TNG Caption This! 315: Don't look at me like that!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Sorry that I didn't get this one going during the weekend, but it's within the week it's supposed to start! It's better!

First up to the plate, we have the "Social Media to the.... well, no rescue so far..." Award, going to:

Picard: "Any reply to our message to the Enterprise that we're trapped in the bowels of an erupting volcano and need rescue?"
Crusher: "None. But it did get four 'likes.'"

Next, we have the "Kirk Rules! And that's Kirk's Rule" Award, going to:

Data: The chain of command is quite clear, now that Captain Picard and Commander Riker are dead, as third officer, I am to assume command of the starship.

Worf: But Starfleet regulations clearly state that in the event of loss of the ship's commanding officer, the position of Captain should go to whoever has the balls to just claim command of the ship. It's the "Kirk-addendum" to the Chain of Command.

Next, we have the "Fear the beard, you may now wonder what I meant by that" Award, going to:

GEORDI: Wait, wait. You...and Data? But, you and Troi!
RIKER: Troi was just a beard.

Next, we have the "Medical Malpractice" Award, going to:

DATA: I still think it would be easier to admit you killed Geordi on the operating table.

Next, we have the "You'll find their ad in the yellow pages right next to the Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe" Award, going to:

Geordi: "Four Aces five times in a row? You'll be hearing from my lawyer."
Riker: "Geordi, I swear, I had no idea..."
Worf: "Don't worry, Commander. The only thing you'll be hearing from Geordi will come straight from the Law Offices of B*tch and Moan."

A contest with great photoshop entries! Loved them all, but this one just nailed it for me, our winner is:

Worf: "I feel I am better suited as acting captain, given my impressive stature. Wait, what are you doing Data?"
Data: "Leveling the playing field, Mr. Worf."

Btw, an RPG player like myself would call that "Leveling Up."

Doctor's Medical Log: The attempts to inject Geordi with a personality have, to date, all failed.

LaForge: I've got my eye on you.
Riker: You're blind.
LaForge: .... damn it!

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated! Tonight, we head back to our blu-ray images!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Who just made fun of how I sit in chairs?!

La Forge: Keep moving Worf! If they catch us, they'll make us wear Goldshirts from now on!

Dean Pelton: (watching on screen) This better not awaken anything in me.

Edo God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "Sorry" this and "forgive me" that and "I'm not worthy." What are you doing?

Picard: I'm averting my eyes, oh lord.

La Forge: Wait! You're gonna let me be your wing man?

Riker: Don't read too much into it, everyone else was busy.

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the photoshop win, Leadhead.

Riker: (whispering) "Deanna, do you have any idea who those two are behind us?"
Troi: "No Will, but I'm sensing a tremendous amount of hair style envy."

Worf: *huff, puff* "Geordi, what's that music playing over the intercom system?"
LaForge: "It's the theme song to the classic TV series 'Batman'".
Worf: "Is it really necessary?"
LaForge: "I'm afraid it is, Worf."

And when off duty, Worf pursued a hobby no other Klingon would ever consider: magic tricks.

LaForge: "Wait commander, please don't leave. I don't know what to do next!"
Riker: "Geordi, that's it--I'm never setting you up on a date again."

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Data...is that...a hydraulic shock absorber?
Data: Occupado!
Troi: I'm only sensing surprise from Riker.

Geordi & Worf: Ice creaaaammm!!!

Worf: Today is a good day to buttle.

Geordi: I got us a double date with a couple of Risan strippers. You interested?
Riker: Holographic strippers?
Geordi: A little.
Riker: Program me a stack of ones.
Geordi: They're nicer than real Risan strippers.
Riker: Damn Federation non-currency economy.
Geordi: The economy! That's it.

 

[Vulcan Logician]

The Enterprise was left with a skeleten crew, and with Dr. Crusher incapacitated, Worf was tasked with giving the crew their prostate exams.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Picard: "We're trained to be tolerant of the peculiar customs of alien lifeforms, but...Jeez, enough with the yodeling already!"

LaForge: "You gotta help me, Commander! Leah Brahms is coming on board today, and the engine room smells like three-week-old sweat socks!"

 

[Kevman7987]

Riker: You'll let me do that with all these women?
Troi: Riker wants to do what to our what? *gulps in discomfort*

Geordi: Did you have the Mexican meal choice too?!
Worf: Today was not a good day for tacos!

Worf: This is so much nicer than those dress uniforms with the skirt and tight leggings...

Geordi: You'll never believe what I just did!
Riker: Finally scored?
Geordi: How'd you know?
Riker: I'm the one who paid the hookers...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "Hurry, Worf! If we get caught in the 'kiddie half' during a saucer separation, we'll never hear the end of it!"

 

[Gary7]

Original Geordi: "Hurry Worf, we've got to catch them before they get to the bridge!"
Original Worf: "Geordi, this was the last time I ever participate in one of your transporter experiments!"

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Stop humping my skull! Not everybody keeps their genitals in the same place!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (OS): "It's...uh...it's called the 'Lotus Position.' I managed to get into it okay, but I...uh...I don't seem to be able to get out of it."
Riker: "Perhaps, next time, you should do it in your quarters, sir. With the door locked."
Troi: "Also, I don't think it is required that you do it nude."

 

[Finn]

Geordi: She said my name in her sleep?!?
Riker: She said "Gero'de", a Betazoid term for a dork.

 

[Gary7]

Picard (OS): "It's...uh...it's called the 'Lotus Position.' I managed to get into it okay, but I...uh...I can't seem to be able to get out of it."
Riker: "Perhaps, next time, you should do it in your quarters, sir. With the door locked."
Troi: "Also, I don't think it is required that you do it nude."

Perfect! That so fits with Riker's and Troi's gaze.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win!

Riker: A new contest? But it's Tuesday!

Data: Should I cancel the emergency, sir?
Picard: Just a minute, Data, I thought Geordi and Worf could use some cardio.

Garak's Men's Warehouse: You're going to like the way you look. We guarantee it.

That awkward moment when the bubble you were trying to pop gains self-awareness and is pissed.

Normally, Riker would have easily forced the other guy to unhand him, but, for some reason, Geordi had a really tight grip with his right hand. Almost as if he were exercising it regularly...

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Computer, begin program: Worf-Downton Abbey 1

 

[JirinPanthosa]

MARINA SIRTIS: What do you mean the women on this show wear too much clothing?
GENE RODDENBERRY (Offscreen): In the future women have evolved beyond the need for modesty.
JONATHAN FRAKES: Troi is based on your fantasies isn't she?

WORF: Get back here!
GEORDI: I promise I won't tell anyone you cut your blood wine with prune juice!
WORF: It's called a Purple Klingon and it's NOT A GIRL DRINK!

Worf likes playing the priest in Machete holoprograms.

SPHERE: I am the XBox Fifty. You talked about a copyrighted game with the other bridge crew, and now you must pay the price.
PICARD: How did you know?!
SPHERE: I am always watching.

GEORDI: You didn't tell me she had five breasts!
RIKER: Be a little more open minded.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Well I haven't seen you around here before. Come here often?
Wesleyna: Who, lil ol' meee?

Geordi: Have we been running in circles?
Worf: You're right! Let's go back the other way!

Worf: Whoo-hooo!<Michael kick crotch grab>

Geordi: Commander! I was molestered on the holodeck!
Riker: ...
Geordi: I asked the computer to program an escort that could out-feel Troi.
Riker: Moriarty again?
Geordi: I could barely get through the whole lapdance.

 

[Isis]

Captain's log confidential, Stardate 45345.6. This new daily quarters inspection kick of Starfleet is a real pain in the arse.

 

[Isis]

Riker and Troi (to selves in unison as they peek through sickbay doorway): "Not everyone keeps their genitals in just one place!"

Worf (to Wesley): "Gene Kelly, Gene Schmelly. The chicks better go for this get-up, or I shall be forced to kill you where you stand."

Picard: "OK, if you promise to leave me alone I'll say it." <brief pause> "There's no place like home. There's no place like home..."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Leadhead: I love you.

Troi: Having Dr. Marcus strip to her underwear like that on the flimsiest of pretexts is a true debasement of the values of all Star Trek!


Riker: It sure is.

Geordi: Wait... why are we responding to the call for security again?

Master of magic, mayhem and illusion... enemies crumble in fear and confusion.... MANDRAKE!

Picard: Yes, OK... we are a bit crap. But we will get better!

Geordi: ...and then you should grab his arm and pull it off.

Riker: Why are you trying to help me get your best friend get disassembled?

Geordi: I can already see where this show is going in terms of which characters get the most screentime.