TOS Caption Contest #116 - Not Just the Packers Choke
- Thread starter Outpost4
- Start date
Jim was never warned about the dangers of choking oneself while masturbating.
If Matt Cassell is a Star Trek fan, this is the nightmare he had Sunday night.
Kirk, offscreen: "The nude jumping jacks must be completed thusly. <begins>"
McCoy, under breath: "I created a monster ..."
Nimoy: "Nah, De, this script for 'Night of the Lepus' is terrific. You should definitely bankroll and star in it someday ..."
McCoy: "Don't blame yourself for Jim's death when the Defiant faded away, Scotty."
Scotty, softly, nodding: "Aye."
McCoy: "Blame your ineptitude at Transporter maintenance and emergency procedures. <stands, storms off>"
OR: Porthos' Revenge
As much as the chili burned going in, Kirk knew it would be worse coming out.
Director: "Cut! Cut! Nichelle, the band is around your throat, you dumbass."
McCoy, whispering: "I call dibs on that stone head in Jim's quarters."
Scotty: "As long as I get his little black book."
Kirk, eulogizing: "Though it is our first instinct, we should not blame this untimely death on the gerbils ..."
Scotty: "Leg cramp?"
McCoy: "I always get them after fucking too much."
Scotty giggles.
Fiery Habanero Doritos
Even a slave on a distant planet can't resist 'em.
SCOTTY:"Know the worst thing, Doctor?"
McCOY:"What?"
SCOTTY:"I never got a chance to tell the Captain I liked how his ass looked in those new service trousers. FINE set o' Midwestern hamhocks."
McCOY:"Never speak to me again."
The new Apple I-CHOKE was not the big hit that C.E.O. Steve Jobs IX hoped it would be.
It had been so busy lately in sickbay, McCoy took any opportunity he could to catch up on the crew's proctology exams.
And some special patients would get examined more than once.
``Doohan! Stop pretending you don't remember our Safety Word!''
The Klingons deviously timed their attack for just after Thanksgiving when the entire crew would be in a tryptophan haze.
``No, seriously, what are we filming next week? Not that the `Spock's Brain' script isn't a riot ... ''
Kirk: "What the hell kind of photo is that, you got them when they both blinked!"
Spock: "I entitle it, waiting for a Haddaway photoshop."
Kirk: "Good luck with that."
McCoy, whispering: "Personally, I would have left Chekov on the Defiant. Then we'd be halfway across the galaxy by now."
McCoy, cocking an ear: "You had the mexican food last night, eh?"
Scotty, shifting in seat: "Right now, ye could light a cigarette off me arsehole ..."
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