TOS Caption Contest #115 - Kissy Kissy

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Yeah, man, kiss her. Kiss her good. Let your hand slip down from her arm to her thigh there. Yeah, now stick your tongue out, and let her touch the tip of yours with the tip of hers ..."
<The others shift uncomfortably.>

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Uhura: You know what they say, Mr. Spock, once you go black, you'll never go back

 

[cooleddie74]

"Tell me my eyes remind you of Vulcan's moon on a clear night...before the first TREK movie went and screwed up fanbase continuity for the following twenty or so years..."

KIRK:"Great.

Illusory Seconds.

I hate settling for those."

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Aye, lad.

Now...pull on the bun of her hair...then put her hand on yer crotch like a good boy."

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Pity to double it they had to sacrifice length.

 

[cooleddie74]

"I've always admired your quiet strength. And the way your ear tips feel when you're asleep, I break and sneak into your quarters and rub myself all over them."

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "Yep, they're fake! I can tell."
Pavel: "Yes Keptin just like your hair."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Illogical. I do not recall this character from Tombstone."

 

[highlander]

Spock: "Those earrings look very comfortable Lieutenant."
Uhura: "Yes Mr. Spock they are filled with helium. I bought them from a nice fat man in a bus station on Earth."

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"Oh, just DO HER, Pavel.

Sheeeeesh. It's bad enough we might die in this place...do I have to lose my wood to add insult to injury?"

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA:"Have you ever seen any old Earth Stevie Wonder music records?"

SPOCK:"No, Miss Uhura. I am afraid I have not."

UHURA:"Don't feel too bad.


Neither did he."

 

[E-Blonde]

The boys discuss booty with Chekov and...

Spock and Uhura discuss rebooty.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Oh, for crying out loud. I said I was sorry about that time I was hiding under your bed."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Chekov: "Royal Flush, Gentlemen, I vin!"
Kirk: "Fuck!!"

 

[Outpost4]

Uhura: But Mr. Spock, the basketball team needed a cheerleader and it was natural to yell, "Give them a B...give them a J..."

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "Looks like Chekov has moved "all in""

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov, softly, to the girl: "Vhat does it mean, 'like throwing a pickle down a hallvay'?"

Uhura: "That nurse might pine for you from afar, but I keeps it real: I'ma suck yo' dick, a'ight?"
Spock, after making sure no one else can hear: "A'ight."

Chekov's part was originally written for Sulu, and the girl was originally a mute stable boy named "Sweaty Hector."

Spock, thinking: "I'd like to show her the little-known 'Vulcan Tit Grip.'"

Scotty: "Ask the bonny lass if she has any older, unattractive sisters the Captain and the Doctor might 'ave a tumble with."

Uhura: "How's about you come over tonight and nerve pinch my taint again?"
Spock: "With both hands, baby."

Spock: "Mister Scott, I just noticed: what the fuck did you do to your hair?"

Uhura: "The lab called. All the DNA on Sulu's bedsheets combined and have taken over Deck Four."

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Come on Carl, you know I'd never hold out on you!

 

[Vassa]

Spock: "Lieutenant, I believe the captain ordered all of the tribbles to be removed from the ship."

Uhura: "Oooh, Mr. Spock, this one likes you! Say something else!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "Curious, I was under the impression that the phrase, 'I'll be your huckleberry', wasn't appropriate for this context."