TNG Caption This! #431: Fall Down Funny

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Devastating System Failure" Award, going to:

Picard: I'm afraid the ice cream station will have to remain closed until we get this under control.

Next, we have the "NOT COOL Jean-Luc" Award, going to:

Data: "At this speed, Q is less than a micro-second behind us."

Picard: "Mr. Data, immediately dump the contents of both the liquid and the solid waste storage tanks."

Q (os): "Arrggggggggggggggg."

Next, we have the "And I bet they're using plastic bags, too" Award, going to:

Most. Wasteful. Paper towel dispensers. Ever.

Next, we have the "I guess he wants you to drive them away, too" Award, going to:

Riker: Don't hide, we just want to introduce you to a decent hairdresser!

Next, we have the "But remember, It is mostly a family friendly show..." Award, going to:

Troi: "They're holding tentacles."

Data: "Actually, Counselor, I believe that is a form of reproduction..."

Picard: "Screen off! SCREEN OFF!"

Our Photoshop Award, going to:

I decided that we needed two KBL's this time around, so here are our winners!

Picard: This killer is...cold hearted.

*Cue the intro to CSI: The Next Generation, a remix of The Who's "My Generation" plays*

And...

Picard: We'll beam down to the alien planet as soon as these redshirts you got out of cold storage are defrosted.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Some business to attend to:

First, I'd like to send many more kudos to dstyer for giving me another great suggestion for a contest theme! With summer over and fall now here, our heroes will have to come face to face with the floor, or the ground or other hard surfaces!

Second, I wanted to say a great big thank you to everyone who is always here, posting, reading, contributing to these contests. Today, I've officially been posting on the TrekBBS for 15 years. I continue to feel the love from this board and everyone who posts on it. I've also been running caption contests for a little over 5 years now, time really flies and it's still a great thing to do. I know I've said it before, but I can't count the number of times, I needed a smile or a laugh on a tough day and you all came through for me. Thank you all for continuing to make this place a fantastic place to be.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: What happened?

Goldshirt: The entire senior staff was abducted while you were taking a nap, Sir.

Worf: So, what you're saying is... I'm in command now?

Picard: I was having the strangest dream... and NONE of you were there!

La Forge: So that's where the ants are coming in from...

Worf: Never mind the extras! Is La Forge okay?

Crusher: Are you falling for me now, Jean-luc?

 

[Finn]

Geordi: Okay, this game is getting old. Dinner is cold and the champagne is all fizzed out.... where are you, Leah?

 

[shivkala]

TFTW!

Goldshirt: Sir, are you sure about this?

Worf: Yes. Now, commence with the boudoir photos I intend to send to Counselor Troi to convince her I am a better suitor than Commander Riker.

Crusher: So, you were living out your life on some planet that was about to be destroyed?

Picard: Yes! And, for some reason, my son was trying to build a craft to save his baby son by launching it towards Earth where the yellow solar radiation would give it super powers.

Riker: Sir, what exactly is in your Earl Grey?

Engineering Lt.: Sir, what are you doing?

Geordi: Limbering up in case I have to roll under the blast doors again. I'm trying to beat my record.

Worf: That is not how you plank!

Crusher: I thought you said you were a good dancer?!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CREWMAN: Get your ass kicked again, sir?

CRUSHER: And you're sure this species communicates through square dancing?

PICARD: It might have been metaphors.

LAFORGE: And I'm.....Crap, the door's on the other side of the room!

 

[Smellincoffee]

John Pickard: I had the strangest dream that I was French.
Crusher: You spoke French?
John Pickard: No, that was the silly thing. I spoke exactly like a good Yorkshireman. Maybe I threw in a merde or two.
Crusher: Maybe it was those crois-..... crosi-.... French bread thingies.

Geordi: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CONTACTS? I'm BLIND without them!

Worf: I am sorry. It was the cabbage. You, good yeoman. You have a constitution of steel.
Goldshirt: I have a cold, actually.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (groggily): "Beverly? Number One? Oh, I must be having that dream again! But...why are we all wearing clothes this time?"
Beverly: "TMI, Jean-Luc."

 

[Finn]

Riker: April's fools. This is only the holodeck. She's not the real Dr. Crusher, Sir...

Picard:...So he's not ....my...

Riker:...No, sir

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Wha ... what happened?"

Beverly: "Carefuly, Jean-Luc, you had a nasty spill and hit your head on the captain's chair arm rests sticking out."

Picard: "Oh. But why is my shirt open and my pants down?"

Beverly: "You need to lie down and rest, Mr. Worf isn't done yet."



Picard: "Mr. LaForge, are they doing it yet?"

Geordi: "Not yet."

 

[Triskelion]

T4TBLA, Illusive Man!

Up first, we have the "Unsung Hero Award", going to:

LEADHEAD (The Illusive Man)

Second, I wanted to say a great big thank you to everyone who is always here, posting, reading, contributing to these contests. Today, I've officially been posting on the TrekBBS for 15 years. I continue to feel the love from this board and everyone who posts on it. I've also been running caption contests for a little over 5 years now, time really flies and it's still a great thing to do. I know I've said it before, but I can't count the number of times, I needed a smile or a laugh on a tough day and you all came through for me. Thank you all for continuing to make this place a fantastic place to be.

Congratulations on 15 year anniversary! And thanks for continuing to provide a venue for all this funny business. I much agree with the lines in bold.

Worf's personal log, stardate 47765.3. I am returning from the Roller Dance Tournament on the Enterprise. The conditions were difficult. Several contestants were maimed. But I was triumphant. I won Champion Falling.

Picard: But it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you...and you were there. But you couldn't have been could you? No, Number One, this was a real truly live place and I remember some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful--but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was "I want to beam up," and they beamed me up! Doesn't anybody believe me? But anyway, Data, we're beamed up! Beamed up. And this is my bridge, and you're all here and I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again. Because you all make it so. And... Oh Number One! There's no place like the Neutral Zone!

Beverly: He's hammered.

Geordi: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.............
Picard: MISTER LAFORGE WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?!
Geordi: Romulan ships approaching, sir. Two, no three warbirds. Two of them are cloaked. One has disruptors armed.

Picard <com>: Worf, has your security team found whoever is sending photocopies of their privates all over the ship?
Worf: We're still working on it, sir.

Beverly: Jean Luc! Why would you invite me to Earl Grey and kway-sawnts on the rim of an active volcano?
Picard: No reason!


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[tharpdevenport]

Worf: "Ensigns, try to control yourself, I know I said the first person to find where I plugged my cellphone in would be with honor, but as you can see at the bottom left of the picture, we have found the cord."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "So...none of it was real? It was all just a dream? Like that Dallas thing?"
Beverly: "I think it would sound more classy if you said, 'like that Wizard of Oz thing.'"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: In the 23rd Century they could do a quick diagnosis with one tiny saltshaker sized scanner...

CRUSHER: Shut up, we're more advanced now!!!!

 

[joededman]

Worf: <sigh> Just not the same when Deanna's wearing a jumpsuit.

Worf: That is NOT the way to manipulate the console.

Beverley never could refuse Jean-Luc when he asked her to dance, but the uneven floor of a steamy jungle really wasn't the best place for a polka.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Come on, Beverly! I mean, how often do we get a chance to jump into some bushes for a little jamaharon!"
Beverly: "Whoa, hold on there, Quickdraw! How about a little romantic persuasion first?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Come on, Beverly! I mean, how often do we get a chance to jump into some bushes for a little jamaharon!"
Beverly: "Whoa, hold on there, Quickdraw! How about a little romantic persuasion first?"

Picard: "Like what?"

Beverly: "Well, I was thinking maybe we'd wait around ten years, then I'd marry you, then we'd have a little fun, then I'd divorce you but keep your last name and then get my own ship, as a stepping stone to getting away from you."

Picard: "So your'e saying I'll get to have sex with you?"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

WORF: That's it! I'm just going to sit here until the Captain actually takes one of my suggestions.

PICARD: You mean...I was on the Enterprise the whole time? Wow. I barely even remember all of your names much less Starfleet protocols or any kind of situational details. I may never even get back to being fit for duty.

GEORDI: Wait a minute. I'm out of phase with normal matter. Why aren't I falling through the floor? And why can I breathe? None of this makes any sense!

ENGINEER: Ugh...I don't get it! It was only synthehol!
WORF: Worf to Captain. Wesley has been messing with the replicator programming again.

PICARD: Take that, evil robot Beverly! That's right! Picard can do fisticuffs too!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Explanation, crewman?

CREWMAN: Just following Lt. Commander La Forge's example, sir.

 

[T'Girl]

T'Pol: "My eyes are up here."

Trip: **She has eyes?**

 

[dief25]

Crusher: Captain, you really shouldn't drink trany-
Picard: Yes fine, whatever. Am I at least wearing pants this time?