President's adviser: We have four worthy canditates to satisfy your er... whims. Those you do not pick will be disposed of.
President: I don't like the look of that blond-haired woman, remove her!
Tasha: (thinking) How did it end like this?
Data: I am sorry doctor for pointing this type 2 phaser at you, I was aiming for the black viscous liquid, but my motor circuits have moved over 100% beyond my programming instructions.
Beverly: Data you really need to sort out that over-lubrication problem!
Picard: Lieutenant Worf is this true; did you remove Geordi's VISOR and then challenge him to a game of hide-and-seek so that he could find his VISOR?
Worf: Erm...
Riker: Lieutenant, answer the captain's question!
Worf: It is true sir! Geordi besmirched my honour by saying I was 'technically lacking' when it came to repairing consoles.
Troi: Captain are you alright?
Picard: Just an old man's reaction to a good romp... I'm really burning up here...
Picard on the viewscreen: This is your captain! I am declaring a state of martial law on this ship! Sacrifice and toil are mandatory! You will eat LESS! You will sleep LESS! You will worker harder not SMARTER! Anyone who complains will be shot! This is for your own protection, and for the benefit of all involved. And finally I ask you to adore me, OR ELSE!