TNG Caption This! 283: Ready to roll!

Worf: "...bedbugs, lice-CRABS? Captain, you should really clean the carpet after your little, ah, adventures."

 

Data: "Drone drone drone ..."
Picard: "meaningless prattle, prattle prattle ..."
Beverly (thinking):The door's right there, I could be there in seconds.
Data: "Dribble, dribble, dribble ..."
Beverly (thinking):God I'm going straight across this table.
Picard: "Orthodox, orthodox, orthodox ..."
Beverly (thinking):Come on Beverly ... do it, do it, do it ...

 

Missed the last one, oops!



Picard: Four paternity tests does not prove it!
Data: Denial is the often the first symptom of parenthood, sir.



Data: But after I installed my emotion chip, I found that pushing Doctor Crusher over the ledge was extremely funny. Is inconsistency a trait of human emotions?



Crusher: At least Data's not here. I swear he rigs the deck.
Riker: Well, I have the best card sense ever!
LaForge: My visor can see through the cards.
Troi: My empathy can detect when people are bluffing
Worf: I will disembowl anyone who beats me.
All: Fold



Worf: I really can replicate you some Depends, sir.



Picard: This is a completely intolerable situation.
Riker: I can replicate you some viagra, the stuff works great!
Picard: How do you know?

 

Picard: You know, Number One, a good captain needs abilities like boldness, daring and a good velour uniform, and I'm not convinced you have any of those things.

 

Data: "Lt. Worf said I have no balls. But as you can see I have many"
Picard: "You called a staff meeting for this..."


Data: "Very impressive Geordi, but...will it blend?"


Riker: "For the last time Worf. These are poker chips, not potato chips"


Picard: "Find that mouse and you can have your damned tv show!"


Picard: "Oh you dont like my new look, that's a shame. I call it 'I'm the Captain so shut the hell up!' "

 

Riker: Aren't you hot in that?

Picard: Intolerably.

Riker: So why wear it?

Picard: Remember than planet of the transgender people? I lost a bet over whether you'd shag one of them or not.

 

That thing in the lower left. Shouldn't there be slot cars or penguins or something racing along the grooves there?



"But Geordi, how are you going to get this ship into a standard-sized bottle?"
"Oh, I've got a doctor friend who promised to hook me up with some appropriate technology."



"Sorry, sir, it registers as plastic from underneath as well."
"Well doggone it, I wouldn't have paid $500 for this table if I'd known it wasn't real cherry."



"With all due respect, Number One, I'll sing showtunes with Data before I sit in on one of your saxophone performances."

 

Data: Why did you place a little Wesley figure in the Crow's Nest?

Geordi: Because the kid is a bad egg...

 

Data going on and on about relationships, mating and love...

Beverly: Do we really need to hear Data drone on about human relationships?
Picard: I think we do until you stop shying away from my feelings.


Riker: Before we begin I would like to ask Geordi to take off his visor.
Geordi: But I won't be able to see the cards!
Riker: Exactly.


Worf: Sir I must protest, is it really necessary for me to search for a few strands of detached hair?
Picard: I have been fighting this baldness for many years now, every hair counts!

 

Picard: "You know, I've been staring at that gizmo for an hour, and I still can't figure out what it is."

Worf: "Neither can I. But it was quite expensive and looks pretty formidable, so I figured I'd better get some decent use out of it."

 

Deanna (to self): "And they think psychobabble is boring!"

 

New contest! Enjoy!