TNG Caption This! #427: Doorway to Captioning

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New Contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Great First Officer" Award, going to:

Riker: Reporting for wing man duties Sir!

Picard: Not out loud number one!

Crusher: No... it's working.

Picard: Carry on.

Next, we have the "Clever Enemies" Award, going to:

DATA: Data to Captain. I fear the energy being has evolved to a state where it may consider just knocking over the table.

Next, we have the "Important Final Messages" Award, going to:

Romulan: Tell my *cough* Tell my wife. Tell her *cough* Tell my wife this is the colour I want the bathroom done in.

Next, we have the "Perspective" Award, going to:

Ro: "Hey! I heard that, you creeps!"
Riker: "They're talking about me."
Ro: "Oh. Never mind!"

Next, we have the "Did you break it already?" Award, going to:

Riker: Riker to Picard. Sorry sir, there's no sign of that damn fourth wall down here, either!

Two Photoshop Wins this week, first winner is...

Our second winner, actually made me go "Squee!" Like I did when my parents bought this for me as a kid...

GEORDI: This is it...

DATA: What?

GEORDI: A mint condition Playmates TNG transporter toy from the 1990s.

DATA: No box?

GEORDI: I hate you.

Worf: "Well I was having second thoughts about letting you die like the stubborn jackass that I am, but then you had to go and invade my personal space."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest that I hope [Bad Pun] opens the door to good captioning. [/Bad Pun]

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: If you find anyone back there, tell them to get their lazy butts onto the bridge.

Picard: (over comm) Bridge to Transporter Room 3. Why hasn't the Away Team beamed down yet?

O'Brien: Just a moment, Captain. Riker will tap out of the staring contest any second.

Data: Spot, how did you lock me in?

Worf: Computer, override safety protocol 108 and close that door.

Picard: I wonder if I should install a mailslot.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: See. He just stands here all day waiting for someone to ask to be transported.

 

[Nerys Myk]

K'EHLYR: You were wearing protection, right?

WORF: uh....sure.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Riker: "Worf, I consider you one of my closest friends. Can I confide in you? I think Deanna is seeing someone else on the ship behind my back."
O'Brien (thinking): "Yikes!"

K'Ehleyr: "All right! I'll be back! In the Sailor Moon outfit! But you owe me for this!"

Picard: "Computer, change door signage from 'Dixon Hill, Private Investigator' to 'Dixon Hill, Private Eye.' No! Better still, 'Dixon Hill, Private Dick'!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Always have a back up plan.

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Don't go away mad, Doctor! *quietly to himself*, just go away.

Riker: ...such a bitch! He's just not the same.

Worf: Agreed. She has effectively castrated Chief O'Brien.

O'Brien: Guys, I'm right here.

Riker: Just a second, Chief, we're talking about you as if you were not here.

Geordi: *Engineer's Personal Log-I really hate when Data acts out the "Doomsday" episode of Doctor Who and makes me play Rose.

K'Ehlyr: Well if you won't, I'll go find Commander Riker. He's always DTF.

Picard: If role-playing a private dick doesn't get me laid, nothing will!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

BEVERLY: You mean there's a bathroom on the bridge now?
PICARD: Yes. I don't know how we could possibly have room for them if we had a thousand crew members.
BEVERLY: Maybe the universe is better this way.

O'BRIEN: I am so sick of always being on the front lines of every major galactic conflict. Maybe I will take that job on DS9.

DATA: It's no use! I still can't get it open!
PICARD: Data, that's a wall. Not a door.
RIKER: *sigh* I'll write a bug report.

WORF: You lied to me. Klingons can have sex without taking their clothes off.
K'ELYHR: Yes. And they do age three years every year.

PICARD: Dixon Hill?! I can't do Shakespeare quotes as Dixon Hill! Computer, end program!

 

[Nebusj]

Picard: ``No, the bathroom is the other door. That one's storage.''
Crusher: ``You maybe should've told the crew that like five years ago.''

Riker: ``You're right. O'Brien's iPod Nano has grown way out of control.''

The rare Androidian Doorknob Meld!

K'Ehleyr: ``Fine, but if I walk out that door ... and that other door that's also there for some reason ... you'll never know why my back-breast is so much more angular and pointy than my front-breast!''

Picard: ``A strange, savage era. One where the only fonts they had made the O's slightly too large.''

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: He's curled up in a ball and crying.

PICARD: Perhaps I was a bit harsh on the young man.

CRUSHER: I'm sure Worf will get over it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Bridge. Emergency over ride: Deck 14. Corridor 32. Hatch 56A.

WORF: What's going on?

DATA: Geordi mistimed his "in before the lock barrel roll" again.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Beverly: Nope, they're still at it.

Picard: Evidently, I should do surprise visits on the night shift more often!

Riker: Wait, I thought I was accompanying Troi to Risa.

 

[Finn]

WORF: See. He just stands here all day waiting for someone to ask to be transported.

O'Brien: *mutters* Better than putting up with Keiko literally kicking me out of the bed whenever Molly cries.

 

[Mojochi]

Picard often activated the site to site transport when people bored him in his office

Riker: Yeah, right. You got about as much chance of getting a promotion before me as O'Brien here

In the event of a structural integrity failure, Data was assigned to holding walls in place

K'Ehleyr: Take the vow? Ha! That's the last thing I need is to be tied to you the rest of my life!

It took an hour, but the computer finally understood that Picard wasn't saying "Dicks on hill"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

"Captain's personal log. I have been using the new Dixon Hill holodeck simulation for several weeks now and have enjoyed it immensely. However, though originally quite entertaining, snapping dirty photographs of cheatng wifes is beginning to get boring. I think I'll ask the computer to come up with something a little more challenging."

 

[Hutchy01]

Riker: The door fucking disease is spreading , First it got Laforge now data has it!

Picard: If this was Data's office it would say 'Dixon on door'!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Data: "Geordi."

Geordi: "Data."

Data: "Geordi!"

Geordi: "Data!"

Data: "GEORDI!"

Geordi: "DATA!!!"



LOVE: Only a a bulk head and a wall kept them apart.

 

[Avro Arrow]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Picard: Now, doctor?
Crusher: We're almost there. Adjust course a bit to starboard, then apply thrusters for a couple seconds.
Picard: Thank you for your assistance, doctor.
Crusher: Just get the damn viewscreen fixed, Jean-Luc!

O'Brien (singing softly): ♫ Killing senior officers, beaming them out to spaaace... ♫
Riker and Worf: You can go first!

Data: I do not understand why I cannot open this door painted onto the wall, when that roadrunner clearly did so!

K'ehleyr: Are you going to be on TrekBBS *all* night!?
Worf: It is a new caption contest! I must think of something funny!

Picard: This door is without honor!

K'Ehleyr: Oh, well done, Worf. You sprain something coming up with that?

 

[Triskelion]

^LOL

Bev: Well Jean Luc, I realize you want to open up this space to create a flow - but I think this is a load-bearing wall.
Picard: I knew I should have called Guinan first. She at least listens to my interior decorating ideas.

Worf: You're going to the IKS Pagh? I though - naturally - I would be the one doing the officer exchange -
Riker: Sorry, you were the fifth choice - after me, Geordi, Troi - and O'Brien, here.
Worf: The hell??
O'Brien: Well you know, the Captain thought the Klingons wouldn't want anyone threatening their standing with their women.
Worf: Oh. I suppose that makes sense.
O'Brien: Or their style consultants.
Worf: I HEARD THAT!

Data: Spot! Go get help, girl!
...
Sigh. I do not think she is going to get help, much less convince anyone i locked myself in my own collector's box.

Worf: How do you spell your name, anyway?
K'Ehleyr: It's spelled just like it sounds.
Worf: K-E-H -
K'Ehleyr: No, you forgot the apostrophe.
Worf: K-Apostrophe-A -
K'Ehleyr: No, it starts with an "E".
Worf: THAT IS NOT HOW IT SOUNDS!
K'Ehleyr: Well look under "K", I'm sure you'll find it near the front of the list!
Worf: Let's see... Kadi ...Kaelons ...Kaitlen ...Kalandans ...Kanda IV natives ...Kantare ...Karemman‏‎ - look, it's not here!
K'Ehleyr: It has to be there somewhere, keep going!
Worf: ...Kataan natives‏‎ ...Kazon‏‎ ...Kazon starship classes‏ ‎...Kellerun ‏‎...Kelvans‏‎ ...Kesat‏‎ ...Kesprytt‏‎ ...Key Art Award nominees‏‎ ...Key Art Award winners‏‎ ...Klaestrons‏‎ ...Klingon Houses‏‎ ...Klingon military personnel‏‎ ...Klingon starship classes ...Klingon starships‏‎ ...Klingonese‏‎ ...Kobali‏ ‎...Kobheerians‏‎ ...Kobliad‏‎ ...Kohl‏‎ ...Kolaati‏‎ ...Kostolain natives‏‎ ...Kradin‏‎ ...Kraylor‏‎ ...Kreetassans‏‎ ...Krenim‏‎ ...Kressari‏‎ ...Kriosians‏‎ ...Ktarians‏‎ ...Kurlans‏‎ ...Kyrians‏‎ ...Kzinti - That's all of them.‏‎
K'Ehleyr: What? That can't be all!
Worf: Are you sure it starts with a "K"?
K'Ehleyr: Of course I'm sure! What do I look like, some kind of sash-wearing doofus who can't remember how to spell a name?
Worf: Well, are you sure you're saying it right?
K'Ehleyr: "K'Ehlayr". "Kay-Lair." "Kell-Air." "C'Laire." Crap, now I've said it so many times it's lost all meaning. At least it's not "Worf, Son of Mogh!"
Worf: Oh here it is. It was filed under H, for "High Maintenance Shrews of the Federation!"

Picard: I wonder whose office this is?


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Hutchy01]

Riker: Look you are a Klingon but does Deanna need to compare the sizes on the bridge.

Data: I will not leave my quarters until I am assured I will not have to meet any more cadets. (Seriously if you read the books he explicitly met young Janeway was alluded to meeting seven of nine and many other future main characters)