Today I almost shoved an employee at Target

[Gryffindorian]

It's all about context. It certainly can be used as a derogatory term in the right contexts. He has another bit he says this on using the word "Jew" saying that word is both the thing you can call the people legitimately as a form of short-hand for a group of people or it can be used as a slur against a group of people.

Context.

You didn't have it in this case. The guy in the line, sure, was having a conversation he should not have been having in front of customers but what he is saying should make no impression on himself, others around him or his beliefs.

The other poster's incident, however was an entirely different context given the language used, near by patrons, the context of the language and having the bulk of the context.

Some guy making in an off-hand comment at the register? Hardly the case to take aggressive action.

Yes, we lack context. I find it interesting, however, that your default is to assume the BEST in people. That you think it's not offensive until proven otherwise.

My mind works backwards. If I saw someone frown and mutter "jew" under their breath while looking at a Jewish person I'd assume it was derogatory until I learned something that made me think I was wrong.

But you'd assume that person is a-ok until you had more context to prove otherwise?

Like I said, I guess my mind just works backwards from yours. You've got a nice 'innocent until proven guilty' thing going on in your mind, which is admirable. I'm not criticizing you, I just find it interesting.

SWC, it's interesting you pointed that out. There's an on-line personality test (IPIP-NEO) that measures or analyzes different aspects of a person's personality, and this goes way beyond the typical introvert-or-extrovert, left-handed or right-handed individual traits. One of the categories (Antagonism/Cooperation?) determines whether a person tends to look at people in a positive or a negative light. Interestingly enough, my latest test revealed that I'm on the positive side of the spectrum, and I can personally say that this is true for me as well. I think pop psychology can be fun, and this particular test appears to be backed by substantial research. Again, this is an on-line personality test, and as such, like so many things on the Internet, should be taken with a grain of salt.

 

[Small White Car]

SWC, it's interesting you pointed that out. There's an on-line personality test (IPIP-NEO) that measures or analyzes different aspects of a person's personality...

Well, I can tell you right away that I chose to live my life as a pessimist once I realized they're happier people.

Think about it. We spend most of our lives being pleasantly surprised. Life is a constant stream of positive experiences for me. Things are nearly always better than I expected.

Optimists, on the other hand, spend the vast majority of their lives being let down and disappointed. I'd imagine most of them end up seriously depressed after awhile.

I'm not sure how the general public view of the two got mixed up (probably it's Eeyore's fault) but once I figured out that pessimists have all the fun, the choice was easy.

 

[Kestra]

I see what you're saying, but I don't think it's quite that simple. People with a pessimistic attitude might have just a general negative view of the world, and a negative schema. Rather than being pleasantly surprised when something contradicts their expectations, they may alter their perception of that event so that it once again becomes something negative. Perhaps saying that it's an isolated event, that things will not stay good, etc.

I'm not saying that all pessimists do this but rather that optimism and pessimism don't always work in such straightforward ways.

 

[Trekker4747]

It's all about context. It certainly can be used as a derogatory term in the right contexts. He has another bit he says this on using the word "Jew" saying that word is both the thing you can call the people legitimately as a form of short-hand for a group of people or it can be used as a slur against a group of people.

Context.

You didn't have it in this case. The guy in the line, sure, was having a conversation he should not have been having in front of customers but what he is saying should make no impression on himself, others around him or his beliefs.

The other poster's incident, however was an entirely different context given the language used, near by patrons, the context of the language and having the bulk of the context.

Some guy making in an off-hand comment at the register? Hardly the case to take aggressive action.

Yes, we lack context. I find it interesting, however, that your default is to assume the BEST in people. That you think it's not offensive until proven otherwise.

My mind works backwards. If I saw someone frown and mutter "jew" under their breath while looking at a Jewish person I'd assume it was derogatory until I learned something that made me think I was wrong.

But you'd assume that person is a-ok until you had more context to prove otherwise?

Like I said, I guess my mind just works backwards from yours. You've got a nice 'innocent until proven guilty' thing going on in your mind, which is admirable. I'm not criticizing you, I just find it interesting.

Eh, it's probably more importantly I assume neutrality in other people unless there's something that pushes me in one direction or another. I at times, kiddingly, call myself a misanthrope because I dislike humanity because of how mindless consumer-driven zombies we've all become completely oblivious to the world and others around us. Much of this is due to dealing with customers for my entire career.

How is it possible to not hate people when for the last 15 years your biggest experience with them is either them ignoring you and trying to get service from you while they're on their goddamn phone or they're buying things like mad because two inches of snow is in the forecast?

But on the whole and on the individual basis I assume that in their hearts most people are "good" and have modern sensibilities on various social issues, for the most part many Republicans dick with that concept too.

So if I'm in a check-out lane (and I'll never get why Target has like 25 check-out lanes but only ever seem to staff four at a time nor make any rush to open more when the lines are backing up) and the checker acts like a douchebag and says nonsense like this, yeah, I'm going to assume he's a douchebag for using such language, especially such language in front of a customer. But his use of that language isn't going to make me automatically assume he's a homophobe, racist or anything else.

The use of such language isn't what makes a person those things. Telling homophobic or racist jokes isn't what makes a person a racist. Being racist (or whatever the version of that is for homosexuals) is a lifestyle that consumes nearly every aspect of your life. Telling some off-color jokes isn't what makes a person a sexualist (?) or a racist.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

So when I read the topic title I recalled my thread from last week... and then this:

Under any other circumstances, I would've gone Jeff O'Connor on this guy or talked to the manager. However, if this ever happens again, I won't be so tolerant.

Look everyone, I'm a term now!

Anyway, I definitely agree that that's something you just shouldn't do, especially when working in customer service. If I caught an employee of mine doing that, we'd be having a big chat about it immediately.

And no... it wouldn't involve anything more than a chat!

 

[tharpdevenport]

And no... it wouldn't involve anything more than a chat!

Good job.







Slugger.

 

[Nowhere Man]

I ussually mind my own business when people aren't talking to me, especially if i'm not offended by it. If your offended, then say something, if not, why bother bringing it up?

 

[Franklin]

When I was ready to check out, I noticed there were at least four registers open,

At least four open lanes. At Target. Wow! That's amazing. I've been to Target some weekday afternoons when only two or three lanes are open.

Frankly, I wouldn't care if every checker was turning the air blue shouting profanity if they at least had enough lanes open so I don't have to stand in line longer than it took me to shop.

 

[Servo]

What a palava over nothing. If I'd heard someone say that, I'd have laughed my arse off and got on with my day.

Some people take the world far too seriously.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Locutus and Kestra, I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression. Actually, the title of this thread was a parody of Jeff O'Connor's thread on racism.

As far as parodies go, this one is pretty unfunny.

As for censorship, I didn't want to sound too direct or too crude, as we already have the issue of people getting offended by sexist/sexual comments.

Hm. Sexims ≠ sexual.

 

[Franklin]

What a palava over nothing. If I'd heard someone say that, I'd have laughed my arse off and got on with my day.

Some people take the world far too seriously.

For the most part, yeah. Although if my daughters were with me (7 and 11) and overheard it, I may have said something to a manager.

 

[Captain Ice]

What a palava over nothing. If I'd heard someone say that, I'd have laughed my arse off and got on with my day.

Some people take the world far too seriously.

Same thing I'd probably do. At most, I'd have a word with a supervisor.

 

[Servo]

At most, I'd have laughed my arse off. Why even bother to speak to a supervisor about it? It's a non-issue. Kids are going to hear worse from their peers at some point, so why make a big deal out of it, and even risk some guy's job if you're getting a supervisor invoved, just because of a comment you don't even know the reason behind?

 

[Gryffindorian]

What a palava over nothing. If I'd heard someone say that, I'd have laughed my arse off and got on with my day.

Some people take the world far too seriously.

Some people have standards. What a concept, huh?

Posted by iguana tonante:

Hm. Sexims ≠ sexual.

No kidding. And Martin Luther King, Jr., was black. But that wasn't my point, only that some people on this board may get offended by such graphic language.

Posted by Franklin:

At least four open lanes. At Target. Wow! That's amazing. I've been to Target some weekday afternoons when only two or three lanes are open.

Frankly, I wouldn't care if every checker was turning the air blue shouting profanity if they at least had enough lanes open so I don't have to stand in line longer than it took me to shop.

I guess I got lucky that time. I usually avoid this Target store like the plague during weekends. This location is just next to a public park, and it gets uber-crowded. Parking can be a bitch, not to mention the long lines of people inside.

 

[Servo]

What a palava over nothing. If I'd heard someone say that, I'd have laughed my arse off and got on with my day.

Some people take the world far too seriously.

Some people have standards. What a concept, huh?

And some people like to get their tighty whiteys in a bunch over nothing. Get over yourself.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Posted by iguana tonante:

Hm. Sexims ≠ sexual.

No kidding.

Then why you conflated the two, as if they were the same thing? Seems like you have problems at conveying your intended meaning in your words, and then blame the others for reading what your wrote instead of what you thought.

But that wasn't my point, only that some people on this board may get offended by such graphic language.

Which is silly, since anyone who's going to be offended by "dick" is going to be offended by "d*ck", too.

Dude, you failed at this thread. Badly. For more than one reason. My nsh suggestion is to move on, as I don't see any good coming from your replies.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Posted by iguana tonante:

Hm. Sexims ≠ sexual.

No kidding.

Then why you conflated the two, as if they were the same thing? Seems like you have problems at conveying your intended meaning in your words, and then blame the others for reading what your wrote instead of what you thought.

But that wasn't my point, only that some people on this board may get offended by such graphic language.

Which is silly, since anyone who's going to be offended by "dick" is going to be offended by "d*ck", too.

Dude, you failed at this thread. Badly. For more than one reason. My nsh suggestion is to move on, as I don't see any good coming from your replies.

Failed? How juvenile can you get. What are we, keeping track of scores here now? Anyway, I have moved on. You're free to not respond to my thread, just so you know.

 

[Servo]

How juvenile can you get.

About as juvenile as you insinuating that I have no standards because I don't get uppity when someone says "sucks dick" in public.

 

[Gryffindorian]

How juvenile can you get.

About as juvenile as you insinuating that I have no standards because I don't get uppity when someone says "sucks dick" in public.

I think a lot of people (including you) didn't quite get the original intent of my post--which at its core is about poor customer service and business conduct. That's all there is to it. It's not about pushing people to the ground; it's not about being sexually repressed; it has nothing to do with juxtaposing certain words and implying that they are the same.

The problem that often arises from discussion threads like this is that some people jump right in upon reading the initial paragraph and assume the worst. I already stated in subsequent posts that I exaggerated and that the title meant to poke fun at Jeff O'Connor's thread title.

And another thing: I always endeavor to write with the utmost completeness, accuracy, and clarity. It is NOT my problem that others misinterpret the things I say. Apparently, what I say and what others think I say are two different things.

I Say: "Sacramento is the state capital of California."
Others Read: "Copenhagen is the capital of California, and the moon is made of green cheese."

What the hell gives?!?

 

[Servo]

I think a lot of people (including you) didn't quite get the original intent of my post--which at its core is about poor customer service and business conduct. That's all there is to it.

Yeah, I get it. I just think it's ridiculously uptight to get annoyed by a minimum wage shelf stacker saying something like that in a supermarket. Had this happened while the guy was dealing with you directly, or had his statement been directed at you, I could understand your point. As it stands, it seems like you were going out of your way to be offended.