TNG Caption This! #355: Time Capsule: Part 6
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Picard: ``And, yes, that settles your account. We do hope you've enjoyed your stay and will consider us in your future hotel needs. Ah, Mister Data, will you please call Captain Jellico a taxi?''
Data: ``Captain Jellico, you are a taxi.''
Picard: ``He's from Barcelona.''
Data: Our cue is considerably early.
Worf: We're not going to fail our Blue Man Group auditions. Quick, set phasers to Andorian!
The first and last episode where the cast drank decaf.
Q: What … but … bow ties have been extinct on Earth ever since the Osgoodite Rebellion!
Riker: The heck … I have a creamy nougat interior!
Picard: "As of Stardate 4675... wait a minute... Stardate 46752.1, I Captain insert name here... What? Hold on... Captain Picard hereby transfer command to Oh Shit! What muppet installed Windows 8.1 on this thing?"
Riker: "What are you waiting for. We have to get out of here."
Worf: "I know sir, but first something has to be done about your nose hair."
Data: "Consider it an intervention."
Troi: "What's that irritating whining noise?"
Data: "Scanning. Ah, Alexander Rozhenko's shuttle has apparently just docked."
Riker: "Oh hell! There goes the neighbourhood."
Q: "Candygram for Mongo"
Worf: "Begone!"
Captain's log supplemental: The security chief has reported his findings, and apparently it was a murder suicide. Will Riker killed Mot and then himself. I saw the haircut. I'd say instead that justice was served, and a tragic depression subsequently took its toll.
DATA: Commander, did you brain explode yet?
RIKER: No, and you?
DATA: Me neither.
"Not even moved out, yet, and what do I find in my Ready Room, amongst your other odds and ends? A personal ad you published with ... No! No ... you don't have to make a grab for it, Captain. You'll be getting this right back, I assure you. Now, let's see ... after a laundry list of 'Great Expectations,' you've written that these women should '...include a RECENT pic, in responding to this ad, or you will be DENIED!!!'. That's interesting, Captain, seeing how the photo you used of yourself dates back to my days on the STARGAZER - before I was in command, of course. Now, where was I? Hmmm ... hmmm ... 'include a recent ...' Oh, yes: 'NO FATTIES!!!' ..."
Captain Jellico has written the crew a goodbye poem:
"Roses are red,
Troi's catsuit is violet,
I boned more vocal chords
Than Riker's jazz quartet."
PICARD: And finally Ed, please accept my apologies for Riker and Troi. No doughnuts and chocolate for them for two weeks. By the way, they suck at drawing elephants.
Riker:
Roses are red,
Travelers are ethereal,
You gave me Valentine's Day
I gave you VD but like Venereal.
Data: No. No. And this from the guy who wrote Ode to Spot.
Picard: Admiral Jellicho would like it to be know that wearing dresses is currently all the rage back on earth,
and that it's us that should be laughed at......also he doesn't appreciate being called Jelly behind his back.
Picard: (off panel) What the hell are you two doing?
Data: Sir, I know this looks bad, but this is how officers advance in rank in the Mirror Universe.
Worf: It will be an honourable death.
Troi: Oh dear, the captain's playing that stupid tin whistle again!
Q: Special delivery for Locutus of Borg, care of Captain Jean Luc Picard. From the Borg Queen?
Jonathan Frakes was said to be very disappointed in the final rendering of the Light Sabre.
"I thought it would be bigger!"
Picard (OS): "What the hell is going on here!"
Data: "Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!"
Picard (OS): "Oh, Christ, forget it! I don't want to know!"
Data has more than a passing resemblance to Christopher Walken. Never noticed that, before ...
This is the parallel universe where Paramount continued to use the same cast for Star Trek and Mission: Impossible.
Dear Q, I want my delivery man uniform back, the 20th century.
Q: I don't understand Jean-Luc, these flowers come from an older woman who's not Lwaxana.
Q:Flowers for Q from Q!
PICARD: I was wondering...when you were no more a Q...how did you know the Q who visited you in the shuttlecraft was Q?
Q: "Dear Q...now that you're human, I present to you this gift of flowers laced with...poison oak. Love, Jean-Luc"
Dear Q, but we're obliged to fire you before your first chippendale shift. You don't even have the good colors for your clothes.
Picard: Undercoating? I'm not paying for that.
RIker: All right, I'll take the sonic Flowbee. Geez, you Ronco people have gotten serious.
Worf: It is a good day to die for our free bonus beard attachments if you purchase in the next five minutes.
Troi: Tremble before my manly beard! I'm not overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy at all!
Riker: I'm the Mother Earth goddess, behold my camel toe of self-empowerment!
Data: Perhaps role reversal therapy was not such a good idea.
TROI: STOP TO THINK ABOUT CHOCOLATE!
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