TOS Caption Contest #115 - Kissy Kissy

[johcomp]

Spock: "Our minds are one, now you will accompany me to my Quarters, for a Private Ponn Farr.. Kroykah!!"

Uhura: "k..roy...kaaaahhhh!!"

Kirk: "SPOCK!!!! What have you done with Lietenant Jazura!?!"

Koenig: Why did George insist on me playing this part instead of him - is there something he's not telling me????

 

[Outpost4]

Uhura: Sugah, the two of you aren't man enough for the one of me.

Chekov: Poker? So far, I've barely touched her.

 

[Triskelion]

Uhura: Sugah, you have a multilegged creature crawlin' on your shoulder -
Spock: Oh no, I'm not falling for that one. And good day to you madam.

Girl: Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Chekov: It's a pistol. Look, isn't this vestern-style embroidered holster obvious? Are you a little slow-vitted or somethink?
McCoy: He is so not from Georgia.
Spock: Or Vulcan.
<Scotty's gun goes off>
Scotty: Sorry lads.
Kirk: Again, you mean.
Scotty: Aye, again. <swigs sadly>

 

[Noname Given]

Spock: You haven't been laid in seven years, eh? Believe me, I can relate...

Captain Kirk: No, this week, I passed to Chekov. If she isn't alien, or Green, I'm not interested.

 

[Rat Boy]

They weren't jealous of Chekov because of the girl. Nope, they wanted to know why he got two six-shooters.

 

[Classic Fan]

DeForest Kelley: "Damm! My OK Coral movie is cheapened by this sad little cash-in on my being in the original movie." *Sigh* "My hollywood career is over, for at least 10 years im guessing"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Sorry, new rules; minor characters only get promoted in the movies. Be grateful that we don't Harry Kim you."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Avoid our new movie, Mister Spock.

Trust me. There's not enough canon soap on this ship to wash out those images."

 

[cooleddie74]

CHEKOV:"Come back wit me to our wessel...I ken make you happy.

All the imaginary clothes you can vear...all the unreal food you can eat."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock began to suspect that the ship was haunted when the crew started singing and dancing like they were in a Harry Belafonte musical number.

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Is there something I can do for you, Miss Uhura?"

UHURA:"Not unless you've ever heard of fisting."

 

[cooleddie74]

(*SEINFELD popping sound and music*)

"Sorry...we've already got a Spock."

 

[Shatmandu]

Uhura: "Oh, don't worry: it happens to everyone now and then."
Spock: "So ... we could, maybe, er, try again ... tonight?"
Uhura: "Nope."

McCoy, sulking: "This sucks. At least last Thanksgiving, we were all high on those spores. You remember that?"
Scotty: "Aye."
Kirk: "Yep."
Spock, pausing, looking intently at the blonde: "Yes."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "For God's sakes, Jim, couldn't you have come up with a better way to get us all killed? I figured you more as a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid kind of guy."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "What I don't get is..."
Kirk: "How Chekov got the girl and I didn't?"
McCoy: "Geez Jim, will ya... Ok, I don't get that, but what I really don't get is in all the history books, all the old movies, the holovids, right, all of that... The Earps were the good guys, and the Clantons the bad guys. So what the hell movie did you see Jim, that had it all the other way round?"

 

[Outpost4]

Girl: It's 'Miss Kitty', not 'Miss Pussy'.

 

[Outpost4]

Cloud Festus: Marshall Dillion, Marshall Dillion, come quick! There're some bad men in town and they've got Doc and Sam trapped down at the cor-ral!

 

[Rat Boy]

Cloud Festus: "Holiest of Hollies say budget needs cutting, that's why no walls."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Cloud Festus: "Holiest of Hollies say budget needs cutting, that's why no walls."

Cloud Festus: "We tell'em it artsy, that shut them up."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "What kind of saloon let's Injuns in through the door, walls, whatever?"

Kirk: "Even a medicine man needs his firewater Bones, you should know that."