TNG Caption This! #438: Food & Drink

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Take that, Number One!" Award, going to:

Picard: Do you know the difference between me and you, Number 1? I make this look goooooood.

Next, we have the "I'm not the only one who remembers Night Court!" Award, going to:

Picard: ...as you can see from the video, 'Bob Wheeler' appears 6 times in court. We know your head was around in the 20th Century. Explain yourself Mr. Data.

Next, we have the "Outstanding Achievement in Therapy" Award, going to:

Deanna: If broccoli is one of you're favourite foods, I don't see what the problem is.

Next, we have the "Mission of Peace" Award, going to:

Picard: No, wait. Let's not put up our shields yet. We don't want to appear threatening to the Murderdeathkillians.

Next, we have the "Dirty Thoughts" Award, going to:

Troi: I sensed that...!

Our Photoshop award, goes to:

Counselor Troi is on vacation. I'm her replacement. My name is Matt Foley and I am a motivational speaker. So, let me give you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about. First up, I am 35 years old. I am divorced and I live in a van down by the river.

First Officer's Log: If it wasn't for the moving furniture injury from my first year at the Academy, I'd put up my foot on this end of the Ops station.

Riker: Sir, I'm sensing Troi has to sneeze.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, going forward to our new contest, with Thanksgiving on the way and many people getting their supplies for the big dinner ready, lets have a tasty contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Picard to Worf, take Commander Riker to the brig and begin table manners lessons immediately.

Troi: That witch who gave me this apple was so nice...

Data: Q, perhaps this would be a good time to discuss the concept of indigestion.

Picard: Robert, we're having a Napa Valley Merlot? We live on a vineyard!!!

Worf liked to get the "Drunk Uncles" drunk before Thanksgiving dinner and then watch the results on the security monitors.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

*reading a letter from Robert*

"...oh, and I almost forgot. If you still have the 2362, get rid of it. I learned from Rene that he didn't always wash his hands when he picked the grapes that year...."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Even the Bringloidi were taken aback by the "Fair Haven" holoprogram.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI:...and keep them coming. You've no idea the type of day I've had!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Number one, show her your 'Promotion Face'..."

Picard: "Ah, counselor, show me again how you got your promotion..."

Picard: "Attention all female personnel: let me show you what you'll have to wear -- only what you'll have to wear -- to get your promotion..."

Picard: "What the fuck? Mr. Worf, who is this man?"

Worf: "I do not know, sir, but he says he wants a promotion, 'If you know what I mean...'. He also wants to know if you are enjoying your special drink."

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW LH!

Picard: I don't know who's worst - you on Valentine's Day or Chief O'Brien on St Patrick's Day!
Riker & O'Brien: IT'S FREE!

Troi: Has Spot been there...the whole time?

Waitress: I just realized we could just bring all the food on Monday and take the rest of the week off.
Waiter: You go ahead, I won't be here. That Irish guy told me to go kill myself, so now I have to do it.
Waitress: What a pity you never got any more meaning out of your life than being a dressed like a child and serving assholes too lazy to walk to the hole in the wall and get their free food from the replicator ON THEIR WAY INTO THE ROOM.
Waiter: Or apparently figured out what the humanoid eating capacity is before they asploded.
Guinan: Get the fuck out of my bar Shields and Yarnell.

Worf: I like my bloodwine like I like my women.
DRUNKEN IRISHMAN: Very young and very sweet?
Worf: No - flat.
DRUNKEN IRISHMAN: Check please!

Picard: Beverly, if you've got the wine, I've got your cork!

...

- That's what I should have said.

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[T'Girl]

Odell: "That was good, what is this?
Worf: "Prune juice."
Odell: "Ahh, where's the bathroom?"
Worf: "Evolved beings of the 24th century no longer need "bathrooms."
Odell: "Uh ohhh.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Troi, thinking: ...wax.

Picard: Concord Grape Juice?!

Worf: Christmas a humbug, captain? You don't mean it.

Picard: There's a fly in this soup.
Ambassador Goldblum: Help meeeeee! Help meeeee!
Riker: SO THAT'S where he went! I lost him as soon as we came in here.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

VOICE: One in four adults suffer from halitosis.

TROI: Damn it, this apple has emotions. Now I can't finish it.

TROI: I'll have the usual.

PICARD: Delicious. What is it?
ROBERT: Klingon bloodwine barrel aged imperial porter.
PICARD: I'm going to give it a 4.5 on beer advocate.

WORF: Captain. I can't figure out whether I should consider this portrayal of the Irish offensive or not.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the Win, and Happy (Early) Thanksgiving!

Picard: Doctor, far be it for me to tell you how to do your job, but isn't it ill-advised for Commander Riker to eat so much?

Pulaski: You're right, he is a wet blanket.

Troi: It worked for Kaylee and strawberries.

Waiter: Where did my life go so wrong?

Picard: Personal Log--I forgot how much I hate our crappy wine.

Worf: Sir, I must protest, I am NOT one of the Doctor's Companions!

Danilo Odell: Jelly baby vodka?

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Oh dear. The wild hamsters have gotten into the stompery again.

Picard: You keep eating like that, you're gonna mess up your finale time travel missions.
Riker: I'm sure the writers could take five seconds to come up with a workaround like, I don't know, that Quantum Leap guy. He could look however the fuck he wanted but the in-universe characters saw only who they expected to see. Surely they'll be aware of that show, right? They'd have to be high on whiteout to overlook a stupid-assed detail like that, I mean, right? Quantum Leap guy?? Heard of it??

 

[Leviathan]

Picard: You need to cut back, in 25 years you'll be the size of a house.
Riker: ...hey Jabba got Leia into that bikini, not Han.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Problem, doctor?

PULASKI: Yes. For some reason, Riker has mistaken my biological specimen collection for a buffet table.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.
Riker: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.
Picard: Neither will your career, if you keep turning down ships.

 

[T'Girl]

Waiting for the inevitable photoshop.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Before Kaylee and the strawberry, there was...

 

[ThankQ]

Irish prune juice. A war*hic*riors drink.

 

[Leviathan]

Due to a tragic case of mistaken identity the small but tasty ambassadors from Sundae IV were never seen again.

 

[hux]

Picard: How's it going doctor.

Pulaski: Well, he's mastered drinking but eating is still causing him some difficulty.

Troi: Can't believe I never notice that apple tree in my quarters until now.

Waitress: I'm so glad that I chose to better myself by serving food to people.

Waiter: Yes, I am also glad. And to think I almost bettered myself by becomimg a highly respected scientist.

Picard: I wonder what Riker's doing right now. I bet he's being a dick

Danilo: I don't like the look of that leprechaun.

Worf: Yes, Wesley is annoying. Just keep drinking and you will be numb to the pain of his existence.