Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #518: Minor Malfunctions

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "McCallister Family Reunion" Award, going to Shivkala for:

Troi: Oh no, the Romulans have all fled the ship...I'm HOME ALONE!


Next, we have the "Game Night" Award, going to Mr. Laser Beam for:

Toreth: Major Rakal, what precisely do you mean by "Go Fish"?



Next, we have the "Well that's easier to say than 6 pages of technobabble" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

N'VEK: Captain, we need to be careful. The Enterprise is equipped with heavy plot armor. Recommend we do not attack.



Next, we have the "Caption Arcs" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Picard: Get Geordi up here with that Dyson he was bragging about all last week.


Next, we have the "No Comment" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

Crusher: If you want, I can keep the ears.
Troi: Why would I want the ears?
Crusher, sotto: Men like the ears. *wink*


Our Photoshop Award, goes to Nerys Myk for:

TROI: Thank, god. For a moment I thought I was a Romulan.

Our KBL goes to inflatabledalek for:

Troi: Why are you sitting over there? Do I smell?





Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Okay, so in the last contest, I wanted to set things up properly for the Season 7 vote, but instead of giving people 2 votes, I forgot to adjust the settings and only gave 1. We had 2 clear winners (Lower Decks and All Good Things) and they will be both get their contests. However, in light of the error, we will run a second round of voting for the contest that will run next week.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: No, no, no! The lights stay ON during a Red Alert! Who would ever turn them down in an emergency?!

Wesley: Uh-oh. Maybe I shouldn't have told them to cross the streams...

Worf: Styrofoam is heavy!

Riker: Worf, can you clean up the signal?

Worf: Aye, Sir. Photon Torpedoes locked on. Once they're destroyed the signal will be clear.

Riker: Anyone else have the munchies?

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Sir. Ensign Ritchie's doing it again.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: Not my fault!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ROMULAN: You trying to free me or impale me?
WORF: Still deciding.

 

[Orac]

He who smelt it, dealt it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: We'll have to cancel the show, there's no sign of Spın̈al Tap.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: What's going on back here? Lt.? Oh, God, please tell me those aren't the Bickleys!

Lt.: Sir?

Data: From the original DC mini-series. A husband and wife who constantly bickered, even during combat.

Wesley: Yeah, I'm getting blamed for this. Then, they'll realize I'm the only one who can fix it. I hate my life.

Worf: We're in here! Can anyone hear us?

Romulan: I hear you.

Worf: In here!

Romulan: *softly* We are here.

Tomalak: Hey, you're stealing my dialogue from a parallel reality!

Riker: Zoom in! Enhance! Engisn, why's it still distorted?!

Wesley: That's all the resolution we have. Making it bigger doesn't make it clearer.

Riker: It does on CSI: Miami.

Picard: Ensign, it needs more jpeg!

Data: Sir, I do not understand, while, yes we are in the misty morning fog, none of our hearts are "thumping." Further more, Lt. LaForge is not a brown-eyed girl.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW LeadHead!

Picard: - there can be no Justice so long as laws are - ALL RIGHT WHO IS MAKING CRICKET NOISES!!!

Geordi: Wesley give us a hand with these conduits!
Wesley: What do I look like, some goober from Texas?? I'll just go cut power at the junction box first.

Romulan: My people will sing my song of your bravery for many generations to come.
Worf: Ohh?
Romulan: "The Ballad of Targ Boy".
Worf: Awww.

Wesley: Chestworld. Nice.
Picard: If you know it through a signal scrambler, you know it too well!

Riker: OK men, be on the lookout for -
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sorry. I just meant keep your eyes open for -
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sorry. It's just that in this fog you can't see to the end of your nose -
Geordi: ....
Riker: Sorry. That is, look - sorry - without tricorders we're flying blind here -
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sorry. Politically correct speech is something of a blind spot for me.
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sorry. Look, try to see the glass as half full here -
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sigh. Sorry. I'm really just taking a shot in the dark here -
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sorry. If you could just see your way clear not to give me the stinkeye -
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sorry. Gee, if looks could kill....
Geordi: ...
Riker: Sorry. Look, I'm going to go see a man about a dog.... Sorry.
Data: WE'LL JUST BE OVER HERE NOT FINDING OUR ASSES WITH BOTH HANDS !! OOPS, SORRY!

 

[Finn]

Future Guy: It didn't work. Voyager still made it home 13 years down the road...

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: Damn it, I asked for soliloquy lighting!

WESLEY: Oh my God, who do I save? Which one of you has more connections I can use to advance my career?

ROMULAN: I'd rather die than pollute my skin with Klingon sweat!
WORF: You know this is why you guys always lose right?

RIKER: Wow, this thing gets surprisingly good reception.
PICARD: Yes, this is the pinnacle of image clarity for television, achieved in 1989 and never topped.
WESLEY: I am so used to images that look like this.

GEORDI: I found the problem Commander, another dry ice leak.
RIKER: We seem to keep running into those.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Acting Ensign Crusher, I need you to go out on the hull and adjust the antennae!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Data: "I was under the impression that the term "fog of war" applied to the obscuring of information that often accompanies long-term conflicts..."

Geordi: "Hey, am I the only one who's craving pea soup right now?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the win!

Sheldon Cooper, OS: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAATTTTONNNNN!

Riker: Twiddle the rabbit ears again.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Picard: Is there any hope of unscrambling Vulcan Love Slave?

Riker: Why can't we just subscribe to the Ferengi Holonet long enough to record it, and then unsubscribe?

Wesley: The Federation doesn't use money!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Riker: Report.

Data: This is what you call a "good news, bad news" situation. The good news is that the gas should adequately obscure our position and movements.

La Forge: The bad news is that, one phaser shot, and you won't need a VISOR to detect the explosion.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: In a 20th Century horror film, a fog like this would be fatal for most involved.
RIKER: Most?
DATA: An exception would be made for at least one attractive female.
LAFORGE: We're screwed.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Redshirt (thinking to self): I'm screwed!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Redshirt: "Can we move now?"
Data: "No. Maintain your position. The commercial break will end in 47 seconds."
Redshirt: "Easy for you to say. My neck's getting sore."

 

[Nerys Myk]

REDSHIRT: This isn't a convertible, is it?