TNG Caption This #191: Crew Rotations

[LeadHead]

Good evening folks, sorry for not posting this earlier today, but unfortunately, I was crazy busy.

So lets get to some winners!

First, the "JJ Abrams Award" goes to:

Worf: Commander, this planet is inhabited by hostile lens flares!

Next, the "Thank you for not including Keanu Reeves" Award goes to:

Star Trek: Reloaded

Directed by the Wachowski Brothers

Next, the "Maybe you should take a sick day" Award goes to:

Worf: "AAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!!!"

Picard: "For the last time, Mr Worf, report to sickbay. The bridge won't take another of those."

Next, The "Either way, you should be okay" Award goes to:

Beverly had a 50% chance of getting her orders to "shoot the uglier one" correct.

Next, the "Proving the Value of starting with holodeck training" Award, goes to:

Worf: What is the nacelle doing so close to the saucer?

Data: Troi got into a fender-bender at the training course.

Worf: ... but isn't the course closed off to other ships during a lesson?

I went back and forth on our Photoshop submissions, but in the end, they both kept me laughing, so we have double Photoshop Awards!

Worf: "Do you think we can take 'em?"

Data: "Affirmative." (stiffly jabbing a thumbs up)

And

And our last award of the evening, the Contest Crossover Award goes to:

Data: "There is another shuttle in our path, I'm adjusting course."

Worf: "Certainly not! We have the right of way, it would be dishonorable to deviate. Stay on course."

Kirk: "I'm willing to bet that they'll flinch first."
Spock: "I fail to see the logic..."
Kirk: "Trust me on this. It's an Earth game called chicken. I played it all the time in my Uncle's car. They will flinch first."

Now, on with our next contest!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: I've been waiting a long time to say this to you, get me some tea, Earl Grey, COLD!

Picard: NOOOOOOO!

Picard: Report Mister Worf.

Worf: The DVR is 80% full, recommend we watch some of the House re-runs.

Tate: Incoming Borg ship, do you want me to beam the rest of the senior officers up?

Crusher: Nope, this ship is mine now!

Jellico: Number One...

Worf: Oh No, he didn't!

Riker: Wait, where did they go?

O'Brien: You know what a Transporter is, right?

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Beverly got through the day by thinking back on worst bets she had lost.

One of the perks of the command branch was the executive marble spacer you could place between yourself and less desirable crew members.

 

[Bad Atom]

Worf: Look at me, I'm Data! I am an android! I do not have emotions! I cannot understand humor! Blah blah blah!

Picard: Hey, I'm Commander Riker! Lemme just prop my leg up on your console so you can get a whiff of my nuts!

Riker: Ooh, I'm Captain Picaaahhhhd. Watch me frown disapprovingly at my subordinates! Ha! I'm so British! Er, French...

Guy at Tactical: Grrr, I'm Worf! I'm such a bad-ass except I get beat up every other week! Q'apla!

Ensign Jones experiences the "Crusher maneuver" firsthand...

 

[Mr. Adventure]

^^ That first one is classic

 

[Finn]

Worf: Look at me, I'm Data! I am an android! I do not have emotions! I cannot understand humor! Blah blah blah!

Picard: Hey, I'm Commander Riker! Lemme just prop my leg up on your console so you can get a whiff of my nuts!

Riker: Ooh, I'm Captain Picaaahhhhd. Watch me frown disapprovingly at my subordinates! Ha! I'm so British! Er, French...

Guy at Tactical: Grrr, I'm Worf! I'm such a bad-ass except I get beat up every other week! Q'apla!

That's a good one

Beverly: "Did I tell you about my boy? He used to sit here and save the day. But I'm sure you can, with these big muscles and all"

Worf: *under his breath* "If he cracks his knunckles one more time, I'm going to snap his head off"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Data (thinking): Whoa, looks like I did a little too much LCD last night.

(Yes, I made that joke! )

Picard; "Warp one engage Mr Worf."
Worf; ...
Riker; "Worf, warp one please."
Worf; "I CAN DO IT WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER!"

(I know how he feels in work )

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Yay!! Thanks for the win! (Does the Thanks for the Win dance)

Internet Nerd: LOLWUT! Obvious photoshop is obvious! FAIL! LOL! ROFLMAO! STFU! GBTW!!! +1 INTERNETS! O RLY?

Worf: (in klingonese) Life forms!!! You Tiny little life forms!!! Qa'pla!!!

Ensign: Ahh, yeah. That's the spot. Yeah. Right there

Picard: Number One could you?... Data? Where's Commander Riker?

Data: Who is this Data? I am clearly Commander Riker. See, I'm wearing a red uniform and I say things like 'Red Alert!' and 'All power to the replicators!'

Riker's first attempt at the transporter driving test didn't turn out well

 

[Mojochi]

Picard's color blindness was about to have severe consequences in this alternate timeline

Dr. Crusher: "These therapeutic body massages for the bridge staff, were much creepier a few years ago"

Worf: I never get noticed around here. Maybe another sash will show people how important I am

O'Brien (Thinking) "Yeah, & who's the lucky SOB who gets to clean THAT up? Thanks for the help nimrod."

Computer Voice: "ACCESS DENIED"

AH AH AH! You didn't say the magic word
AH AH AH! You didn't say the magic word
AH AH AH! You didn't say the magic word

Worf: PLEASE!!!!! I hate this hacker crap!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Remember, Picard its your turn to polish my ridges.

PICARD (sobbing) Q!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENSIGN (thinking): I dont mind the massage, but does she have to keep calling me "Wesley"?

WORF: Nice fitting uniform. One of Riker's hand me downs?

O'BRIEN: So, explain to me again why you're at the controls and I'm "holding up the wall?"

WORF: Most of the memory is being used for storing Mr Data's Amateur Porn.

PICARD: Is that.....

RIKER: Tasha!!!!????

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "So, just between us junior officers, how do you guys think old Picard is handling things?"
Data: "Captain, this attempted subterfuge is pointless. Everyone knows it's you."
Picard: "But...but it worked so well in Henry V!"

Worf: "It's hopeless, Captain. I think it's a programming bug. There is just no way to get past the dragon to open the door to Level 12! Perhaps I should contact Starfleet Command to see if there is a game update patch available."
Picard: "Make it so!"

Officer at Tactical: "*snicker* Better knock it off, Beverly...before you activate his 'manual steering column'!"

Riker: "Sorry about the shove, Chief, but it's a Starfleet tradition! Commander Spock used to do it to Lieutenant Kyle all the time!"

 

[Supernuke]

Thanks for the win!

Worf: There are many different Klingon sexual positions. This one is my personal favorite. Many Humans have tried it, but none have survived. Humans are much too fragile.

Riker(thinking): Pshh I could do that in my sleep

Picard(thinking): The horror!! Why would I ever bring this up? Stupid, Jean-Luc! Stupid! Stupid!!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: Mr. Worf, your performance at Minesweeper is abysmal. How is it that you are my tactical officer?

Riker: Uh...whoa.
O'Brien: As far as mistakes go, sir, that was a pretty good one.
Tasha, OS on pad: Commander, I appear to be out of uniform.

Picard suddenly realized that he and Beverly forgot to switch clothes back after that red alert sounded.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Ensign: "I suppose a blowjob is out of the question?"

 

[Captain Crow]

O'Brien: I'll be damned! You can work the transporter with just your pecker.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Worf: "Ensign Picard, what is the matter? Feeling a bit ... blue? HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!!!"

Worf: To himself, "Hummm ... Data is right; I can smell the 'stinknuts'..."

Riker: Off screen, "Mr. worf, Beverly, Wesley, you're with me. Data, for obvious reasons, will not be joining us on this away mission."

 

[alte]

Re: TNG Caption This #191: Rainbow Connection

 

[tharpdevenport]

"I ... I was on 'Reading Ranbow'..."

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Picard: Effective immediately, I have handed over control of this vessel to acting captain, Wesley Crusher.

Worf: Did you say Wesley? The boy?

Wesley(o.s): Thank you, Captain Picard. And with that order dawns a brave new day for the Enterprise.

 

[alte]

Re: TNG Caption This #191: NSFB (Not Safe For Bridge)