Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #484: Doctor Crusher, I Presume

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW Leadhead and dad!

Crusher: Can I command the ship if I give you my special "Croissants"?

Picard: Is that a euphamism for sex?

Crusher: Yes.

Picard: yes.

Crusher: Wrong time to ask, but how do you fire these things?

Wesley: Have you seen my urine sample mom?

Riker: And this is how you curl your hair?

Crusher: Yep, guaranteed it'll look great on you.

Data: No, it is fine. I like to stand. I do not even need to sit. Really, standing is quite fine.

Worf: Why not go grab a chair from another table?

Data: No, really, it is fine.

Really.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard, sotto: Wait until the lights go off. Then we can start necking.

Crusher: WILL!?!
Wes: Hey, mom! Yeah, check it out. I hacked into a Borg cube. Or at least, I think I did. How do you like my laser eye?

Crusher, sipping bourbon: Only two more years until he's off to the Academy. Two more years.

Crusher: I'm thinking a Fu Manchu.
Riker: Uh, Mott is ny barber.
Crusher: You know how barbers used to be the town surgeon?
Riker: ...yes...
Crusher: I'm doing that in reverse. I need to express my creative side.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The moment Doctor Crusher decided to take the Bridge Officers Test
WES: All I'm saying is, as an Acting Ensign and Bridge Officer I out rank you in the chain of command . So you cant tell me what to do!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: It's true, nothing known to science can wipe that smug expression off your face.

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Picard: You have toilet paper on your shoe.

 

[Finn]

Picard: So this movie 'The Hunt for Red October' only has one female actor?

Crusher: Yes, and she's a nasty woman

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: This play is clearly not very good, but after let's all say how great it was to confuse Data.
BEVERLY: I'll pass it on.

BEVERLY: What the hell am I doing on this away mission? I'm a doctor damn it, not a commando!

WESLEY: Mom, have you seen my science experiment? I'm testing the growth rate of bacteria in a solution of warm Targ urine. It would be in a flask with a dark reddish color.

BEVERLY: Will, I told you if you didn't stop hitting on my nurses I'd de-beard you with a laser scalpel!

BEVERLY: That's great Data, are you experimenting with abstract art?
DATA: No. Spot vomited all over the canvas and I left it around my actual paintings. They must have picked it up and decided to display it.
BEVERLY: It's the most popular piece at the exhibition!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: Intriguing. I was not aware that Counselor Troi's holodeck excursions were for public viewing.

Worf: Deanna clearly has the passion of a warrior.

Beverly: Is that a llama?

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Wesley: Isn't that Earl Gray? You're trying to impress Captain Picard!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: Me and my friends are beaming down to find Crewman Brower's body.

 

[Finn]

CMO's Log: We should have known something was up when Wesley stopped the reactor core from exploding back at Starbase 32 when he was only two weeks old.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: Is there a history of baldness in our family?

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest is up!