TNG Caption This #218: The Dancing Doctor

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday to everyone! Hope the week has treated you well. Lets get to business.

First up, we have the "Don't just stand there!" Award goes to:

Geordi: Hurry up before it hits somewhere besides my fingers!

Next, the "Enforcer" Award goes to:

Geordi: Miles, I'm here to enforce your wife's instructions -- no dessert for you! You're on a diet, remember?

Next, the "Philip J. Fry Award for smelling colors" Goes to:

Geordi - Damn, my visor must be on the fritz, because I can't see a thing in here. And what smells like pink?

Next, the "Welcome Back, Captain" Award goes to:

LaForge: "Captain, I regret to report that my conn officer and my ops officer are both three sheets to the wind."

Next, the "Judging by the look on Deanna's face, she's already made up her mind" Award goes to:

LaForge: "Happy Birthday, Worf!"
Troi: "Yes Worf. Happy Birthday."
Riker: "Whatever. We're gonna have to cut and run Worf, Deanna and I are running an empirical experiment to see if chocolate is indeed better than sex."

The Photoshop Award goes to:

Data: "Geordi, this would be a prime opportunity to use Star Power."

Geordi: "I've got nothing to say to you O'brien. You know why."

O'brien: "What is wrong with you people?!"

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to all participants! Now, continuing our trip through the TNG Senior Staff, lets say hi to Doctor Crusher.

Off we go!

 

[LeadHead]

Crusher: Data, you get really boring emails.

Crusher: Where are we going?

Data: Who cares? We're finally beaming down ready for bad guys to come and attack us!

Data: Why is there an anvil hanging up there?

Crusher: He's dead, Jean- Worf! What are you doing here?

Worf: The Captain wanted me to throw you in the brig if you tried to rip off that phrase.

Picard: Welcome aboard, Ambassador. This is some of my senior staff, the rest are sneaking aboard your ship now to steal your files on the Romulans.

 

[Finn]

Beverly: What's wrong with you?

Data: Counselor Troi's mother had Mr. Homn give me dancing lessons yesterday and my head has been stuck like this for 12 hours.

Picard: (thinking) Should I grab Beverly's butt?

Geordi: (thinking) Please don't let Riker grab my butt!

 

[BriGuy]

Crusher: He's dead.
Worf: Yes, I know. I broke his neck.

And it was even more satisfying than I dreamed it would be.

 

[Holdfast]

CRUSHER: I wish I'd paid attention in medschool.
WORF: Never mind. He's only Ferengi; no-one will ask any questions.


(too dark...? )

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: And if you accept the Federation's proposal, I have been authorized to give you the female.

Allien: But... it's damaged... it's blind!

Picard: No, it's the other one...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

The away team prepares to beam down to the planet Kancho.

 

[Gary7]

Data: (to himself) These people are driving me crazy. 'Search for this, Data', 'Search for that, Data.' I have got to transfer back to engineering.

Riker: "OK, nobody move--I just lost a contact lens!"

Data: "Do not worry Dr. Crusher. I am paying attention, in addition to computing the value of Pi to the googolplex place."

Worf: "Dr. Crusher, I refuse to do this CPR class with a Ferengi victim!"

Wesley entered the conference room stark naked.
Wesley: "I can't live without you Captain Picard. I love you!"

Riker looked over at Picard in amazement. Geordi thought he heard a pin drop. Beverly had trouble holding back her bladder.

 

[BriGuy]

Data: I am puzzled, doctor.
Crusher: About how to dance, Data?
Data: No. I am uncertain how those Halyomorpha halys acquired entry to the holo deck.

 

[BriGuy]

Crusher: He's dead.
Ferengi: Huh? What? Dead??!!?!!? I'm not dead! I was just sleeping! This whole ship looks like a Hilton hotel room. We Ferengi prefer hard sleeping surfaces. I was just taking a nap!
Worf: Yes, definitely dead. How should we dispose of the body?
Ferengi: Don't you people hear me??? I'm not dead!!! Oh, wait, right, with ears that small, you probably can't hear me...

 

[Isis]

Crusher: He's dead, Jean- Worf! What are you doing here?

Worf: The Captain wanted me to throw you in the brig if you tried to rip off that phrase.

Crusher: "Well, how about 'I'm a doctor, not an EMT?'"

 

[Isis]

Data: "In retrospect, I think the aviary was a poor choice for our dancing lesson."

Crusher: "Why, Data? It's so pretty here."

Data: "I now recall that birds cannot be toilet trained, and apparently, nature called when one of them was directly over my head."

 

[Isis]

After the Anthony Weiner debacle of the 21st Century, they tried to remove all his postings from cyberspace. However, in the 24th Century it was discovered that they hadn't been a hundred percent successful.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Riker: Turn it! Over - what are you DOING?
Data: Anticipating. I am a Tetris master, commander.

Crusher: Worf, as much as I appreciate your trying to find me a Ferengi skeleton for the schoolroom, I don't think this was...the best approach.

Data: Doctor, were you anticipating visitors? Clerical figures?
Crusher: ...no.
(Three red-cloaked figures fall to the floor from the ceiling)
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisiton!

 

[Gary7]

Dr. Crusher: "Worf, how did this happen?"
Worf: "I... I bumped into him. That's it. These Ferengi are so short, he was below my field of vision. And apparently they're quite fragile. He then fell over like a dead tree and just laid there."
Dr. Crusher: "Uh, huh... "

 

[Gary7]

Worf: "I caught him scanning his ears on the copier over there, when I entered the room. He was apparently so startled that he just fainted straight away."

 

[Gary7]

Data: (thinking) Serenity now, serenity now!

 

[Isis]

Crusher: "Worf, how many times have I said that you're just one of those people who should never try to monopolize the conversation?"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

[insert Nimoy bike joke]

 

[BriGuy]

Data, thinking:OK, gotta remember to humor them, play along. She wants to 'teach' me how to dance. How cute. Apparently forgets I'm an android and can be programmed in seconds with every style of dance known in the Federation.

Crusher: Something on your mind, Data?

Data: No, doctor. I was... compiling. Please, continue the lesson.