamed up your ass."

Kor: "They aren't called the Organians for nothing."