TNG Caption This! #438: Food & Drink

[Karzak]

PICARD: Food, you know, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
PULASKI: Yeah.
PICARD: So, you know, I went to the replicator and I opened up the meat drawer. You know what the meat drawer is, right?
PULASKI: Yeah. What was in there?
PICARD: Well, I’ll tell you what was in there. You know that rokeg pie that’s like blood? It’s got blood flavor.
PULASKI: The bloody kind, yeah?
PICARD: Yeah, so.
PULASKI: Yeah...
PICARD: I took that out and I thought…
PULASKI: Yeah?
PICARD: I know who would like that… Me! So I ate it.
PULASKI: Awwwww, no! You’re kidding me.
PICARD: Nope! I’m not kidding. You know, I also noticed there was some heart of targ in there. Yeah, you know, juicy. Well, I ate that too.
PULASKI: Awwww!!.
PICARD: But I went back to the replicator just a few minutes ago and I put something together really special, you’re gonna love this one. I took some gagh…
PULASKI: Yea?
PICARD: I put some,
PULASKI: Yeah...
PICARD: I put some cheese on it, and I covered it with…
PULASKI: Covered it with what?
PICARD: I covered it with prune juice.
PULASKI: Yeah?
PICARD: Then guess what?
PULASKI: What?
PICARD: I gave it to the XO.
PULASKI: Ahhhhhgh!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ODELL: I'm sorry Counselor, was this yours?

PICARD: I'm sorry Counselor, was this yours?

TROI: Never mind, I'll just have some of these ... (sob) ... delicious ... (sob) ... apples

 

[Triskelion]

- Keep your back door closed and the meat wagons off your donkey, affirmatory? Lady Nightbird is 10-200, got too much battery acid at the bean store back in Verteron Town. Beam me up and out.

 

[Hutchy01]

- Keep your back door closed and the meat wagons off your donkey, affirmatory? Lady Nightbird is 10-200, got too much battery acid at the bean store back in Verteron Town. Beam me up and out.

The final unreleased TNG film "Carry on Trekkin'"

 

[Finn]

First officer's Log: Data has figured out how to break the trance Wesley's latest project had put the entire crew under when we both were off the ship. He is making good progress. Picard no longer thinks his wine is Earl Grey. Worf longer crawls around like a Targ. Geordi lost his confidence in women. I'm off to check on Deanna. Knowing her, she's probably eating something thinking it's chocolate.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: 'effing diets.

 

[Triskelion]

^ HA HA HA

TROI: 'effing diets.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Let me guess, tastes like chicken, right?

Riker: Actually, it tastes like Doctor Crusher. Remember her?

Troi's Personal Log: It's almost impossible to eat wearing mascara this heavy.

Waitress: We bring gifts in exchange for clothes with dignity.

Picard: Hmmph. I was dong the "Be a Frenchman with an inexplicable English accent" thing before it was cool. Now even my looser brother is doing it! I might change for Mexican next time.

Odell: Actually, I'm French. I'm just doing a subtle twist on the English accent thing.

 

[tharpdevenport]

 

[Finn]

Pulaski: Geez...Deanna sure wasn't kidding when she said...

 

[Mojochi]

Picard: When I said I approve of the new beard, I didn't know it's primary function would be as a bib

Q: Sorry, but you'll have to leave Eden now *snickers*

Day 5 of Troi prepping for the command exam

Robert: We don't go in for any of you new fangled contraptions. Still mashed by yous truly, with good old fashioned feet.

Worf: We should warn you friends that their tobacco pipes with set off the fire suppression system too

O'Dell: No need to be concerned, my good man. That's not tobacco

 

[Finn]

Worf: May I help you, sir?
O'Dell: Aye, mate. Scotch, neat.
Worf: There you go, sir.
O'Dell: Thank you.
(takes a drink)
O'Dell: What in blazes is this?
Worf: Didn't you order Scotch?
O'Dell: Mate, I was drinking Scotch centuries before you were born and I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not Scotch.
Picard: I believe I may be of some assistance. Mr. O'Dell is unaware of the existence of synthehol.
O'Dell: Synthehol?
Picard: Yes, mister. It is an alcohol substitute now being served aboard starships. It simulates the appearance, taste and smell of alcohol, but the intoxicating affects can be easily dismissed.

Picard: I believe Chief O'Brien does keep a limited supply of non-syntheholic products. Perhaps one of them would be to your liking.
(Picard goes behind the console and comes out with a bottle)
SCOTT: What is it?
Picard: It is (looks at bottle) It is (sniffs contents) It is green.
(O'Dell drinks)
O'Dell: Ah!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: Where did these come from?

GEORDI: They're Sevrin Apples from the planet Eden

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Mr. Worf was unable to explain to O'Dell exactly where the beverage had come from, as he had no knowledge of the human term 'urine recyc'.

 

[Triskelion]

O'Dell: I like my whisky like I like my women.
Worf: ...
O'Dell: NOT DRIPPING.
Brenna: WHAT DID HE JUST BLOODY SAY?!!!
Worf: Oh, shit!

 

[Finn]

Picard: Next time I tell you Leadhead will be late with new Caption this contests, don't bet against me, Number One. Now, don't skim on the fermented escargots. They were popular in France after World War III.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

[

Clemonds: So, whaddaya think of my new soccer jersey? Like it?

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!

 

[Catarina]

Pulaski [wincing]: He's preparing himself for the gross eating contests on Survivor:Cardassia