TNG Caption This! 347: Better than ever

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Sorry I didn't make get this going by sunday night, but since this is a holiday weekend for most, it's still kinda on the weekend...

First up to the plate, we have the "Trial Run" Award, going to:

Riker: I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the stars and all the universe worships the night... You are the heart in my day and...

Picard: Nope still not working. Let's go back and try it with Guinan again

Next, we have "The Klingon who Shagged me" Award, going to:

K'EHLEYR: Worf, I'm late!
WORF: No, you got here right on time.
K'EHLEYR: No, I mean, I'm LAAAATE!

Next, the two top captions for this next photo were both from the same competitor, so I'm making both entries winners!

Picard: "Next time you're in the mood for a little role-playing, I just read a fascinating entry from James Kirk's old Enterprise logs about a place called the 'Mirror Universe' and something called a 'captain's woman.'"

Picard: "I'm sorry, Beverly, but I'm already married...to my ship."
Crusher: "But, Jean Luc, there are things I can give you that the ship can't."
Picard: "No, that was only true before the holodecks were installed."

Next, we have the "Warm-Up Act" Award, going to:

Henshaw: It's so nice of you to keep me company while I wait for Commander Riker to pick me up, Geordi. You're such a sweetie!

Next, we have the "And then he kicked his own tires" Award, going to:

Data attempts to mask his New Car smell ...

The Photoshop Award, goes to:

PICARD: Q was right, Riker's dream woman is Kathy Janeway!

Meanwhile, at Starfleet Academy...

Cadet's Log: We found this weird place somewhere in Uganda over the weekend where there was supposed to be an old Bolian monk living in the jungle. She read my palm and said my mother was with my father now. I tried to get in touch with the Enterprise. But they were out of range. So I am starting to worry

RIKER: It's the Tsiolkovsky virus. Hey, don't laugh, it got him laid once, it can do it again!

Congratulations to all of our winners and many thanks to our all of our competitors!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: Captain, receiving a message from Vash, she is curious if you are still exclusive.

Picard: (thinking) Dangit.

Jono: How breakable is this? Lets find out!

Worf: Sir, it appears that the stream does not actually contain beer.

Riker: Dang, false advertising again.

Picard: Somebody named Neelix said I should try this "Leola root."

Picard: I have not slept with Beverly and may the lord strike me down if I lie-

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: Wrong movie, V'Ger!!!

 

[Armored Saint]

RIKER: Is this really Beverly Hills, mister Worf?
WORF: According to the tricorder, we're on a private property on Beverly Hills. It explains the fake waterfall.
RIKER:O'BRIEN, YOU IDIOT! We were talking about Beverly CRUSHER breasts, not Beverly Hills, Los Angeles.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: O'Brien says your Viagra was just beamed aboard. He wants to know who's quarters to send it to.

 

[Gepard]

Worf: Commander! The hills! They're...alive.

Riker: Some kind of silicon-based lifeform, Lieutenant?

Worf: No, sir. Tricorder indicates it is the sound of music!

 

[Avro Arrow]

Picard was rather dismayed to find Jono handling Picard's rare Kurlan sex toy.

Worf: Sir, the tricorder is indicating this stream contains almost 100% hydrogen oxide! I suspect deliberate contamination!

Riker: <sigh>

Captain's Personal Log, supplemental. Note to self: No matter how much I enjoy Bounty bars, do NOT eat any I find lying around in caves.

Picard: Now, everyone, watch my impersonation of the main deflector dish!

Riker: Uncanny!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTWs, LeadHead!

Data: "Automatic upgrade download for his mechanical heart?"
Troi: "We can only hope, I guess."

 

[Roddenberry]

Picard: Do not get on the turbo lift Mr Worf, that's an order.
Crusher: It doesn't smell that bad Jean-Luc.

Picard: Oh it's awful, I'm calling the fashion police, shoulder pads, leather gloves and that haircut makes me glad I'm bald

Riker: What is it Mr Worf?
Worf: Strange readings sir, the rocks seem to be made of polystyrene and this liquid is Perrier.

Picard: The normal ones are awful biscuits, but these double stuf are far worse.
.

Frakes: Don't worry every one, I've heard this is how the English regnerate.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

In 400 years, Charlie Brown's luck with kites only got worse.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"You just made me throw up in my mouth, a little."

 

[2takesfrakes]

Jono finds the secret button on the faux artifact that plays back a private message from Vash, "Jean Luc, remember how we would play 'Archeologist' in your quarters? Where I would remove layers of overburden - I mean your pants - until I discovered an ancient bone! Or, maybe a Royal Scepter. Then I would polish it, until it was all nice and shiny ..."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"There can be only one ... Highlander!"

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Mister Worf, use your tricorder and tell me if the age of these rocks are circa the 1960s."

"... Confirmed, Sir."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Worf! You called me up here, because you said the Captain had lost his mind ..."

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the Log Win

Picard: You have the bridge, Mr. Worf. Whatever you do, don't let Deanna drive.

Captain's Log: Jonos has the most disregard for archaeological artifacts. He just tossed an ancient Denobulan compass on the couch. I cannot fathom tossing a dear and valuable artifact.

Riker: I hate it when running water makes me want to go to the bathroom

Picard: Tastes like Riker's cooking
.

 

[Armored Saint]

LEADHEAD: Picard, you ungrateful bastard! I gave you the "The Klingon who Shagged me" Award and you didn't even thank me.

In 400 years, Charlie Brown's luck with kites only got worse.

And he remained to shy to talk to the Little Red-Haired Girl.

 

[Triskelion]

Worf: Sir, if you halt the turbolift between decks to have a "sincere moment" with the doctor again, be advised that I will be monitoring the visual pickup at all times.

Crusher: It was a medically-authorized spot check!

Picard: Oh - my - Shakaree - that outfit is to die for!
Jono: It's from the Insolent Cadet line at Old Space Navy.

Worf: According to these readings there's a hitch in the crevice.
Riker: Bad day to wear speedos. <Lunges>

We're trapped, people. Starfleet survival 101, start looking for edible roots.

<Bites, spits>

Screw that! Start screaming like little girls for help!

Troi: I'm sensing some distress.

 

[Holdfast]

TFTBLW!



A vaguely 80s/90s/commercials theme to today's captions:

CRUSHER: Head & Shoulders, Worf?
PICARD: But he doesn't have dandruff!
WORF: Exactly.

JONO: Sega joystick?
PICARD: Yes. The more you play with it the harder it gets.

WORF: Bah, it's mineral water but I prefer the fizzy kind.
RIKER: Starfleet really has made you soft.

PICARD: I can believe it's not butter.

PICARD: Care... Bear... STARE!

 

[Finn]

More evidence Voyager was ripping off TNG: A scene from an episode that was dropped halfway through taping...

Riker: Well?

Worf: I'm finding traces of those androgynous salamander creatures Wesley and Picard turned into...They must have entered the pond by sliding down this.

Riker: I don't know how I'll explain this in the report

Worf: I look forward it...sir