TNG Caption This #229: Explainabragging

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday to everyone! I hope the week has treated you all well. As I stated last week, I'm moving the start/end of these contests to Saturdays to make things work with my new schedule. Enough of that, lets go!

First up to the plate, we have the "Plan B" Award going to:

Riker: (to Deanna) "Yes, I know... it's a book." (embarrassed) "Well I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find my iPad!"

Next, we have the "Extreme Sports" Award going to:

"Here is the summary of inter-departmental pingpong tournament, Captain. The Botany Department died with honor."

Next, the "Positronic Groan" Award, goes to:

Data: Orange you glad I activated my emotion chip.

Next up, we have the "Monday Morning QuarterBack" Award going to:

Geordi: Go, go, GO!!
Ro: No! Learn to block, you stupid #$%#$!
Picard (off-screen): Keep the profanity down or I'm taking the game off the viewscreen.

Next, we have the "Glad I'm not an Empath" Award, going to:

TROI: The problem with being an empath on a big starship is that it's always that time of the month for someone on board.

The Photoshop award, goes to:

COMPUTER: Impact in 10 seconds...

DATA: I guess you could say....

DATA: We're about to have our moment in the sun


YEEEAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Picard: "I left you an extra ten percent. That gagh was exquisite."

Congrats to all our winners and many thanks to all who participated! Now, don't forget that the...

Is still ongoing, today (Saturday) is the last day of voting in the PhotoShop Semifinals! Will start the finals either late tonight or early tomorrow morning.

And now, our new contest!

Enjoy! By the way, can anyone figure out where my recent contest titles have originated?

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Bang!

Data: You missed, Sir. Also, you left your phaser on the Enterprise.

Worf: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Picard's attempt to rob a Romulan Bank failed miserably.

Wesley: Explain why we're peeking into the Engineering Locker again?

La Forge: Want to see if those nacelles are real!

Picard: Okay, so I got us lost in an asteroid field. I still think it's wiser than letting the kid drive.

 

[Gary7]

Leadhead, thanks for the win!

Riker: "Isn't it amazing what art you can create by just poking your finger around in a few places?"

Beverly: "Worf, you won't tell anyone, will you?"
Worf: "Of course not, Beverly... It will be our little secret."

Romulan Commander: "It may only be a cardboard cutout of the infamous Picard, but it'll make an excellent target for disruptor practice. Take this to the shooting range."

Wesley so wanted to emulate Geordi, that he intentionally burned out his retinas.

*BASH*! Rumble, rumble... The Enterprise struck yet another asteroid.

Data: "Captain, are you sure you don't want me to drive?"

 

[Gary7]

In a moment of unorthodox hide and seek maneuvers, Riker beamed Picard over to a nearby Romulan vessel.

Picard: "Uh, gentlemen, you're not going to believe this, but..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: And you sweetheart, can get me a cup of coffee

TROI: And you are not Don Draper.

WORF: You can't send me to my room!!!!!!

( sees the look in Bev's eyes)

WORF: Just an hour right?

PICARD: So....er....Jolan tru?

PORKY'S: THE NEXT GENERATION

PICARD: Star Wars, I love this part.

 

[Holdfast]

Thanks for picking one of my captions last time round!

RIKER (thinking): I should never have betrayed the Yakuza; first my right hand, and now my left index finger...

Brief Encounter: the 24th century reimagining.

PICARD (thinking): If I time this beam-out just right, they'll all shoot each other. That would look so damn cool.

Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Picard loved playing Asteroids on his 3DS.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Thanks for the Positronic Groan award!

Picard: I'm going in closer to one of the big ones.

Troi: Closer?

Data: Closer?!

Riker growls.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: It would appear the road ahead is a bit rocky, Data.
Data, tilting head: Inquiry.
Picard, sighing: It's a joke, Data. See --
Data: I understood the pun. But what is the socially appropriate response to one which is so awful?

Riker: I'm Bill Riker, the original straight shooter.

First-season Riker was a little...odd.

Crusher: Look on the bright side, Mr. Worf. With these minute estrogen treatments, you won't have to worry about developing...a gorch, say.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The difference between Star Trek and Star Wars....

Data: "Captain, the odds of surviving an asteroid field are quite good."

Picard: "Superlative. Would anyone care for some tea?"

 

[6079SmithW]

Picard: Your concerns are noted but unfounded, Mr. Data. In all my years in Starfleet I have never lost a game of chicken.

 

[Supernuke]

Riker: Hey! How YOU doin'?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Surrender! Or I'll pull the real phaser from under my arm and vaporize you!"
Pakled: "Don't shoot! We surrender!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Where's reverse?

 

[BriGuy]

PORKY'S: THE NEXT GENERATION

Wesley: GOD DAMN IT! WILL YOU MOVE IT, YOU LARD ASS?

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Geordi: Careful, Wes. If you lose concentration and make even the smallest mistake, the biconverter interface could reset and, poof, that's it! Everyone inside loses cohesion at the subatomic level.

Wesley: Thank-

Geordi: Then, they're all placing orders at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Wesley: Thank you.

Geordi: It's the Big Goodbye.

Wesley: Thank you, Commander! I get it.

Geordi: I just wouldn't want you to be nervous, Wes.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Naw, it's okay; the standard Starfleet enlistment contract says holodeck sessions are subject to monitoring. But...if your mom starts getting jiggy with any of those guys, let Geordi take over. We don't want you in therapy for the next twenty years!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Will: Ah! It's no good, I've watched Defiant 50 times and I still don't know where the hell Tom managed to pull that phaser he shot Kira with from.

On the plus side though, I've worked out what Tom's beef with O'Brien was. Wait till I hit the forums with that!

Worf: I know what you did last summer.

Picard: Brilliant! I knew if I kept searching the galaxy long enough I'd find one species with a uniform that looks more stupid than the one I'm wearing.

Wes: What's Big Bang Theory?

Data: Get your rocks off baby get your rocks off yeah!

Picard: You really must stop trying to emulate Commander Riker.

Data: But Sir, that was what my super sensitive android hearing heard you saying when you were in Doctor Crusher's quarters last night.

For six hours.

Picard: Wait... you mean you can hear everything that happens in every room of the ship at all times?

Data: Sure, how do you think I wound up a Lt. Commander so quickly despite a complete inability to not talk like a twerp? Blackmail information is all gravy. For another promotion I'll tell you what Geordi was doing in the Jeffries tube on Tuesday.

 

[Gary7]

Data: "You used the gravitational pull of that larger asteroid to swing around and vaporize three smaller asteroids in a row. Excellent, sir. Oh and look out, a saucer has just appeared."
Picard: "Thank you, Mr. Data."

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: I'm going in closer to one of the big ones.

Data: Captain, about your "plan."

 

[boco]

Picard: I should have listen to you, Data, and turn left at Alburquerque