TNG Caption This 240: Please, Please, don't be thankful for this.

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday Everyone!

First up to the plate, we have the "Importance of Planning Ahead" Award, going to:

Picard: "Sorry, this yoga class doesn't take walk-ins."

Next, we have the "Professional Conduct" Award, going to:

Riker: "Captain, this is not what it looks like!"
Picard (OS): "It looks like you and Commander Data are rolling around on the floor with Ensign Rager in her nightgown."
Riker: "Okay, it is what it looks like. But I can explain!"

Next, we have the "Taking em to the cleaners, after killing them..." Award, going to:

Dorn's contract negotiations for joining DS9 were tough.

Next, we have the "Don't wait too long to decide..." Award, going to:

Data: So, do we want Dr. Pulaski back or not?

Next, we have the "Just write a Report that I Won't Read Please" Award, going to:

O'brien: ...and I thought the problem was in the Heisenberg compensators, but it turns out the problem was actually in power coupling! Can ya believe that? Oh but that's not even the best part! The best part is that Commander LaForge thought...

Riker: Jeez...Guinan! Another round of synthale... (looks at O'brien)...make it two!

These two were variations on the same theme, but I'm glad to see the Thanksgiving Spirit alive and well, with Worf and a Deadly weapon...

Worf: "It is MY turn to carve the turkey this year!!"

and

WORF:Bring on the turkey! The bird will die with honor!!!!!!

O'BRIEN: Five times in one night?!
RIKER: Five times in one night.

Thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to all of our winners! Here's our sorta Thanksgiving Contest...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: (off screen) So then, he said "If I only had some Phasers" And I had one bank recharged!

La Forge: (whispering) It's more fun to see it on screen isn't it?

Cat: Get lost, I'm replacing you until you beam down to Vagra II.

Deanna sent her romantic cards to Will and Worf to the wrong recipients on accident.

Worf: Remember, the winner of this game gets to live. Security, ready Phasers.

Crusher: So with Wesley gone, I'm so glad you had me over for Thanksgiving. Wesley would just go on and on and never let me get in a word during those dinners.

Picard: (thinking) I can't believe it, there actually was a use for that kid!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: "Ahem. Beverly...I need to talk to you about...well...about what Wesley has been doing in the holodeck."

 

[Finn]

Spot: *psst* Guys...I gotta tell you what happened at home last night...

Tasha: You little...

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks ftw!

Data: And this is caption contest 240...

Picard: Do we have to judge every single one?

Riker: You're the one who wanted something to replace Captain Picard day! I just hope that inflatableDalek doesn't use the picture of me and Worf to do a joke about sex with Deanna. He's starting to look a bit obsessed.

Internet reaction to the newest picture of Catwoman in Dark Knight Rising was even more muted.

Riker: She did WHAT for you? She never did that for me.

Worf: You have to give payment in kind sir. If you were a considerate, kind lover you'd know this sort of thing.

Riker: Come on! This isn't a fair contest! I keep getting distracted by seeing that bloke from 24 standing over there!

Picard: So, which of us has the most convincing and realistic head of hair right now?

 

[Mysterion]

...and then Tasha discovered that the Tactical console had been replaced by a litterbox.

 

[Holdfast]

Thanks for the Belly Laugh Award!

The X Factor TNG's Judges Panel soon realised that even by the 24th century, Astro still hadn't managed to grow up.

Worf swore that the next time a mutant virus caused him to devolve, he'd pick something that looked meaner.

WORF: A warrior does not eat... tofu.

RIKER: I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.

BEVERLY: Ow!
thinking: How did he do that?!



(one for any remaining Michael Hordern/Up Pompeii fans, that last one... )

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Ensign Burke: "Heh! When we were kids, we used to play with somethin' like those on my uncle's dairy farm. It wasn't our fingers we put 'em on, though!"

Crusher: "Well, I'm sorry about your uniform tunic, but it's not really my fault! You're the one who bought them; how the hell was I supposed to know that purple silk panties from Risa run in the wash?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: Oh god I love these....

PICARD(thinking): If she mispronounces "croissant" one more time I'm going to scream.

 

[Mojochi]

Not having a need to ingest food for nutrients, Data would often just stand eerily & marvel at the process, to the enormous discomfort of everyone else

Tasha: If this is somebody's idea of a pussy joke, I'll castrate you with my combadge

Worf: Commander Data is behind us isn't he?

Worf: Last one with any fingers left wins

Beverly: So I said to Geordi "If you'd only let me harvest some mucous stem cells from out of your nose, I could probably just grow you some new eyeballs, & implant them into your skull." Care for another grape, Jean-Luc?

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

Data: "I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third... Geordi? That's your cue."
LaForge: (muttering) "Oh no, here we go again..."

Tasha: "Data, do you really think it's wise to feed Spot on top of the weapons system controls?"

Worf & Riker: (both thinking) "I... hate... these functions."

Ensign Burke: (to friends) "How much you wanna bet that Worf loses it and just smashes the table?"

Dr. Crusher: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, me, me, me, me, me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, me..."
Picard: (thinking) Why oh why did I agree to these breakasts with Beverly? Why... oh why...

 

[Holdfast]

PICARD (thinking): Never let her stay until breakfast again. Out the door at four, always.

 

[Isis]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Picard: "What is that 'thing' in the middle of the table?"

Crusher: "It's our main course. Don't you remember approving an all-vegetarian Thanksgiving?"

Picard (to self): "Merde!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Why yes, we are from the United Federation of Planets, however did you guess?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "You and Nella Daren?! I just did her yearly physical exam last week! But...oh dear...doctor-patient confidentiality; I can't say anything! Oh God, Jean-Luc, please tell me you wore a condom!"

 

[tafkats]

Twofer:

Tasha: "Transporter Room One, prepare to transport this life form directly to the mess hall."

Crusher: "But if the replicators are offline, then where did -- oh my god!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

No one expected Ensign McCormick's revival of "pole-dancing" at the annual talent show, but it was a BIG hit.

Yar: Captain, unidentified Caitian on the bridge.

 

[SilentP]

*offscreen* Picard: Quite frankly Tasha, we're replacing you with Spot. He's more threatening than you are as a security officer. We'll let the computer take over on weapons.

 

[Finn]

No one expected Ensign McCormick's revival of "pole-dancing" at the annual talent show, but it was a BIG hit.

Yar: Captain, unidentified Caitian on the bridge.

Wesley: (OS) Sorry, Captain. I forgot I was supposed to babysit her today for Lt. Meows.

 

[Gary7]

Ensign Burke: "Looks like they're playing a game and getting a manicure at the same time."
Ensign (blonde): "Look at the little colored tubes. I think Riker is going to end up with silver fingernail polish!"
* laughter *