Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #464: Mandatory Quest

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Salvage RIghts" Award, going to HMS Ark Royal going to:

"To hell with Starfleet regulations for once... I'm nabbing myself that Battlecruiser. Chief, I order you to set the transporter to materialise me a few seconds ahead of the others. Under federation salvage law, first person to set foot on it claims it"



Next, we have the "Feline Safety" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

Picard: I think this kitty fence is just the ticket for Spot, Mr. Data.


Next, we have the "Fun at regular intervals" Award, going to:

Worf takes his play time very seriously.


Next, we have the "Security Precuations" Award, going to Finn for:

Geordi: The ship's black box indicated the commanding officer failed to check a subordinate for a surveillance device that was hidden on him after being held hostage.

Riker: What a moron


Next, we have the "Well, they do have Phasers too" Award, going to Mr. Laser Beam for:

Data: Mr. Worf, are you sure this is what the captain meant when he insisted we beam down armed?

Our Photoshop Award goes to Nerys Myk for:

RIKER: So it was smashed flat, as if by a giant foot and blasted with atomic radiation?
GEORDI: Yes. sir.
DATA: I would suggest that is highly unlikely. Geordi you might want to come up with a different hypothesis.

The Award goes to The Laughing Vulcan for:

O'Brien's Personal Log: "I should have kept my bloody mouth shut! Before every away mission now, the Captain insists on regaling me with his latest ship in a bottle story. I wouldn't mind, but the rest of the crew keep giving me dirty looks. I need a transfer..."

This weeks KBL goes to inflatabledalek for:

Worf: The size and number of exits from this room is inconsistent from episode to episode! We're not leaving till I have a satisfactory explanation!



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

The thread pattern has yet to be solved, so lets recap.

Thread titles:

Ambush!
Free Drinks!
Inevitable Betrayal
Research Agreement
Honorable Example
Crime Wave
Manipulate
Call in a Favor
Call for Adventurers
Mandatory Quest

Other clues:

Wil Wheaton is connected to this pattern and it has nothing to do with Mass Effect or The Big Bang Theory.

All of the thread titles are Intriguing.

New Clue:

The Wil Wheaton connection also connects Patrick Rothfuss and Felicia Day to this.



And now a new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: You cheated. You had daggers in both hands!

Data: So what do you all think of my poetry? Commander? Mister Worf?

Riker: Mister Worf, explain yourself.

Worf: While on Away missions I use my phaser to create art on the alien planets.

Kozak: Keep digging! There's gold here.

Picard: I thought gold was worthless.

Kozak: DS9 hasn't premiered yet, latinum hasn't been invented.

Worf: I think you left the oven on.

 

[Ithekro]

"Lynyrd. His Bird Free."

Data's determination would eventually end the stare down contest with the lidless eye once it grew bored some three days later.

WORF: Look, did you want to use the new head or not?

Ferengi: You Hoomons are so uncivilized. Not only making your women wear clothing, but then making them do hard sweaty labor that makes their clothing cling to them perversely. You disgust me, Hoomon.

WORF: I think it is an Id monster.

RIKER: No I am fairly sure that was my super ego that roosted the ensign.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Second Officer's Log: We still have four hours before we arrive at Starbase 35. Two hours ago, I decided to recite some new poetry, including one about Tasha. After half an hour, the bridge fell silent. The Captain said he had to meet with Dr. Crusher for breakfast. I reminded him it was 1320 hours. He told me to shut up. Counselor Troi needed a chocolate fix.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Dathon: Picard and Dathon at the timeshare.

Picard: Merde...

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the log entry LH!

Dathon: "Darmok and Jalad! Darmok and Jalad!"
Picard: "Pig Pen, his deodorant lacking."

2nd Officer's personal log: "After due consideration, and taking into account the effect on my fellow crewmembers, I have decided to delete the farting subroutine."

Riker: "Report, Mr Worf."
Worf: "I've finished scouting, sir. That's not a sky, it's a painted backdrop. We're on something called a soundstage at a place called Paramount, and the aliens are actually humans wearing costumes.
Q offscreen: "So sue me. I'm having a bad day, I've got a hangover that makes the Big Bang look like a squib, and I'm doing the best I can under very trying circumstances. Just... try and get into the spirit of things."

Kozak: "You see, in this universe there are two kinds of people, my friends. Those with charged disruptors and those who dig. You dig!"

Riker: "Deanna, can we talk about this?"
Troi inside: "Go away!"
Riker: "Geordi's got a team working on the replicators. You'll have your chocolate soon."
Troi: "Get lost before I peel off your beard and cleanse your colon with it!"
Worf: "Perhaps retreat is in order, Commander. She is clearly having a woman's period."
Riker: "A woman's period... Delivering Molly O'Brien made you into a regular gynaecologist!"

 

[Triskelion]

Dathon: Darmok keeps it now!
Picard: Merde, Mister Worf is gonna kill me.
Dathon: Jalad! Off Tanagara's property!

Data: Commander Worf was right - being designated driver is without - a certain word derived in Middle English, from Anglo-French onur, honur, from Latin honos; first known use: thirteenth century: honor.

Worf: Sorry Commander, this is the closest toilet-shaped rock formation I could find.
Riker: It'll have to do. Now has anyone found any leaves yet?

Vash: The holes are dug. Now what?
Ferengi: Take off those outfits and toss 'em in!
Picard: Not my anthropology blouse!

Riker: Fire!
Worf: Fire? My phaser?
Riker: No, it's on fire.
Worf: Set my phaser on fire?
Riker: No, the room is on fire!
Worf: I was gonna say, phasers are always pretty much set on "fire".
Riker: What the hell are you talking about?
Worf: You set a phaser to stun, or kill, but not fire.
Riker: THE ROOM IS ON FIRE!
Worf: So - phasers?

 

[Finn]

Captain's Log. The Ferengi didn't make Vash take off her clothes. Oh well

 

[Nerys Myk]

FERENGI: Why aren't you digging?
PICARD: I'm management!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

I didn't see the D&D movie but wasn't Wil Wheaton in it?

tftw!

CAPTAIN: Walter and Jesse at Albuquerque!
PICARD: We really need to stop showing aliens our classic TV shows.

DATA: Acting Captain's log. Captain Picard ordered me to find ways to conserve ship's power, so I reduced the ship's oxygen supply. Unfortunately I forgot something. Returning to Starbase 39 for maintenance.

WORF: How was I supposed to know that was the Rock People's signal for friendship?
RIKER: It was part of our mission briefing.
WORF: Maybe we can put their princess back together.

PICARD: How are we going to get out of this hole?
VASH: I know, we'll dig our way out!
FERENGI: No, dig up, stupid!

RIKER: This is the third time Alexander has gotten himself trapped in a burning room. On a ship with advanced fire suppression systems.
WORF: He's a slow learner. He'll be smarter when he gets older.

 

[shivkala]

Picard: To have a language based on metaphors, wouldn't you have to have a separate language developed first to convey these stories. I find it fascinating that your species would create a language like this!

Dathon: Okay, you got us. But, from my studies, your species almost devolved into speaking in "texting" and something called "emojis."

Data: Second Officer's Log: I did warn them about the problems associated with the damaged inertial dampeners. I find it intriguing, then, that I am the only one who engaged their safety restraint.

Worf: Q! "Whack a Mole" is without honor!

Kozak: It puts the Tox Uthat in the basket or else it gets the phaser!

Worf: Ensign Crusher! Saying that pot is legalized on 37 Federation Planets does not make it okay on the ship!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: As the First Officer, you should go in first.
RIKER: Seem more like a security problem, so as a Security Officer you should go first.
PICARD: Status on the heavily armed intruders?
WORF & RIKER: Working on it!

 

[jep]

Dathon: "It's fun to stay at the Yyyyyyyy.... (Sigh) Damnit, the guys were supposed to be here by now."

Picard: "I thought the cowboy was the letter 'Y'.

Dathon: "No, he's the 'M'".

(Awkward silence)

Dathon: "How about I just sing 'In The Navy'?"

.

 

[jep]

Picard: "Are you as brave with mortae as you are with a disruptor? "

Kozak: "Both will kill."


.

 

[LeadHead]

I didn't see the D&D movie but wasn't Wil Wheaton in it?

Not a D&D movie, but it is D&D related.

 

[2takesfrakes]

RIKER: "Worf, about a thousand or so tribbles are going to spill out of this storage locker of quadrotriticale, so stand clear of the door."

WORF: "Understood. My phaser is set to kill, Commander."

RIKER: "Stand down, Mister Worf...!"

 

[Triskelion]

Worf: That Morlock will rue the day he brought a hot plate in his room.
Riker: Mendon.
Worf: Whatever!
Riker: And it was Mordock.
Worf: Oh. Where have I heard Morlock before?
Riker: The Time Machine.
Worf: Ah. PUT THE HOTPLATE DOWN AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP, MORDOCK!
Voice: It's Mendon, you hat rack!
Worf: WHATEVER!!!

 

[f14peter]

DATHON: "Montana to Clark ... in the end zone!!!!!!"

PICARD: "Oh yes, 20th Century Earth, American football, 1981 NFC Championship game ... lessee, a metaphor about underdogs winning out against a long established dominant force ... like you and I, the underdogs, against this invisible beast"

DATHON: "No!"

PICARD: "Um, an example of teamwork being able to snatch victory from defeat at the last minute?"

DATHON: "No, it was one the best games ever!"

PICARD: "I'm a soccer man myself, but yes indeed it was a great game"

RIKER: "So Worf, mind if I smoke?"

 

[Finn]

Deanna: (inside) NOOOO! What happened to the Cocoa plants?!? I'm going to snap off their heads whenever I find who did this

Worf: *whispers* I think there's a shuttlecraft ready...if we hurry, she will never know we were here

Riker: She knows we are here, dumbass

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATHON: Cameo, their hands in the air like they just don't care.