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TNG Caption This! #389: Full Attention

LeadHead

Director of Comedy
Premium Member
Hello everyone! Thanks to the holiday weekend, I have the chance to start a contest early for once!


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First up to the plate, we have the "Family Dynamics" Award, going to:

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Robert: Over the teeth, past the gums, look out stomach, here in comes

Picard: I really must be adopted

Next, we have the "No Win Scenario" Award, going to:

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Data: "Shouldn't that be cooked before we consume it?"
Riker: "I've tried that. It doesn't help."

Next, we have the "Difficult Meals" Award, going to:

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Riker: Man, it's going to be so awkward sitting through dinner waiting for you to tell Pulaski that you're having her transferred.

Picard: I know, Number One, but we'll all be much happier once Beverly's back.

Pulaski: I'm sitting right here!

Next, we have the "Big Party!" Award, going to:

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Data: Thank you for joining us this evening, Wesley. The party to celebrate your departure may now commence.

Wesley: Wait, WHAT?

Next, we have the "Proper Analysis" Award, going to:

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Data: Sir, there is a fly in my soup? What is it doing there?

Picard: Looks like the backstroke!

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"Captain's Log, Supplemental: I'm beginning to regret my decision to appear as a guest judge on Top Chef: Romulus.

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Riker: Oh yes, me and Ensign Lucas made some good memories in this chair.

And Ensign Smith.

And Lt. JG Griffith.

And Commander Shelby.

Worf: Remind me to sit in a different chair in future meetings.


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!


SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

With the holiday season kicking off, I'm hoping to do some special awards for the occasion. Awards like the Jean-Luc's favorite log award or the Klingon Belly Laugh. Between being busy and having no photoshop skills, I wanted to open submissions for these special awards, as another way to showcase the great creativity of the people we have here. For those of you without Photoshop ability but having a great idea, I use PicFont.com for creating the KBL and other weekly images in my contests.

If you want to submit something, I request that you PM it to me, rather than post it here just so the group can have the enjoyment of the surprise when it is used in a contest.

As for inspiration, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, anything that fits with those is encouraged, examples: Santa hats on the crew, reindeer on screen, Happy New Year hats, etc. but if you have something that doesn't fit that mold, send it on to me. I'll likely use it in the future.

As with everything else in this contest, it's purely voluntary :rommie:

Hope that everyone is having a safe and happy start to this season!

And now, the new contest!

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Enjoy!
 
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Dathon: Darmok and Jelad at Tanagra.

Data: Are you really going to make Me be the one to talk to these guys?!

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La Forge: Sorry Dirgo, according to these readouts, this shuttle will crash the minute the Enterprise conveniently leaves the area.

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Worf: Is the door sufficiently stunned yet?

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Riker: (To Guinan) Then I'll learn how to fly, you are the heart in my day and the soul in my night.

Data: Lame.

La Forge: I could do better.

Pulaski: Get some game, Commander.

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Picard: So we're agreed. As part of the Acamarian Reunification agreement, the Federation will declare war on the Klingon Empire.
 
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DATHAN: Piper and Alex in prison. Piper, craving adventure!
PICARD: He's coming on to me, isn't he?

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GEORDI: This can't be right. Every single caption for this picture is about me striking out with women!

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RIKER: Careful with your Schwartz! We don't want to get them tangled.

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DATA: Inquiry. The Commander described his music as 'Smooth jazz', and yet, the music is jerky and awkward.
TROI: How do I explain this? Humans' sense of self is established when they are children. And some humans' parents give them way too much praise.

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PICARD: Well. This conflict has been going on for centuries. I'm sure we can come to a solution some time in the next week.
 
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Play screeches to a halt while everyone waits for the line judges to issue their ruling ... and, there, they've ruled the development consistent with the premise as established and not, repeat not, an original plot hole. All characters are to continue from where the appeal was filed.


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``Okay, this is definitely the chair the directions were pointing me to, now, I'm supposed to throw the green switch ... done ... and I hop up on the chair and call out the mystic cry of 'Owaa Tagoo Siam' ... boy, this is the weirdest treasure map ever.''


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Worf: ``We can't stop it! Our phasers just go right through the net!''


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Data: ``Inquiry. While I am aware of the custom of making an obscene display of one's body as a comic insult to colleagues, is it not inconsistent with that custom to make such a display after you submitted to Command that letter rejecting the Aries?''
Riker: ``Wait, which letter did I send them again?''


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Worf: ``Personal log. I have always held the Captain to be a formidable statesman but even I had never imagined he could broker a peace starting merely from the proposal that both sides begin to use their trash bins as trash bins rather than fireplaces.''
 
TFTW, LeadHead!

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Data: "If I may pose a question, Mrs. O'Brien, since all of our food is replicated as needed, why would we even need air-tight, resealable, plastic containers to keep it fresh?"
 
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Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

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Data: Captain, we are being hailed by the Tamarian vessel. They wish to know if we have heard the "good news".
 
Thanks for the win :)

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Data: Captain, I believe you're in error. Temba's arms should only be wide when "Simon says"

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Geordi: Computer, initiate level one sensor sweep for any other... Whoopee Cushions

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Riker: They've got a pretty serious cockroach problem down here

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Data: What specific areas of his anatomy should I "Bust Up" first, Doctor?

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Captain's Log: I have reservations about which crew member I've selected for the tambourine solo
 
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DATHON: Picard, his surrender accepted.

DATA: It seems your reputation has preceded you, Captain.
 
Thanks for the win, Leadhead, I hope your Thanksgiving was a good one!
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Picard: Captain's Log, supplemental. We have begun communicating with the Tamarians, who, apparently only speak in metaphors, making them the third most troublesome race to communicate with. They rank behind the annoyance of dumb-ing things down for the Pakleds and the frustration of talking in memes to the Redditors.

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LaForge: Engineer's log: I have followed the directions from Starbase Ikea, but I swear I have leftover pieces. Have they included them in case you lose some, or have I missed a step? And it's not like these directions are super-helpful, either!

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Riker: Worf, halt! There's a doorbell. Maybe we should try that first.

Worf: Ringing a doorbell is without honor.

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Data: Sir? You didn't answer the question.

Riker: What do you mean, Data?

Data: "Turn down for what?" I admit the question is oddly phrased, as I am unsure what it is you are turning down, but, still, I am interested in the reasoning behind turning it down.

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Worf: ..and an M&M McFlurry.

Picard: Did you order my McFlurry, Mr. Worf?!

Worf: Yes, sir, I have. But this drive-through speaker does not seem to be functioning, sir!

Picard: You may have to go to the McSpacedonalds three blocks down, then. Oh and ask if they can put an extra cherry on top.

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/
 
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PICARD: I think this charade has gone far enough.

DATA: It would help if the clues you gave made sense.
 
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Data: Sir, the Tamarians are demanding to know what has happened to caption contest #388.

Dathon: LeadHead, his caption skipped. Shaka, when the forums fell!
 
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