TNG Caption This! #357: Exciting times!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Time to start a new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Leadership by example" Award, going to:

Riker: The key to making it in Star Fleet is to be alert, to be constantly on your toes ready to spring into action at a seconds notice, to spot the small clues that can lead to the bigger picture. Once you've learnt that you'll be ready for promotion Ensign.

Ensign?

Next, we have the "Human Behavior I hope he was NOT designed to emulate" Award, going to:

Data: "Inquiry... Gangbang?"

Next, we have the "Medical Evaluation" Award, going to:

Beverly: "You really need to stop drinking prune juice!"

Next, we have the "Ruined recreation" Award, going to:

Picard: "Of course Admiral, we'll be happy to make a chair available at the poker game when you arrive."

Riker thinking: "Son of a...you didn't."

Next, we have the "LeadHead's one weakness has been discovered!" Award, going to:

DATA: GINGER ALE!?!?
WORF: Another warrior drink!

Our photoshop award, goes to:

TROI: Dammit, Will! Stop surfing and pick one!

Second Officer's Log: My 47th attempt at having dreams about Tasha has failed. Those dreams with Geordi, Counselor Troi and Worf would be described by most Humans as very disturbing.

Worf: Data, you are under arrest. There are no tags on that mattress!

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

I really enjoyed our little trip through past photos, but now, it's time to get some new ones up for the contest!

Enjoy!

 

[T'Girl]

Crusher (to Worf):

I'd slap the shit out of her, but I don't want to get slut all over my hand.

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Why do we even have daylight savings time on a starship?

Riker: Tasha, beam this keg back to where it came from! I ordered imported beer!

La Forge: Why do you have a USB drive in there?

Portal: Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-aided Enrichment Center.

Picard: Ardra, not on the bridge.

Crusher: Jean-Luc!

Picard: I... er.. mean no.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: Lieutenant, your sex toys have NO place on this starship.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Make a note, Mr. Worf. After last night, we now have a new Prime Directive: 'Never go out drinking with Montgomery Scott'!"
Riker: "Amen to that!"

 

[Armored Saint]

A Canada Dry for Leadhead!

DATA: Be cautious Geordi, I do not want to have a Vulcan haircut.
GEORDI: Trust your barber!

RIKER: I said Red Ale! Not Ginger Ale!

WORF: BITCH!
CRUSHER: Wait, isn't supposed to be a caption made by T'Girl?

GEORDI: There it is! The Bridge of Death!
TASHA: Oh great, now they make Monty Python's references.

 

[Nerys Myk]

After about an hour, Worf's speeches on Klingon honor began to wear thin.

GEORDIE: What are your thoughts on a Fade?

DATA: I am satisfied with my current hair style. Why do you ask?

GEORDIE: Uh...no reason.

You shall not pass!

 

[jep]

Data: "This play sucks. I fail to comprehend why Geordi recommended it."

John Wilkes LaForge: "Happy birthday, Mr. President."



.

 

[Nebusj]

Stardate: Monday morning, am I right folks?

Riker: K'Nex? But the Federation has always been on the Lincoln Logs standard!

``Geordi, I am not certain this is the correct way to apply lipstick to me.''

Data: o/` If I only head a heart … o/`
Yar: o/` A home … o/`
Riker: o/` A beard … o/`
LaForge: o/` Some eyes … o/`
Worf: o/` A phaser. o/`

Picard: ``Well, I hadn't thought about recasting Lwuxana Troi, but if we are doing this … um … is Gene hearing any of this?''

 

[Gepard]

"Data, when someone asks if you're a Starfleet officer...YOU SAY 'YES'!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

LaForge: "I may be the minority character, and I'm wearing a red shirt, but I've seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, and seeing as I'm blind, I'm safe. You guys are screwed though."

 

[Armored Saint]

Good one Jep!

PICARD: Do you know anything about a radiation surge?
WORF: Only the size of my head!
PICARD: I know what you mean

WORF: Is there any regulations about sudden weddings without priest on a bridge?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Ardra: Jean-Luc, your palm says that you will one day be promoted to Admiral and command the Fifth Fleet. Oh yes, and you will phaser the next person who pronounces the word "croissant" incorrectly.

Beverly: I heard that!!

Wizard: What is your name?

Riker: William Riker.

Wizard: What is your quest?

Riker: We seek the Holy Tail.

Wizard: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Klingon?

Worf: Which do you mean? HemQuch or QuchHa' Klingon?

Wizard: Uh...I don't know that...AAAAIIIEEE!!!!

 

[LeadHead]

Ardra: Jean-Luc, your palm says that you will one day be promoted to Admiral and command the Fifth Fleet. Oh yes, and you will phaser the next person who pronounces the word "croissant" incorrectly.

Beverly: I heard that!!

Worf: What is a craw-sannnt? Oh Shi-

 

[Alrik]

Thanks for the win LH!

Riker: "Didn't Kirk run into something like this when he crossed The Great Barrier back in 2287?"

LaForge to the Ferengi: "You guys might want to get off of those rocks."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "What a lovely gown. Is that a Bill Blass?"
Ardra: "I've got a little Bill Theiss number in my quarters, if you're interested."

 

[jep]

Ardra: "Thank you Captain, I'd enjoy having dinner with y... (Slurp) ... but, I'm afraid I must decline. I need to.... discuss something with Mr Worf. Yeah, that's it."

Picard: "Damnit Worf!"

Beverly: "Can I come too?"


.

 

[Holdfast]

A hairy theme for my captions this week:

RIKER (thinking): I hate running out of conditioner.

cue ironic flashback too:

RIKER: There's enough conditioner in here to last me at least 5 years. No running out for me!

GEORDI: Keep still, I'm buzzcutting the Starfleet Insignia in right now.

RIKER: So... much... hairspray. It's reaching down from orbit into the lower atmosphere. Someone tell Deanna to stop!

ARDRA: You're right; I'm not the Devil. My hair stylist on the other hand? Now she knows how to put me through Hell.

 

[Armored Saint]

ADMIRAL (os): Romulan ale?
PICARD, WORF, RIKER: Château Picard.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

The day Data learned the 'Beers on the wall' song, and adjusted the quantity of beers for the length of the trip.

TASHA: Your shipment of Risan virility cream has arrived, Commander.
RIKER: I swear, this isn't mine!

DATA: Um, Geordi? I would prefer you did not take a blowtorch to my head.
GEORDI: Oh, is this a blowtorch? I thought it was a screwdriver. Heh! My visor has been acting so screwy today. Now, let's get to rewiring your brain.

RIKER: We've found it, the gateway to the Esper world!
DATA: Now all that remains is to make a deal with them before Kefka gets here.
WORF: Oh crap, they're going berserk!

ARDRA (thinking): If I just told the people to make the Enterprise go away they'd be forced to by the prime directive. I shouldn't be too greedy and try to claim a Federation starship with my incredibly fragile scam as well. On the other hand, it is a very nice starship...