TOS Caption Contest #114 - Sample In A Jar

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "You know, come to think of it, perhaps I should go in for that colon exam."

Pike: "You know, come to think of it, maybe I should forget the whole escape idea and spend the rest of my life having sex with three women."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

McCoy: "Sorry the sample got contanimated, I was looking at girly mags and one thing led to another-"

Pike: "Make one more goddamned wheelchair joke. I dare you."

 

[Gertch]

Pike: "... now take your hand off Number 1's crotch."
#1: "Well let's not be too hasty Captain."

Doc: "Strangest snake-like thing I just pulled out of Apollo's spine. His eye's have stopped glowing and his voice raised an octave."

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Doc: "Strangest snake-like thing I just pulled out of Apollo's spine. His eye's have stopped glowing and his voice raised an octave."

Kirk: Indeed?

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "Look at this, Jim. You go through drive-through and they don't even give you a full drink."

Kirk: "The prime directive be damned. We're beaming down to fix this problem!"

 

[EnsignHarper]

PIKE: Screw Prop 8 - you two are getting married!

 

[Rat Boy]

Pike: "I told you not to lay a hand on my daughters!"

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

McCoy was disappointed in his Sea Monkey colony and regretted not choosing the X-Ray glasses

 

[Mistral]

You say one more thing about the Raiders and you're gonna have a black hole right in the middle of your head! They're just having an off-season!

 

[Mistral]

McCoy: "This? It's Al Davis's brain. My tests show its 98% water and 2% air." gestures, "That bit at the top is the air."

Kirk: "Well, that explains last season. And the DeAngelo Hall trade."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Sorry, Jim.

Even after three issues of ORION BARELY ENSLAVED this was all I could do.

What can I say? I'm not a teenager anymore."

PIKE:"Your scalp is fabulous.

Tell me how you did it...or ELSE."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Talosian: Stay, be our slaves, you have no choice.
Pike: Balls!

 

[Rat Boy]

Pike: "Now listen here, pal; I'm the first captain of the Enterprise. Never heard of this April guy. You got that?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Yeah, it's enough, Jim.

I'm not worried about THAT.

It's that you spend so much time in those tight service slacks I'm not sure you can even get Miss Noel pregnant."

TALOSIAN:"Was...was it something I transmitted?!"

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I don't get it, Jim. That damn computer kept telling me that my door was a jar. Does this look like a door to you?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"If I accomplished nothing else, at least I proved to Miss Chapel my aim is incredible."

 

[Gertch]

McCoy was disappointed in his Sea Monkey colony and regretted not choosing the X-Ray glasses

Of course Kirk had that covered...

 

[Rat Boy]

It was at times like this the crew regretted removing the hostess stations.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"This is your last warning about grabbing my ass."

MCCoy: "Spock donated some more sperm during pon far."

 

[highlander]

McCoy: "Yes, Jim there is a BIG difference between Sea Monkeys and Seamen."