Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #480: One, Number One

[JirinPanthosa]

RIKER: Man, this is a lot of work. Next time the ship is taken hostage let's just surrender immediately and try to retake the ship later.
PICARD: Works for me.

RIKER: Wow. Klingons hit almost as hard as my dates.

RIKER: New plan. Move to a female dominated world and pretend I don't like being treated like an object.

RIKER: Data, wait. Tell me. What is five divided by zero?
DATA: (Freezes)
RIKER: Whew. That was close.

RIKER: WTF?! I cheated in blind jousting against MY son too? Man, I suck.

 

[Triskelion]

Lore: And the happy little bush will just be our little secret.

 

[Leviathan]

Thanks for the win!

In this rarely seen deleted scene, Riker negotiates for a pay raise, a female yeoman in season 1 uniform, and bigger quarters before agreeing to enter his code.

 

[Finn]

Riker: One does not simply become a Captain

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Riker: Wait a minute, the console is displaying the countdown upside-down. We actually have...two minutes and fifty-one seconds.
Picard: Well...it's a little more time.

Data: Mr. O'Brien was off. Begin the dance sequence again.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Riker: Why the cheap and nasty LED countdown?

Picard: They didn't think it was worth investing much time and effort into something we're only supposed to use once.

Riker: Geordi was right, every time you touch the ship, it is like touching her!

Riker: Riker to Troi... have you found that mirror I asked you to look into before laughing at my outfit yet?

Riker: Geordi just showed me a picture of the time you copied my beard. NOW YOU MUST DIE.

Riker: Oh God, it's one of those episodes with kids in. They're always terrible, why were they even on the ship? Why is it I never catch Best of Both Worlds in reruns...

 

[Hutchy01]

The Riker Skeeve settings were powerful but dangerous.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

PICARD: "Forget it, Will. Your power death glare won't freeze the computer."

RIKER: *sings* "Standing on the corner, watching all the girls go byyyy..."
WORF: "You fail on all counts. I am not a girl, and I am not going anywhere. Nor is that a corner."
RIKER: *sings* "Leaning on the doorpost, getting glared at by Mister Worf...nah, not feeling it."

RIKER: "Why didn't you tell me this pin was the only thing holding my shirt closed?"

Will Riker experiences a "Will's robe" (wardrobe) malfunction.

RIKER *frustrated*: "Freeze! Freeze! Why isn't this working?"
DATA: "What result are you hoping to achieve by pointing that remote control at me?"
O'BRIEN: "Don't mind Commander Riker, Data. This is what happens when you spend too much time binge watching holo-TV. He thinks he can turn off and rewind everything."
DATA: "An unusual psychological disorder. Would it be safer to oblige his delusions, or attempt to shock him back to reality?"
O'BRIEN: "Beats the heck out of me."
SECURITY GUARD: "I don't want to find out. That's why I'm staying behind him."

WILL: "Hee hee...that'll teach you to steal my identity, Thomas!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: A little personal space, Captain.
PICARD: Please. Everyone knows your PIN is "Imzadi".

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker: "I want to un-see this."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the log entry!

Riker: "To disengage auto-destruct, press any key.... Any key, any key.... where's the any key?"
Picard: "I'm going to have to talk to DeSoto about that 'glowing' recommendation."

Worf: "You look like a man who just got laid."
Riker: "Why yes, yes I did."
Worf: "We are still orbiting the planet of the hermaphrodites, right?"
Riker: "Why do you think I'm heading to sickbay for a rectal reconstruction?"

Data on comm: "Inquiry, Commander. Snu-snu?"
Riker: "In your own time, Mr Data, in your own time. Don't contact me unless there's a red alert. Riker out."

O'Brien: "Calm down Commander. It's not like he spilled your pint."

CMO's Log: "William T. Riker was declared dead at 23:34 hours last night. The cause of death is listed as mistaking a mirror for a horror movie."

 

[2takesfrakes]

MISTRESS BEATA: "Oh, Will ... I love it when we play 'Fashion Parade,' but you get to wear all the great outfits!"

RIKER: "... That's the breaks."

 

[Catarina]

RIKER: Wow. Klingons hit almost as hard as my dates.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: As they say, what happens on Risa. Stays on Risa
BEATA: You're on Angel One.
RIKER: Damn.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

This is why Riker will have violently negative reactions to seeing anyone wearing a single earring for the next five years.

 

[LeadHead]

Sorry for the delay in posting the new contest. The information superhighway was unavailable to me for the weekend. I'll try to post sometime Monday.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: I don't care what they say. That was a good look for me.

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!