TNG Caption This! 295: LeadHead's Tardy Start

[Triskelion]

Riker <above door>: Ok Ensign, now that the bay is clear let's set up the production line on our Tri-D Lego Pentagon™series.

Sir...are you my father?
Absolutely not, Wesley.
I meant in the abstract sense.
So did I.
Well then...literally?
I'll be right there.
Sir? Who are you communicating with?
Hm? Oh, Geordi fraxillated...anion frequency...subspace.
<leaves>

Worf: Commander Data was not kidding. That is one big Lego penis rock.
O'Brien: Damn straight.

Picard: Whatever you do, don't sneak up on her.
Pulaski: Well isn't she empathic? Being a Betazoid?
Picard: That was just an ambassadorial prank that got out of hand.
Troi: I sense...I'm needed on the bridge.

 

[T'Girl]

Worf: I found these two men in the corridor for that activity you mentioned last night.

Troi: Oh, I didn't know Ensign Ricky and Lieutenant Burke played golf.

Worf (disappointment in voice): That is what you meant by "wanting a foursome?"

 

[BriGuy]

Guy: Man, that baby's got a fat ass.

Gal: I never liked that shuttle design, either.

Guy: ... uh, yeah, the shuttle, sure.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker:Yo Ensign, is this the shuttlebay?
Ensign: No sir, this is the turbolift. You want the little room at the end of the hall.

Sir, the children want to form a club and put on a performance called Teenage Cardassian Reform Camp.

Denied.

Counselor Troi has already agreed to play the Domineering Commandant.

Granted.

Commander LaForge, we've warned you about VISOR inspections of walls adjacent to the women's changing room.

Troi: Come in Captain, Doctor Pulaski.
Pulaski: I've heard about the amazing telepathic abilities Betazoids have.
Troi: That, and mirrors.

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Guy in Blue: "Oh, I guess I should turn on the forcefield's permiability before the shuttle crashes into it, huh?"

Picard: "Yes, Wesley, I can see that everyone has defriended you on Spacebook. I don't know what you want ME to do about it; I do have other concerns, you know."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DATA: This is your personal list of holodeck programs?
RIKER: Only my personal favorites.
DATA: I don't think I want to be human anymore.

Worf slowly realizes when Dr Pulaski summoned him to her quarters, it was not a real emergency.

Captain, I'm sensing a presence. It's almost like characters from Star Trek: The Second Wave are speaking through us.

Sorry Wesley. I just realized how pissed I'd be if I worked hard to graduate the academy and become part of the bridge crew then got replaced by a 14 year old.

 

[R. Star]

Picard: Who stole my shuttle?! Wesley's still here, we have a gorgon for a doctor, and Troi's pregnant, I gotta get out of here!

Riker: Unauthorized shuttle launch?
Data: Sensors indicate Captain Picard is aboard.
Riker: -sigh- I just sounded yellow alert because of some subspace turbulence. This is getting ridiculous.

Worf: Sensors detected an intruder in this room.
Troi: I'm just pregnant Worf!
Worf: Pregnant...? Set phasers to fetal settings. We do not wish to harm Counselor Troi.

Picard: Bow-chicka-wowow.
Pulaski: Don't you think it is condescending and sexist to have her parading around in a catsuit, Captain?
Picard: Well she has to earn her keep somehow. Her therapy certainly doesn't qualify as being useful.

Picard: You mean your mother suddenly left for Earth without any word or explanation and didn't take you? What kind of mother abandons her chi--- Wait, unnecessary question... I guess I can't blame her for -that- damn her.

 

[Triskelion]

I want a catsuit, sir.

Denied.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Worf: I'm about to get my ass kicked again, right?

 

[shivkala]

TFTW!

Picard: And allow me to introduce you to Deanna Troi. I'm sure you'll get on marvelously. I suppose she's kind of like a doctor

Picard: And, she's half-Betazoid, half-Human. The Enterprise doctors have such a rich history of working well with half-Human co-workers!

Blue-shirt: "Are you sure this is Blu-ray? Looks awfully like an upscale to me. Look at the softness, the lack of clarity."
Yellowshirt: "HTV-Illuminate instead of CBS Digital. They outsourced it."
Blue-shirt: "Aw crap. See if you can't get a refund."

Yellow-shirt: It could be worse...it could be HD-DVD!

Picard: "I realize Luke Skywalker is your new role model, but for the last time, I am not your father."

Wesley: C'mon Captain, Luke Skywalker is my hero! So, does this mean I can't go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters?

Picard: Actually, good news on that front, we're going to be dropping you at Tosche Station on our way to Risa!

Riker: So...um, that's what Troi looks like pregnant?

Data: Yes, sir. If I understand correctly, it is not uncommon for human males to be repulsed by pregnant females after their weight gain and increased flatulance.

Riker: On, the contrary, Data, I don't think I've ever found her sexier! Besides, it's not uncommon for pregnant females to experience an increased sex drive!

Data: Intriguing, apprently Dr. Soong fashioned me with the ability to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Pulaski: Relax, Worf. I was just joking about helping me deliver Troi's baby.

Worf: Good, it will be a cold day in Gre'thor before I deliver a baby!

 

[Ln X]

Data: Behold the one millionth level of Tetris!
Riker: Haven't you got better things to do?

Worf: Commander Data!?! Why are you naked? And why are you... leaking fluid?
Data: I am... erm... performing an... erm... experiment. I believe I have experienced my first emotional reaction.

Picard: We're going to play a little game counsellor, a psychological one you could say. You see every time someone enters a room, you have to stand in a corner and keep your silence so you feel what it is like having your own twisted psychological voodoo thrown back at you.

Wesley: Sir... I can no longer deny it, you see the reason why I work so hard, the reason why I want to please you is because... is because... Because I like you...
Picard: Oh... Well, I suppose such feelings are erm... natural for a man, but unfortunately, I can't erm... reciprocate your feelings because we have different... erm... um... In fact Mr Crusher I think it is best you leave and never set foot on my bridge again!

 

[Isis]

Data: "How thoughtful of Wesley to post this video on You-ni-verse-Tube for those of us who passed out during last night's Christmas party!"

Riker (to self): "OK, now I see why Beverly left for her new assignment in such a hurry."

Picard: "Deanna, do you remember what happened?"

Troi: "Sorry, Captain, right now I'm a bit fuzzy."

 

[Finn]

Wesley: I swear I didn't tell anybody about you failing the first time around. This guy seems to think I'm someone named Wheaton.

Picard: Where is this man now?

Wesley: In engineering, lecturing to Geordi about quantum mechanics.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: No, Mr. Cooper, neither I nor any other member of this crew will be signing your "Shipmate Agreement".

 

[LeadHead]

For those of you who are wondering when the next contest will start, today's the day! ........ I hope.

 

[Triskelion]

No such thing as dilithium?? And just what do you think is regulating our engine's antimatter reactions?

I don't know but I suggest you find out.

Yes, I'll look into that right away. <taps com> Picard to Worf....

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest is up!