TNG Caption This! 331: Spooky!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, sorry about not getting a new contest up last weekend.

First up to the plate, we have the "Unless we try this new and untested technology called the Transporter" Award, going to:

Data: In fact; straight for us, and by my calculations, none of you will be fast enough to join me in the escape pod.

Next, we have the "Negative Performance Review" Award, going to:

GEORDIE: Whoa! Did you graduate from the Janice Rand School of Transporter Operation?

Next, we have the "The tall tower of Deck 12" Award, going to:

Worf: You men, make sure the alien prisoner doesn't leave the cargo bay until I come and get it.
Guard #1: Not to leave the bay, even if you come and get it.
Worf: No, UNTIL I come and get it.
Guard #2: Hic.
Guard #1: So we don't need to do anything but stop the prisoner from entering the bay.
Worf: No, LEAVING the bay.
Guard #1: Leaving the bay, yes.
Guard #2: Hic.
Worf: Oh, go get a glass of bloodwine!

Next, we have the "Strict Scheduling" Award, going to:

GEORDI: OK Reg, playtime's over, time for your nap.

Next, we have the "Dangerous Announcements" Award, going to:

Geordi: What will it cost me to get you to be the one to tell him Guinan is out of prune juice?

The Photoshop award, goes to:

LaForge: I'm writing you up.
O'Brien: Worth it.

Worf: You two... around the corner. Engage the hostile alien while I'm back here ah... covering you. Remember today is a good day to die!
Goldshirts: ....

Many thanks to everyone for participating and congrats to our winners!

And now, a more Halloween themed contest...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Oh come on, my speech wasn't THAT long...

K'Ehleyr: Guinan, you still attracted to bald men?

Crusher: This piece of metal is pregnant!

Stewart: Dangit, I said I was doing A Christmas Carol as a One Man show!

Riker: Okay, so I don't know how to use the tricorder either. We should've brought Data or Geordi too.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Hmm... Sucks to be you."

Crusher: "According to these tricorder readings, we should all be fine. But Superman's f**ked."

Riker: "Ah, found them! Deanna and Tasha. They're together in Deanna's bedroom. But they're both breathing very heavily and have elevated body temperatures! I hope they haven't contracted some kind of flu!"
Worf (thinking): "Idiot."

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: He's dead.
Worf: He may not be. This reminds me of the Klingon legend of the Night of the Living Zombies when the dishonored dead return to life to sacrifice your souls to spare their torment.
Picard: You steal our classic literature in Shakespeare and now our horror flicks? Do you Klingons do nothing original?

K'heylar: Worf, this is the lamest holoalien ever! Get some computer nerd in here to program something realistic I can beat on before I decide to beat on you!

Crusher: According to these tricorder readings it was Colonel Mustard in Ten Forward with this shrapnel shard.

Picard: I see dead people.... I really need to lay off this Romulan marijuana.

Worf: What does the tricorder say, Commander?
Riker: What? I'm playing Angry Birds.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CREWMAN HUDSON: This may be a bit premature, but....GAME OVER MAN!!! GAME OVER!!!

CRUSHER: My hair's green and I should be able to fashion a bikini out of this scrap of metal. Watch out James T. Kirk!!!!!

K'HYLER: So help me Worf, if I turn around and see you wearing a stupid skull mask. I will frakking kill you!!!

 

[Finn]

Picard: Thank god Jack wasn't a bridge officer. It'd be awkward after breakfast at Beverly's

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: See this guy? He brought me tea cold, once.
WORF: You would be advised not to make the same mistake.

K'ELYHR: MOM! Stop setting me up on blind dates!

CRUSHER: Chief medical officer's log. Like all good investigators, I've just finished touching everything at the site of the strange accident with my bare hands. If they start falling off within 24 hours, I'll know it was dangerous.

GHOST GOLDSHIRT: Captain! Do you really want us to call this the 'Picard maneuver'? The idea seems pretty basic, I'm sure you're not the first person to...
PICARD: It's the Picard maneuver damn it! Say it!
GHOST GOLDSHIRT: ...The Picard maneuver.
PICARD: You're damn right it is!

WORF: You configured your tricorder to track human pheremones?
RIKER: I've been striking out lately.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Get your hand off my hip, Skeletor ... "

 

[2takesfrakes]

"So ... there is a hell. Looks like Gene Roddenberry had it all wrong about religion, after all."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Thalaron Radiation in just under microscopic amounts ... makes you feel good!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

K'Ehleyr: "Yes, I'm back, Judge! I'd just like to point out that on most worlds a restraining order requires a greater distance than one foot!"

 

[Holdfast]

TFTW!!

PICARD: Future Me is not an appealing prospect.

K'EHYLER: All I'm saying is, the lube better work.

CRUSHER: I knew scanning Riker's quarters with a black light would be disturbing.

PICARD: All we need now is Guinan to do her kooky psychic schtick and we've got us Ghost 2!

RIKER: You sure this is the way? It's awfully dark and empty... a guy could get beat up down here and no-one would ever know.
WORF: So, about me and Deanna...

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Worf, notify Starfleet, we've found Commander Bowman.

K'Ehleyr: Worf, what kind of skulduggery are you up to?

Crusher: *to herself* Okay, if I just pretend that I'm analyzing this scrap, then I can stay here for a few minutes and let those other, worthless members of my medical staff do something for once.

Picard: Oh, uh, sorry, I didn't realize you were using my quarters to recreate the worst day in my life. I'll just let you finish and I'll be back later.

Riker: Okay, according to this, we should be in engineering.

Worf: Sir, you're not using Apple Maps, are you?

Riker: Yes, why?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

K'Ehleyr: Do you mind?

Alien: Sorry. Just wanted to see your Pac-Man pattern.

 

[CaptainBearclaw]

PICARD:If this turns into Solaris then I better get the hell out of here!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Ah, this brings back memories! For instance, that guy still owes me twenty quatloos!"

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: "This woman was the Captain."
Worf: "She has been dead for thousands of years."
LaForge: "I'd do her."

K'Ehleyr (thinking) ** The sad part is, he isn't the worst looking guy to hit on me tonight. **

Beverly: "I removed the metal shard from your leg, that's all I can do for now."
Crewman: "But I'm bleeding badly."
Beverly: "I'm sorry, but you have to sign up for a health care plan before I can do any more."
Crewman: "I tried, the site won't let me even register."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "No, not TOS, Mr. Worf. This one looks like it might have been a TMP Klingon."
Worf: "We do not talk about them, either!"

 

[2takesfrakes]

DORN: "You were holding it upside down?! You know, without all this makeup and stuff,
I actually thought you were smart for a second."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: I can't believe Deanna broke up with me via text. Said she found someone new.

WORF: She didn't give a name did she?

RIKER: No. Why?

WORF: No reason.