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Today I'm 31...

I'm 30, I have a decent job but no girlfriend (no thanks), no house (I wouldn't buy one even if I could live on my own) and certainly no car (don't want one).

These things will come on their own if you want them to. No need to obsess about them. Don't but timeframes on your life based on some ridiculous schedule created by peer pressure from other people, you will only make yourselves miserable.
 
But simply buying a house isn't going to make you happy. Think about all the responsibilities that come with owning a home. If you aren't happy now, you surely won't be then, unless you have a family to fill it, otherwise it will just be a big empty house.

I actually prefer living in an apartment cause I know there are people around me, I don't feel as alone as I would in an empty house by myself.
 
^

I am unhappy because I live in a place that isn't mine, nothing that is mine. A house would make me more happy, belive me.

JF
 
It is my birthday and I am 31...
Happy Birthday.
BirthdayCake.gif


lil more scary than 30. I look at my life...I don't have a wife, I do not have children
I'm 47 and have managed to avoid both, too. :D

I hate my job, people younger than me are making more money even though I have more experience and I want to not wake up in the morning. How can I change this within a year? I want realistic answers not BS.
People younger than me are making more money than me, too. That's because I quit my manager job, because I was tired of ten-hour days, being on call 24/7 and of dealing with politics and cover-ups. I wanted my life back. You're young. Instead of dwelling on what you don't have, you should devote your energy to finding inner peace. You love art, music and creativity? Work on it. Create stuff. Being a writer and artist, I know there's nothing more satisfying than creating things and sharing them with people. :)
 
It is my birthday and I am 31...lil more scary than 30. I look at my life...I don't have a wife, I do not have children, I don't own a house or atleast paying on one, my car is a 93' Thunderbird...would rather have a 2009 Chevy Colorado, Blue with a crew cab and shortbed, I hate my job, people younger than me are making more money even though I have more experience and I want to not wake up in the morning. How can I change this within a year? I want realistic answers not BS.
Thank you very much, Jetfire, now I hate my own life, too. :klingon:

Seriously, I can understand the kicks of depression. I have my moments of dolefulness and withdrawal, too. Sometimes the shit seems just too deep to cross it. So I'm not judging.

But I can give you a word of advice: it's not what you are, what you do or what you have that makes you happy. You make yourself happy. Now you put the blame of your state of mind on your personal situation, but it isn't so. Let's say you get a house, inherited from a long lost granduncle. You believe it will make you happier? Momentarily, yes. But soon enough the depression will kick in again. Same with a new job, or even a nice girlfriend. You can't use possessions to become happy. You need to find your center, your peace of mind: when you reach that point, possessions will not mean much in any case. How to reach your peace of mind, I can't tell you: everybody is different. You have to look inside of you. But material possession rarely is a way.

Don't mistake this for a religious argument: I'm an atheist and a materialist. But you can't be a slave to your live. To be happy, you have to be the master of your life. And since I'm definitively in corny-land, I'll just end with the corniest quote ever: Don't try to be happy. Be happy. That's about it, more or less. :D
 
I'm going through a similar crisis and the best advice I've heard so far was what a mate put on my blog.

"In my experience, absolute and stubborn tunnel vision on sorting your shit out will solve a lot of stuff. Those that matter will understand. Those that care will help."
 
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^

Good advice, alot here actually. I did get a cake today at work...yeah me!!!

Anyway, I wish I had a handle on things better than I do now, I really need to just fight and keep pushing towards my dreams.


JF
 
Soooo... can we all use this thread to mope about our lives? 'Cause that's what I'm gonna do. :D

I'm 25 years old, lived with my parents all my life (including through university) until a few months ago when I finally decided enough was enough, and I moved out. Unfortunately, I don't know where to go from here. I have a B.A., but I'm not sure what to do with it. In fact, I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life (a fact that is frustrating my parents more than myself right now, I think). I currently have no job and there aren't really any prospects on the horizon (I have applied for some positions, but nothing fancy -- certainly nothing I'd want to make a career out of). I don't know what to do.

Women... ah, that's a fun one. I have never in my life had a serious relationship with a lady. If I found myself in one, I wouldn't know where to begin. Most of the time, this doesn't bother me --I'm a firm believer in not needing someone else to define yourself or validate your life-- but sometimes, it might be nice to have someone to talk to. And, yes, I admit it, it would also be nice to have sex on a somewhat regular basis. I'm a human male... I have needs.

Anyways... I guess I'm just trying to give you some perspective Jetfire, as others have. I'm not saying one of us is better or worse off than the other, but they say misery loves company, and while I'm not exactly miserable, I'm far from satisfied with my life. So you are definitely not alone in the way you feel.

I'm not sure what you could do to improve your situation... have you considered going back to school? Maybe get another degree and pursue something else that you have an interest in? (My apologies if this has already been suggested... I haven't read every post in the thread.) I think I might do that in a few years, if I still don't have any clear direction in my life. Would it help, in the long run? I can't say, but it's an idea...
 
A great songwriter once said:

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

Make plans for the future and enjoy the ride :D
 
^ amen.

And life has kicked me in the groin repeatedly at this point while trying to make those plans, but if it all comes to fruition, it's worth it.

/tries to hold on to that thought. :D

J.
 
I wish I could just not wake up in the morning. :(

I don't want to go through another day of hating my life. I have to work later and I don't want to, I really don't want to be in this hole of a place I live in...to me my life is a nightmare, I just want it to end.


JF

It's too bad you feel that way. If it makes anything easier, and I'm not sure it will, many people are in a far worse position than you are. You have the power within you to be whatever you want, do whatever you want, and live however you want. Please don't give up.
 
I wish I could just not wake up in the morning. :(

I don't want to go through another day of hating my life. I have to work later and I don't want to, I really don't want to be in this hole of a place I live in...to me my life is a nightmare, I just want it to end.


JF

It's too bad you feel that way. If it makes anything easier, and I'm not sure it will, many people are in a far worse position than you are. You have the power within you to be whatever you want, do whatever you want, and live however you want. Please don't give up.

You are absolutely correct.

J.
 
^^

Very true, it seems easier to get lost in your own sorrow than to man up and face life head on with horns and a bit of a smirk. I feel I have the strength to change my life for the better however using that power feels like a cave person trying to heat up a chunk of meat in a microwave.

JF
 
It is my birthday and I am 31...lil more scary than 30. I look at my life...I don't have a wife, I do not have children, I don't own a house or atleast paying on one, my car is a 93' Thunderbird...would rather have a 2009 Chevy Colorado, Blue with a crew cab and shortbed, I hate my job, people younger than me are making more money even though I have more experience and I want to not wake up in the morning. How can I change this within a year? I want realistic answers not BS.

I don't know, I don't know, and I don't know. But happy birthday! :)
 
A great songwriter once said:

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
"Although he also said: 'I am the Walrus I am the eggman' so I don’t know what to believe."

;)




(I never thought I'd see myself quoting from series one of the original "The Office" first thing in the morning... ;))
 
Don't feel so bad.

My eldest son is 31!!! I seems like only yesterday he was alittle boy. Time goes by too quickly.

I am 51 year old, do not have a husband (I am grateful for this), I do not have a job, own a house or a car. I cannot even drive.

I do have three sons. Only one lives with me, the other two I only see very occasionally.

But I am happy.

If you do not like your job is there anything to stop you from tking off and looking for a new life?
 
A great songwriter once said:

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
"Although he also said: 'I am the Walrus I am the eggman' so I don’t know what to believe."

;)




(I never thought I'd see myself quoting from series one of the original "The Office" first thing in the morning... ;))

Listen to the line he wrote to his son when he wasn't stoned :lol:
 
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