Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #572: Basic Tricorder Operation and Maintenence

[Captain Crow]

Data, singing: Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la. Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la. Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la. Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la...

Picard, shrieking offscreen: Beverly do something! He's been singing that song for the last twenty-eight hours!

Dr. Crusher, desperately jabbing Data's power button: I'M TRYING!!

Data, singing: ...One banana, two banana, three banana, four. Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more...

Dr. Crusher, blood curdling scream while quickly jabbing power button harder: STOP IT!!!!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Beverly: Crusher to Picard.

Picard [over combadge]: Go ahead, Doctor.

Beverly: We've found the source of the odor. I strongly recommend returning to starbase to install facilities.

Picard [over combadge]: Facilities?!? What type of facilities, Doctor?

Beverly: <sigh>

 

[Herbert]

Dr Crusher picks the absolute worst person to try to wedgie.

 

[Herbert]

Frakes: How much do you think this set cost?
Dorn: 10 Quatloos! <smiling>
McFadden: Nerd

 

[Herbert]

Crusher: Whoa! Data got back!

 

[Captain Crow]

Worf: It like stinks in here man.

Riker: Why is Worf acting like Sammy Davis Jr?

Dr. Crusher: Haven't a clue.

 

[Herbert]

Welcome back, Leady

LaForge: “Alas, poor tricorder! I used it, Captain: a device of infinite applicability, of most excellent design. It hath borne me on its functions a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!”
Picard: Don't quit your day job, Geordi

 

[Nerys Myk]

LWAXANA: Come on in everybody. The water is fine!

*Tricorder beeps*

CRUSHER: Yeah, about that...

 

[Mojochi]

Geordi: I like to hold it gansta style

Data: Doctor, my research indicates that this is not the correct way to practice ventriloquism.

Crusher: Will, you had sex in this pool didn't you?

Crusher: I'm not sure what the odor is, but I'm detecting no fish

 

[Finn]

Picard: What's this?

Laforge: The new ship pool. You pick the stardate for when Mutai Sho-Rin locks this thread, and another for when Leadhead starts for a new contest. Most of the senior staff picked this coming holiday season...

Picard: What's the third set of stardate?

Laforge: Oh right. That's for when Leadhead announces the next set of winners...

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Data: "I did not think it was possible to tuck a shirt in with hospital corners."
Beverly: "Live and learn, Data. Live and learn."

 

[Tenacity]

Crusher: Captain, we've located the Founders.
Picard: What kind of mood are they in?
Riker: They seem a bit blue.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Geordi: "And, as you can see, if I hold it sideways, I look cooler."

Picard: "Agreed."

Geordi: "And maybe I'll start to get the girls."

Picard: "Not agreed."

 

[Captain Crow]

La Forge: Sir, these lights keep blinking out of sequence, sir.

Picard: I see.

La Forge: What should we do about it, sir?

Picard: Get them to blink in sequence.

 

[Noname Given]

Geordi: "Sorry Captain, I don't know which button on this remote changes the channel either. Maybe the batteries are dead?"

 

[Captain Crow]

Riker: Is that a Baby Ruth?

Dr. Crusher: No.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"I'm detecting paint, foam and plastic plants."

 

[Tenacity]

Geordi: This is a cutting edge technology cellular flip telephone from the 1990's.

Picard: Primative barbarians.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Riker: Is that drinkable?
Crusher: Depends, Commander, if you prefer to spit or swallow.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARMUS: Hey, long time no see. What's up?