TNG Caption This! 296: Closer to Punctuality!

[LeadHead]

Happy Monday Night everyone!

Sorry for us not being reset to weekend starts/stops, we're moving closer to them. I hope to get things back to normal this weekend!

First up to the plate, we have the "You're probably not gonna get promoted above Space Valet" Award, going to:

Guy in Blue: "Oh, I guess I should turn on the forcefield's permiability before the shuttle crashes into it, huh?"

Next, we have the "Slow Day on the Bridge" Award, going to:

Data: Behold the one millionth level of Tetris!
Riker: Haven't you got better things to do?

Next, we have the "Could end up as a Medical Emergency though..." Award, going to:

Worf slowly realizes when Dr Pulaski summoned him to her quarters, it was not a real emergency.

Next, we have the "No longer popular" Award, going to:

Picard: Deanna, we've got a message from the female crewmembers on the news that you're not going to show any signs of having been pregnant. And the message is: Bitch.

Next, we have the "Simple Brings it Home" Award, going to:

Picard: Shut up, Wesley.

Our Photoshops this time around were 2 sides of the same funny coin, so they're both winners!

Wesley: I swear I didn't tell anybody about you failing the first time around. This guy seems to think I'm someone named Wheaton.

Picard: Where is this man now?

Wesley: In engineering, lecturing to Geordi about quantum mechanics.

And...

PICARD: No, Mr. Cooper, neither I nor any other member of this crew will be signing your "Shipmate Agreement".

Woman on left: "I just figured out why this new mall is doing so poorly. They really should have put in more parking."

Man on right: "Ya think?"

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

Lets spend some more time with our blu-ray images and start a new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: And... you lose. Why did you wager the Captains favorite shuttlecraft?!

Kurn: I am Commander Kurn of the Klingon Defense Force and I'd like to talk to you about switching to Geico.

Worf: (thinking) Human teenagers are without honor.

Picard: Anybody remember why we came in here in the first place?

Picard: I am not sick! I'll jut be lying down for a couple of hours.

Crusher: You have a 100.1 fever. Geordi's got the bridge until your bald head stops burning.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Since I have no father it is unlikely he will need a "new pair of shoes", but if you feel it will increase my chance of winning...

I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters.

WES: Mom said you could teach me to be more manly.

WORF (looks at shirt and shakes his head.)

PICARD: What exactly are you feeding that cat?

PICARD: You take that back, the Picards have never run and have never surrendered!!!!

LAFORGE: Please, your family crest features a chicken with a yellow stripe down it's back!!!

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW!

Data: Trust me Sir, my memory contains details of every game of chance.

I have Mr. Bun the baker!

Riker: I think a couple of files have gotten crossed.

Kurn: I am Mr. Worf's long lost bother.


And also Wesley's father.

Worf: I like your jumper nearly as much as I like Riker's omelets.

Picard: Damn it Geordi, you're chief engineer now, this is the third day in a row you've put the wrong uniform on, what are you, blind?

Picard:... And then you have my permission to die!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "When the train comes in, everybody rides!"
Tex: "Son, that was funny the first five or six time you said it, but it's beginnin' to get old."

Kurn: "To demonstrate the Klingon Death Grip, I will need a volunteer. ....... Anyone?"

Worf: "Wesley, I tell you this for your own good. Your mama dresses you funny."

Picard: "We are going to the doctor's quarters to discuss ship's business! Understood?"
Crusher: "Oh, give it up, Jean Luc. You're not fooling anyone."

 

[Ln X]

Thanks for the win LeadHead!

Data: Behold! My mechanized pimp hand!

Kurn: Anyone who objects to me throwing Wesley out of the airlock please speak now!

Silence...

Picard: You so much as stare at Beverly with that x-ray vision of yours LaForge and you'll be out of the airlock faster than you can say 'ensign'!

 

[Triskelion]

Arm Candy: What's sticking the dice together?
Data: Secreted internal servo fluid.
Texas: Hookers are legal here, you know.

On Klingon vessels, authority is taken through combat. Not given by weak and cowardly rules. Under my command, cowardice will be reprimanded -

<Wesley jumps up and kicks him in the nards>

Data <to Kurn, writhing on floor>: Never mess with Ensign Crusher's grade point average.

Worf: You do not understand honor. What it means to be willing to take your own life if you fail in your duties.
Wesley: Yeah, I don't die if I fail my exams. My teachers' cats do.
Worf: So you...
Wesley: Only take classes from teachers with cats for best friends? Yup.
Worf: Genius.

Pakled on a Rascal: Beep beep.

I'm not laughing, LaForge!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Good one!

 

[Leviathan]

While the crew was distracted the son of the Crystalline Entity crept into place to take its revenge...

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DATA: Curious. People wager money on this game, knowing the odds are heavily stacked in the house's favor.
RIKER: I HAVE A SYSTEM.

Kurn: I was going to impose Klingon discipline on you, but then I realized by Klingon standards it's Data's job to kill me. Screw that.

WESLEY: So I started throwing chairs at her like you said.
WORF: And it didn't work?
WESLEY: No, she threatened to press charges.
WORF: I don't understand humans.

Picard, Data, Beverly and Wesley try to act surprised when yet another sentient energy life form takes over the ship, out of politeness. Geordi can't pretend anymore.

You lied to me Levar! You told me the show wouldn't last six months! I used to do Shakespeare!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KURN: Hello, my name is Kurn.

EVERYONE: Hello Kurn!

KURN: It's been two days since I last killed a worthless petaQ.

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFTW.

Worf: "Bed, Bath, and Beyond called. It wants its clearance bedspread back."

The crew couldn't get it through their heads that letting untrained tribbles have the run of the ship was not the best idea.

Crusher: "Calm down, Jean-Luc. You think you're the first to have this problem?"

Picard: "Actually, yes. In fact, I'm so sure, I'll bet you 100 quatloos you've never seen another bald man with severe dandruff."

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: If you must know, it was a Christmas gift from my Great Aunt Mable.

WORF: Truly this Mable is without honor...or taste.

 

[R. Star]

Data: Query commander, what do you mean by "loaded" dice?
Riker: Thanks a lot Data....
Casino Employee: You two will have to come with us.

Kurn: Experience BIJ!
Picard: What is Bij?
Riker: I don't know but it sounds fun.
Worf: We do not speak of it with outsiders.

Worf: That pink shirt has brought dishonor to the males of the Enterprise.

(insert generic blind guy joke here)

Picard: I'm going to shag the Doctor now and have a jolly good time... but you don't have to take -my- word for it Mr Reading Rainbow. Try it yourself.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: Mistah LaForge! I want you... to kiss my ass!

Crusher: Okay. You've had enough eggnog.

Director, OS: Yo! Jackass behind Dorn. You're facing the wrong way!

Picard: Remembah kids, don't do drugs.

Geordi: Who the hell is he talking to?

Crusher: Fuck if I know.

[Wesley babbling]

Worf, muttering under his breath: It's times like this I wish wearing red had the same repercussions it did during Kirk's era.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: I'll have you know that this color was used for uniforms in both pilots.

WORF: Yeah, but they it changed when the show went to series.

 

[Triskelion]

Wesley: Tholians that wear my exact size don't die every day.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Your parents, they wanted a girl, right?

WES: "Leslie" was just a typo on my birth certificate!!!!

 

[Triskelion]

Geordi: Are you sure about this Doc?
Crusher: Standard Starfleet Medical procedure, LaForge.
Picard: Don't move Geordi, I'm getting in the turbolift.

 

[Captain Crow]

Wesley: My mother has that same valance on her bedroom window.

Worf: Piss off kid.