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TOS Caption Contest #106 - Workout

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"Years in that New Zealand penal colony HARDENED me, gentlemen...my granddaddy drank strychnine...my momma handled snakes."
 
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Kirk: "Thats right gentleman, I got these tickets to Risa on Priceline.com. I paid only 99 credits."
Cloud William: "Not this Priceline.com shit again!"
Cloud Festus: "He get big kick backs, he never gonna let it go."
 
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Scalping on Omega IV soon came to have an entirely new and unpleasant meaning...
 
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Kirk was sweating big time as to whether he would be able to get the $250 he paid for his extra Rolling Stones tickets.
 
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Cloud William: "I...do not fully understand, one named Kirk, but the directions on how to properly fist will be obeyed. I swear it!"
 
Cue from Outpost4

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Spock: "It's the leader of the planet Cuisinart's personal transportation device. Ah, he has arrived. I'll just press this button to let him out..."
 
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"I'm... Slim Shady
Ye-hes!
I'm the real Shady
All you other... Slim Shadys
are just imitatin'
So... won't the real... Slim Shady
please stand up?
please stand up?
please stand up?"
 
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The next words out of Kirk's mouth were "Beautiful!!" when he realized how much and far the Yang women could squirt
 
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